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Advice re: "Guardian ad litem" in CA??

Started by sand_castle, Jan 16, 2004, 10:32:19 AM

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sand_castle

Has anyone had any experience working with one of these?  I've heard they can work wonders...  Not to mention save you thousands in attorney fees.  I was just wondering (hoping) someone could give me some pro's / con's of working with one, and how to go about it?  

I've been browsing some of the posts on these boards and you all seem so well informed and helpful, so I'd like to thank you in advance for any advice you could give to a girl just trying to help her future husband fix his currently horrible custody situation.

sweetnsad

I live in Canada..but you are in the right place with tons of informative people to help you with any problems you have...

Good luck to you and your future husband...:-)

Astro

Everyone will say Document, Document, Document.  It's true.  Have all of your ducks in a row.

If you have an attorney make sure that they check out the past history of the GAL's "decisions".  If not, do it yourself.  I wish that I would have.

Once you (your child, that is) have a GAL always keep things positive.  Refrain from talking negatively at all about the ex.  Show how much better the situation could be in your home--but don't do it in a way that is trying to "one up" the other.  Inevitably you will want/have to voice your concerns about the ex's keeping the child from you, alcoholism, hedonism, PAS, lowlife boyfriend, etc., etc., fill in the blank.  While I don't see any way around that, try to be proactive and have possible solutions about dealing with whatever problems lay before you.

While I have more suggestions I am short on time today--I will try to take the time later for I went through this several years ago and frankly I have tried to forget that nightmare--I'll have to dredge up some memories....x(

Remember be positive--you are trying to show that you are the person least likely to alienate the child from the other parent.  Also, if you see any impropriety on the part of the GAL (man hater, obvious affiliation with the ex or her lawyer, etc.) report it BEFORE any report is written by them--once that report is written it's pretty much a done deal.  Judges almost always rule in accordance with that report....

Astro

Everyone will say Document, Document, Document.  It's true.  Have all of your ducks in a row.

If you have an attorney make sure that they check out the past history of the GAL's "decisions".  If not, do it yourself.  I wish that I would have.

Once you (your child, that is) have a GAL always keep things positive.  Refrain from talking negatively at all about the ex.  Show how much better the situation could be in your home--but don't do it in a way that is trying to "one up" the other.  Inevitably you will want/have to voice your concerns about the ex's keeping the child from you, alcoholism, hedonism, PAS, lowlife boyfriend, etc., etc., fill in the blank.  While I don't see any way around that, try to be proactive and have possible solutions about dealing with whatever problems lay before you.

While I have more suggestions I am short on time today--I will try to take the time later for I went through this several years ago and frankly I have tried to forget that nightmare--I'll have to dredge up some memories....x(

Remember be positive--you are trying to show that you are the person least likely to alienate the child from the other parent.  Also, if you see any impropriety on the part of the GAL (man hater, obvious affiliation with the ex or her lawyer, etc.) report it BEFORE any report is written by them--once that report is written it's pretty much a done deal.  Judges almost always rule in accordance with that report....

wendl

Well I am not in CA but my husband had a guardian ad litem, so far this woman hasn't look into any of my husbands concerns (that we know of) the courts in our case feel that bm being kidnapped, raped (this was was convicted) by her so called father who is NOT related by blood or marriage, didn't see this as a problem and it' ok for this man to be around my husbands children. WTF.  

Anyways, I personally would say "yes, get one, but make sure to be on your best behavior, don't give them anything they can use against you in their report,  don't bad or down talk to the other parent, keep it factual with documentation. Don't rely that this person will be fair, some are still bias'd (sp) make sure you continue to show what you want is in the best interest of the child(ren).

Get yourself a good family law board certified attorney and go to the courthouse and watch the attorneys in action prior to hiring one.  Sometimes they seem all eager to help you when in reality they don't. Luckily my husband was referred by someone here to a wonderfull attorney.

This is will a long fight so don't get discouraged, if you feel you are, come and post or into chat and others will help you thru it.

This is a great place for resources, advice and to make some new friends that know what hell this can be.

Good luck