Father...what should I do to protect my custody chances?

[6771america]

My wife left 17-FEB-06 and took our two children (9 & 5). Originally we discussed keeping the children a week at a time each. Upon arrival of the time for my week with the children she recanted and said she never agreed to that and thought it best for her to have them and me to have them every other weekend (86/14 instead of 50/50 parenting time) and also that the 50/50 parenting time was my idea and not a compromise.

Does letting her have the children more than 50/50 jeopardize my chances of getting 50/50 custody or joint custody?

What can she do if I tell her I am keeping them every other week?

I feel she is taking advantage of me being nice and trying to set a precedence in that she has them more often, I did not agree her keeping them 86/14 and she does not agree to keeping them 50/50.

[sheerdark]

So long as no court orders have been put into effect that say otherwise - you have just as might righ to have your children at your home as she has to have them at her home.

I am sure that she changed her mind after speaking with an attorney.  Yes, she is trying to set a precident of her being the "primary caregiver" or whatever they call it in your area.  Most attorneys will advise women of the necessity for them to limit the father's access - some will even go as far as telling the woman not to let the man take the children at all - just in case he might get the idea to run with the child(ren).

More likely than not, if you cannot get your wife to agree to 50/50, you will not get it from a judge.  Your best chance to get 50/50 is to pursue it now in the form of a temporary order...but you'll have to prove that you've been involved in the kids lives, etc.  If you TELL her that you will be keeping them every other week, you won't get very far unless you just take them.  She can easily limit your contact with your children and nothing significant will happen to her for doing so.  However, most attorneys that I talked to suggested that a father should NEVER do the same thing.

Yes, she is taking advantage of you - in order to get what she wants.  It happened to me...it will happen to many others.  Your best bet is to get a good lawyer, if you don't already have one.  Try to settle things in mediation, if you can.  Some attorneys actually realize that a father should be involved in his children's lives, so long as he has been active up to the point of the divorce.

Good Luck!