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Father's need of some help / advise

Started by Destiny_s_Dragon, Aug 01, 2008, 04:28:18 PM

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Destiny_s_Dragon

Hello everyone,

My name is Destiny and I am writting here because my fiancee is having issues with his ex-wife.  He has a daughter with his ex who lived in NC.  They divorced in 2005.  In his divorce decree it states that he has visitation rights every other weekend and holidays that rotate every other year.  Example one year he gets her for Christmast the next no, the next yes... etc.  

Well my fiancee moved from NC to IL in 2006 to live with me and my family.  She was aware of this prior to him moving away and they agreed that he would continue to pick-up his daughter for the scheduled holidays.  And would keep in touch via phone regularly.  He has done with no problems through last summer.  

Since then he's been in touch and in February something changed in her life.  Not sure on the details because she stopped taking his calls, but she had gotten married early last year and was living with her husband.  Something happened with her relationship and started to take it out on my fiancee.  She changed her phone number and told her whole family not to take his calls and not to but in her business.  

He had tried calling for days clueless as to the phone being disconnected.  She had not picked up the UPS package with his daughters birthday presents and after many attempts, it was returned and he felt something was wrong.  He tried calling her and all her family that he knew their number to see if they were ok or if something happened.  No one responded.  All he got was voicemails or no answer.

After much searching, he got a hold of her new cell number and called.  No answer.  He found through a mutual friend that she had changed her number on purpose and is ignoring him on purpose.  She had moved to an alternate address and had given her family members intructions on not speaking to him and giving him any information at all.

My fiancee has tried desperately to call, E-mail and post messages to her and nothing.  He was suppose to pick her up in Spring break and couldn't go because she would not answer.  He was scheduled to pick her up in the summer and couldn't go becase she would not anser.  He is sad and depressed and doesn't know what to do.

We don't have that much money and he can't go there as he's had a hard time with work.  He's been working on and off since his arrival here.  He feels that she is doing this becuase the child support checks on not getting to her on a regular basis.  But that isn't becuase he is doing it on purpose.  He's been trying to find a job in his field (Cost Center Customer Service for mortgages).   It isn't easy her in IL as there are not that many call centers here in that field.

But now he found a job that he's had for over 3 months that looks to be a good fit and he anticipates being there a long time.  He started out as a temp and is now hired as a permanent employee.  He can't take time off to try and find her to see what he can do about seeing his daughter.  

Today, he had a talk with his HR about a court order that arrived that stated his child support was going higher from $500 to about $850.  But he had not knowledge that this was going to take place.   This is more than half of his monthly overall pay.  It seems that she moved to NYC as the information to HR came from Long Island.

He is sad and depressed and doesn't know what to do.  He hasn't seen her since last June and doesn't know what his legal rights are in this case.

I hate seeing him feeling so helpless and I want to help him be able to see his daughter.  We are willing to fight for custody too, but don't know honestly where to begin.  

Please help us with any advice on this situation.

Thank you for your time,

Destiny

ocean

Do you know what town he is in on Long Island? Are the kids school age? You can look up the school district and see where they are going to school then get in touch with them for information and talk to the social worker.

Destiny_s_Dragon

That is the odd part.  His daughter is supposedly in NC with the mom, but looks like the mom may be moving to Long Island.  It's the only explanation we can think of as to why the paperwork is coming from a Long Island location.  But what we are wondering is why the paperwork is being sent to my fiancee's parents house (they live in Long Island) as oppose to him here in IL?  

Is there another reason it would be coming from there?  Don't know what school she is registered to start in.  Not sure how to go about finding out?

*Destiny*

ocean

What town does it say for Long Island? Are you sure it is NY? We do not put Long Island on our mailing addresses.

NY has child support to 21 so they may try to get it switched here. Have you ever had child support done in any other court? If so, then you can ask for it NOT to be changed. NY child support has a toll free number you can call (sometimes they do not know what they are doing but ask to talk to a superviser). They would need to live here for 6 months in order to ask for the change. Maybe they did move or just using parent's address to say they were there. Can you prove that they have been on NC for the last few months?