S.P.A.R.C.

Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center
crazy gamesriddles and jokesfunny picturesdeath psychic!mad triviafunny & odd!pregnancy testshape testwin custodyrecipes

Author Topic: Right of first refusal clarification  (Read 7182 times)

proudofmyboys

  • New Arrival
  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
Right of first refusal clarification
« on: Jun 12, 2008, 11:25:18 AM »
Hello and thanks for reading/replying to this post.

I have the right of first refusal written in the parenting plan and my ex-wife left for a week for her honeymoon. She told me she wasn't leaving until Sunday evening and I found out from my 8 yr old that she left Sunday morning. So her parents kept them all day without telling me. They are staying in my ex-wife's house and are being cared for by the g-ma.

Question #1: I know she was obligated to notify me so that I get first dibs on the boys, but were the grand parents obligated as well? They said that they didn't have to.

So the boys and I were shafted out of a day.

In addition, the grand parents say that I have no right to come over every evening this week because they are caring for my boys. Last night they said they already had "plans" and that I couldn't come get them. I said they needed to notify me first.

Question #2: Do I have the right to go get the boys every evening after work since my ex is out of town and return them for the night?

My ex told me that while she was gone that the parenting plan would not change. I submit that I should be able to keep them all week if I didn't work during the day.

What are your thoughts?

Thanks,
Dave


ocean

  • Private Reserve
  • SuperHero
  • ***
  • Posts: 5055
  • Karma: 172
    • View Profile
RE: Right of first refusal clarification
« Reply #1 on: Jun 12, 2008, 12:18:43 PM »
You should have them for the whole week and not return them until she comes back. When is the first day you have them in your parenting plan usually? Go get them the first time and them keep them for the rest of the week. Are you able to bring them to school or have daycare while you work? If you want them for the week, then it is for the full week, not using the grandparents for babysitting.

Does your ex have a cell phone that you can contact her? If not I would call the grandparents and tell them she needs to call you ASAP and that you will file in court if you do not have your normal parenting time...

MixedBag

  • Global Moderator
  • SuperHero
  • *****
  • Posts: 3049
  • Karma: 155
  • That's Me...MixedBag
    • View Profile
    • http://www.doilyboutique.com
RE: Right of first refusal clarification
« Reply #2 on: Jun 12, 2008, 12:24:35 PM »
Is it defined in more details in your order?

I agree that you should pick up the kids and take them back when mom returns particularly since she's gone for a week.

I'm not even sure that whether or not you work during the day plays into this.


proudofmyboys

  • New Arrival
  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
RE: Right of first refusal clarification
« Reply #3 on: Jun 12, 2008, 12:38:10 PM »
Well I work during the day so I'm fine with them staying with g-ma but I believe that they need to give them up to me as soon as I get there after work and keep them until it's time for them to get ready for bed.

Isn't that correct?

Since she just got remarried this would apply to her new husband as well I think.

ocean

  • Private Reserve
  • SuperHero
  • ***
  • Posts: 5055
  • Karma: 172
    • View Profile
RE: Right of first refusal clarification
« Reply #4 on: Jun 13, 2008, 05:28:31 AM »
no, you get them for the week..not choose when grandparents babysit (unless you asked grandparents and that was the arrangement). You should have them at your house for the whole week and make arrangements for when you are at work.


tigger

  • Private Reserve
  • SuperHero
  • ***
  • Posts: 7923
  • Karma: 591
    • View Profile
of the kids weren't available then the other parent gets right of first refusal.  Stepparents were to be included in the list 6 months after the divorce was final.  (He married two weeks later.)

Unless she wrote to you to count that week as a vacation week with the grandparents, then I'd say the court order is in effect.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!

Davy

  • Sr. Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1013
  • Karma: -545
    • View Profile
Sick, sick, sick, sick. The  'right of first refusal' concept provides for combatting these non entities and any atty, court, or jurisdiction that allows such artricious behavior should be disbarred for bias and prejudice.

tigger

  • Private Reserve
  • SuperHero
  • ***
  • Posts: 7923
  • Karma: 591
    • View Profile
My ex agreed to it. And there was nothing sick about it though
« Reply #7 on: Jun 14, 2008, 09:32:53 PM »
you are entitled to your opinion, as misguided as it may be.  He wanted the right to leave the kids with his parents.  As his parents like me and we get along, it was no big deal.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!

Davy

  • Sr. Member
  • ******
  • Posts: 1013
  • Karma: -545
    • View Profile
Right of first refusal clarification
« Reply #8 on: Jun 16, 2008, 08:31:32 AM »
The OP posted asking for a clarification.  You provided s scenario in your little world that is in direct conflict and is contrary to the purpose and intent of widespread custody statues and practices designed primarily to give children more access to government designated non custodial parents while attempting to avoid/diffuse conflict and interference from non parents.

I think it is/was considered 'Children Rights' legislation.

proudofmyboys

  • New Arrival
  • *
  • Posts: 8
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
RE: Right of first refusal clarification
« Reply #9 on: Jun 16, 2008, 09:07:19 AM »
So do I understand correctly that I had every right to have my boys every evening after work while their mom was away for the week and that the grandparents could not refuse that?

This is going to come up any day now and I 'd like to be prepared. She's going to try and tell me that  I had no right to have them every evening but that I needed to stick to the original parenting plan. That means that I would only have them Monday and Wednesday.

BTW - I let the grandparents have them Wed. evening to prevent any kind of scene because the grand dad thinks that since he and his wife were the care takers that he could deny me seeing my boys. We had a disagreement in the definition of right of first refusal of course. Why they would even argue this is beyond me.

 

Copyright © SPARC - A Parenting Advocacy Group
Use of this website does not constitute a client/attorney relationship and this site does not provide legal advice.
If you need legal assistance for divorce, child custody, or child support issues, seek advice from a divorce lawyer.