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Started by wysiwyg, Nov 12, 2006, 04:47:27 AM

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wysiwyg

When I (SM) went to get SS, BM said he would be a few min and slammed door in my face, when SS comes out at 610 he says on way to car that he has a school activity at 630. I said we did not know and did his mom talk to his dad he said no. When we got in the car I handed him my cell phone and asked him to call his mother and ask her to work it out with his dad (she calls me a whore, flips me off and will not speak to me - all this is docucmented in court with the GAL's report) I pulled over in the car and waited for him to co,plete his call so that I did not get too far in case there was some decision to be made.  BM refuses to answer home or cell phone, so SS leaves a message to contact dad. I called dad and asked him what we should do that I felt uncomfortable in that I had nothing from BM that said he had any activity and not that I do not trust SS, but court records from GAL already pegged him as a liar - and I was not going to leave him some place on a minors word with no confirmation that this was indeed a school function that he was to attend.

BM finally calls back nearly an hour after child was to be at the school and leaves a mesasge that "SS was negligible for not contacting BF earlier in the week" and "that the child "was delinquent" in giving BF the information" and that SS left 2 phone messages earlier today and if we caused him to not go then SS would face repercussions in school...etc etc etc. When we got home tonight there were 2 prior calls from SS - but both on home phone and he knew we were both at work and no call was ever placed to either cell phone or to our work. As a parent I would never allow my kids to go anywhere without speaking to antoher parent with whom my child was to be with.

The court order does not give me the authority to take and drop off the child anywhere I see fit without the knowledge of his father while in our care. When I called BF he had heard nothing from BM or anything to confirm this activity. So he said he was only comfortable with having the child with us since nothing was discussed otherwise.  The GAL report entered into court already found the child to be a liar and while I had no reason to doubt SS at this time, I felt uncomfortable leaving him anywhere without any kind of documentation or parental knowledge of the activity.  

Court orders pertaining to this situation provide for SM to pick up child in place of BF as his representative. BF to have parenting time EOW from 6 to 6 and to be availalbe at the residence of the CP, BM is to tell BF as far in advance of any activity on his time to either work out alternate arrangements or decide if child is to go due to pre scheduled activities with BF, neither party is to involve the child in their disputes in regards to parenting times and the child is not to act as a go between.


Comments?


4honor

Let BM have a cow... we will all eat beef for the winter!
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.

wysiwyg

THe ourts orders that I can get the child, BM is to tell BF in advance of all issues and activities of the child, not have the child call and tell us when and where he will see us.  I was concerned in that there was no infomraiton or communication and if the child was lying to me and say I decide on my own to take him to teh school and he takes off with friends and gets into trouble, then my butt is in a crap load of trouble as neither his mother or father gave me any premission to do anything different other than get him and bring him home.  It is not the childs responsibility to tell us of activities or school programs etc, she is not to use him as a go between and the phone call is him with her voice in teh background DICTATING to him what to tell us.  

Kitty C.

Then I think you did exactly what you should have done.  Let's just say if the situation would have happened to me, SS would just have to be disappointed and would NOT have gone to the school function.  Now, if this 'function' were supposedly something he HAD to do for school, then it was BM's responsibility (per CO) that she notify you about it.  And I would have your DH call the school and inform them as to why your SS wasn't there............because you were NOT informed about the event.

Like 4honor said, let the BM have a cow...........she's only lashing out at you because she KNOWS she screwed up, won't admit it, and you and DH are convenient to vent to about it.  Childish, yes...........but whoever said BM's like this were mature?  If that were the case, this would never have happened in the first place!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

wysiwyg

Exactly my position, I guess I was looking for reassurance that I did the right thing, to add more "details" whenI got SS at 610 and he said he had to be at school at 630, I pulled the car to the curb and had him call his mom to try adn have her work it out with dad, she refused to answer home or cell phone.  Since the child (who is a teen) has been found in court records to lie, how would anyone know what the truth is?  YOu should have heardthe mesage she left an hour after the function started, how we caused him to miss it, and how the child was delinquent in not giving us the information and on and on and on until the answering machine cut her off.  

You she is having a cow allright, and to boot I just found out her attorney dropped her, jsut like her last ones did.  hmmmmm I can hardly imagine why??????