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Welcome to single motherhood. *sigh*

Started by KND, Jan 09, 2004, 07:42:07 PM

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MKx2

Wasn't on these boards when you were previously active, but I'm glad you've come back here in your time of need!

Bless your heart!  I am so sorry that the world seems to be dumping every difficult thing it can find for you right in your face ... and I'm also so sorry to hear about all of DH's struggles right now.

Hang in there KND ... ya know, we're never given more than we can handle - just sometimes I wonder who sets the bar on where that amount is for us!

Post often and let us know how things are going - and get that weekend way as SOON as you can!  You need it, and so do the kids.

((((((((KND & family)))))))))

Indigo Mom

But I have to assume it's a child...LOL

I knew someone who allowed her child to be adopted by a friends sister.  The mother was a crack addict and wanted nothing to do with her kids.  She gave one to the father, one to her mother, and the middle child was going somewhere else.  The middle child was the only one that was being adopted.  

Obviously there's a father somewhere.  (her kids had different dads)What her lawyer did was have her put an ad in a newspaper where the guy was last known to live.  So, she did this...in New York.  (turns out she knew the father was in Texas, but didn't want the adoption to be stalled)  I can't remember how long, but the father had X amount of days to respond...and that's IF he even read the paper.

When he didn't respond, the adoption went through.  You might want to talk to someone about doing this same thing.  Well, do it the right way...no deception like this crack head did.


MKx2

LOL - I had to go back and read her posts to find it!

Oh well ... Blonde Brain Syndrome here - hope you haven't caught it from me Indy!

KND

"LO" stands for Little One, which is the name I gave our li'l booger during the neverending hell on wheels custody battle. Since I was talking about him CONSTANTLY online, it was just a cute little nick I came up with to identify him seperately from SD.

I don't know about publishing it in the paper, I think there is something about parental terminations in our state that makes that a problem? I'm not for sure though and I'm working on affording an attorney that can help with this, as it's very frustrating. I know that CSE can't even find her to get her served with contempt papers (she's 11 thousand in arrears) and for some reason they can't publish it. I dont pretend to understand though, so it's a work in progress. I do know that the GAL is in full support of adoption, so at least that part is settled.

Thanks for the tips-take care!

KND

KND

"we're never given more than we can handle - just sometimes I wonder who sets the bar on where that amount is for us"

Yeah, and when I find whoever is in charge of setting that bar I'm gonna WRING THEIR NECK!!!

Thanks for the support...

KND

MKx2

[em]Yeah, and when I find whoever is in charge of setting that bar I'm gonna WRING THEIR NECK!!![/em]

Hey!  save a bit of the fun for me, will ya?

gmaoftwo

What a nightmare for your family to have to go through!  Everyone here has given you good advice, especially about your family needing to be in therapy.  That can be very helpful, but it does take time.

You are your family's strength right now, so do be sure to take care of yourself, as the others have suggested.  And even though you may feel like you're about to go crazy, you are actually stronger than you know.

Sometimes all you can do is to focus on each day as it comes, make the best of it and not worry too much about the future.

Lean on us KND, we care!!!

MYSONSDAD

I did not know you when you where on the board before. I truly feel for what your family is going thru. My prayers to you and yours. Just take one step at a time. God only gives you what you can handle.

One thing that I get from your post. Could your husband be having an adverse reaction to his medication? I would be letting his doctor know what's going on. Is any kind of depressant included that your not aware of?

nosonew

I had a friend who's hubby was injured on the job.  It affected him physically and mentally. He also changed, due to the brain injury, and due to depression, it's been 6 years since the accident, he's healed physically (took 3 years) and just now is looking for a job because she couldn't take it anymore and kicked him out.  Tough love she said. But he is finally getting his act together now that she isn't doing everything for him. I guess it's the sink or swim thing with them.  

I can't imagine going thru what you are going thru.  I guess on the bright side, I guess it's good that you aren't losing your skids that you love as your own.  

I doubt he is having a bad reaction to the meds, he probably just doesn't "know" what normal is due to the brain injury and "forgets" that normal is when he does take the meds. Alot like with schitzophrenics, they start feeling good so they stop taking meds, then they are back to square one and don't know it.  

Hopefully he will be compliant with his doctors orders and with time, his brain will continue to heal.  Who knows to what extent, it sometimes takes years.  

Hang in there!  My thoughts and prayers are with you!!!

StPaulieGirl

What a difficult situation for all of you.  I hope your husband is sticking to doctor's orders regarding his meds at least.  

I'm not too familiar with brain injuries caused by trauma, but I'm familiar with Alzheimers.  I wouldn't insist or even suggest that your husband watch the kids.  It's too unpredictible.  They turn into people you don't know anymore, that much I know.  

I would be surprised if you used up all your babysitting points with your mom and friends.  This is a family crisis, and I'm sure that they'll support you through this.

Have you spoken with your husband's doctor?  Maybe the doctor can give you some kind of help or information.  There are probably support groups out there.  Like me and Alzheimer's support groups, you're probably juggling too many things to get the time to go :-(

I would definitely talk with your husband's doctor, though.  Don't worry about venting.  This is a really traumatic time in you and the kids lives.  I feel bad for your husband, too.  He's basically lost himself.

Take care, KND!