Unmarried Fathers Rights

[KKJ995]

My step son and his girlfriend recenly ended their 3 year relationship.  They have 2 children from this relationship.  His girl friend is not letting him see the girls.  Yesterday I found a website for Unmarried parent's rights and responsibilites in the state of MN.

It says that even though he is listed as the father and has signed the ROP at the hospital that she has sole legal custody and physical placement unless a judge says otherwise.

It also comes right out and says that an un married father has no legal rights to custody or visitation to the child.

Am I missing something here?  He actually has no rights?

Thanks for any responses.

[Sherry1]

a lawyer to establish parentage, child support and visitation rights.  My son had to do this, the lawyer cost us about $2000.  It will only get expensive if she starts saying the kids aren't his, he is abusive, or tries to fight for sole custody.

[Ref]

that is the case. It is messed up but now you have started researching you will find out how to help them out.

The first thing he needs to do is get a custody agreement put in place. Most people on this forum seem to recommend 50/50 custody if both are in the same area.

I would invest in a good family law laywer. This is a critical time for him to have his rights established. If he does things right at this point, he can avoid tremendous expenses later (overpayment of child support, legal bills from petty disputes....)

DH messed up there and got a terrible (cheap) lawyer. BM moved out of state (if he had a good lawyer, he would have told him how to stop it) and has denied most of his visitation for the past 13 years. After he found out about his rights, he paid over $10k to get proper visitation established and enforced. We both regret him not putting in the money at the beginning. He also didn't have much when she left, but a little credit card debt would have been preferable to all the time he lost with his daughter.

Best Wishes
Ref

[KKJ995]

Thank you for your response.

It is my understanding that he is going to hire a lawyer.  I personally feel he should find one that specializes in fathers rights.  He is talking about sole custody.  
How long did all this take...may I ask?  $2000 doesn't really seem all that bad.
We are all concerned about the well being of the girls.  The mother, well lets just say she could use some serious parenting skills.  

[KKJ995]

Thank you for your response.  I am not sure how I came across this website, but I am feeling a relief just being able to communicate with others who have been through this and are willing to share.  I am very grateful.  
I have read some of the posts in a few of the forums and am wondering about the Abbreviations.  Is there somewhere that I can find what they all are?
I agree that he should have a good lawyer from the start.

Thank you again!

[Sherry1]

able to get an emergency order since visitation was denied.  His court date was scheduled 3 weeks from the date of the filing.  She hired a lawyer too.  At the time of the emergency hearing, the judge immediately ordered my son to have every other weekend and every other Saturday.  Her lawyer objected because BM was adamant about no overnights.  The judge ordered them to mediation, but in the interim my son was to have every other Saturday until mediation. Our lawyer asked the judge if my son could have his son that afternoon also.  Judge agreed and ordered biomom (BM) to meet my son at an agreed location.  I believe my grandson was about 3 at the time.  BM was adamately against overnight visits.  So, at mediation, my son said that BM just balled like a baby during the entire session and agreed to the every other weekend and every Saturday.  There were bumps along the way and she pulled funnies every once in a while including trying to screw up holidays as much as possible.  Long story, but my grandson is now 7 years old and my son now lives with BM :O.  BM also has a 3 year old that doesn't have a dad and he calls my son dad.  I honestly don't know if it will work out, they have been living together for a year.

The price is really going to depend on your state and if your son's GF opposes visitation, wants sole custody, and starts saying that he isn't the father, then it can get expensive.  I guess the question is, how much money does she and/her family have?  Are they well off financially?  If not, then it should be a piece of cake.

[Sherry1]

BM = BIOMOM
SO = SIGNIFICANT OTHER
PBFH = PSYCHO BITCH FROM HELL
DH = DARLING HUSBAND OR DUMB HUSBAND
SD = STEPDAUGHTER
SS = STEPSON
BF = BIOFATHER
DD = DARLING DAUGHTER
DS = DARLING SON


Can't think of any others, maybe Ref has the list somewhere

[KKJ995]

I'm sure that helped out a lot!  As for them now living together, that is somewhat scarry because like you say you don't know if it will work out.  SS lived with his GF for about a year.  They were in the process of moving out of their apartment.  She was going to move in with her parents and he with his mom.  He does not like her mom at all, she bosses him around and tells him what to do.  I don't blame him.

SS has been called 'dad' by GF oldest daughter for 3 years now, he is the only father she knows.  

Thanks for the list of Abbreviations, that is very helpful.

As far as finances go, in my opinion she is 'milking' the system.  Going to school for the 3rd time, different goal this time.  I do believe she gets free help since she gets assistance.  Don't know if that will work in her favor or not.  
We are going to help SS out with his attorney fees.  I just hope his mom assists him in finding a good attorney!  That may sound strange, but since he is now living with his mom (a very controlling woman who consults or threatens  with a lawyer every time she doesn't get what she wants) only makes sense to me.  We don't live in the same state, about an hour apart.

Again, thank you!

[dadinva2006]

Make sure your son knows what to expect financially. I was an unmarried father and I filed for custody, BM claimed DV, trial cost over $22,000. Don't be fooled by the $2,000 figure you were given, thisis far from the norm. He should expect to spend at least $20,000.
The good news is I won my case!

[KKJ995]

Thanks.  I honestly don't expect it to go smoothly.  She is very bitter with SS and is just trying her hardest to push his buttons.  SS is doing an awesome job of staying focused.

What is DV?
Thanks for the encouraging news!  That is great that you won your case.  How long did take?  Did you go for sole custody from the start?  Would you mind sharing some of your situation with me?  I would really appreciate it.

I guess I must have been living in another world up until now.  I had no idea that dad's regardless if they are married or unmarried had such little if no rights.