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A child's life about to be turned upside down....

Started by Amy, Jan 14, 2004, 10:28:55 AM

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Amy

I have never used this before.. never thought that we would be in a situation like this.  Let me start from the beginning... 3 years ago my fiance's son's mom left him our little angel with us.. but failed to tell us she wasn't coming back.  A few days later her phone was disconnected and we heard through the grape vine that she had moved.  We proceeded to file for custody of our angel and found an address she was staying at and served her with papers.  We had already had an attorney because of the concerns dealing with her parenting but she just made our case a whole lot stronger by leaving on her own.  She never showed up to any of the hearings and my fiance was granted custody and her right to visitation was terminated until she went to court.  Anyways.. She's been gone for 3 years and also signed over custody of her other children to their father.  For some reason she has taken us to court now and she is going to win.  The Guardian ad lidem decided it would be in the child's best interest for his mother to regain full custody of him and his father get SUPERVISED (I was under the impresstion they only did this in VERY rare circumstances and only with abuse, neglect or drug abuse) visitation one day per week.  She is the one who in 3 different custody cases has been proven to be abusive and have emotional and anger problems.. not the father.  This makes no sense.  There is no abuse, neglect, maltreatment, or any type of problems what so ever in my angel's home.  I do not live with them at this time but am over there quite regularly and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to remove him from his home.  He has not seen her or had contact with her since he was 4 years old.  He is now involved in sports, school, church, daycare, he has friends and routines.. and they want to take that all away from him for no reason other than "it's in his best interest"  I can't believe what the system is doing to my angel and I'm wondering if anyone out there knows where we can turn to stop this from proceeding.  Or delay it or ANYTHING.  She has lied through her teeth for the last 8 months and the county has bought every word she's uttered.  How do we show that these are lies?  What can we do?  Anyone?

MKx2

Do you have an attorney?  If you don't stop reading this NOW and go get one.

I can't believe that the status quo of a thriving child would be changed after that length of time.

There's something wrong with this whole story.

Amy

We have the same attorney we used last time.  He is completely baffled by this and was blindsided when we heard their recommendations on Monday.  We were certain that in no way would they every remove him from his home.  We knew she was lying.  She always does and always has.  But we have never said one bad word about her in front of our boy, we have never made her a bad guy, we have never hit him, done drugs in front of him, we have never done anything wrong.  Even before she left him we had him 20 days out of the month because she was "busy".  We've never complained and never lied.  We did everything by the book and completely honest.  And now feel as though that wasn't the right way to do it because everything in our world and our angel's world is in danger.  I just found this site this morning and I'm wondering if anyone can point me in any sort of direction for help.  I feel so helpless and they said it would be about 2-3 weeks before the hearing.  So we don't have any time to lose.  

Kitty C.

Can you contact the father of her other children?  Is she going after them as well?  And remember one thing, if you feel that your atty. isn't being as aggressive on this as you think he should, tell him, or fire him and get another who will be.

This child is depending on you and his father to protect him.  If the court is using 'best interest' as a guideline, your atty. needs to be asking the court if it's in the child's best interest to uproot him from the only stability he's ever know, from a home where he is growing AND thriving, to send him back to a parent who has already proven her irresponsibility and instability as a parent.

All I can say is this is heartbreaking and NEVER give up the fight!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

sweetnsad

I agree that there is something missing from this story...I mean, come on now...if she abandoned the child for THREE years and gave up custody of her other children, how can she just "come back" and reclaim this child and now the FATHER gets supervised visits once a week?????  Based on what exactly??  Doesn't make sense...(shaking head)..

Something is terribly wrong with either this story or the justice system where you live...

Indigo Mom

You need to talk to a few other attorneys about aggression...that which your attorney doesn't have.  You need a bull dog to fight this one.  

GAL reports are HEAVILY relied on by the Judges.  If you don't get someone with huge balls retained real quick, this little boy is going to be removed and placed with a parent who bailed on him 3 years ago.  This isn't right.  You need a big bad a** that isn't scared to rip a GAL apart.

I think you may want to contact your Bar Association.  GAL's are lawyers, so they'd be found there.  Find out if there are any grievances filed against this one and why.  If not...FILE ONE NOW!  This can't be happening.  Removing a child from his parent, his ONLY parent for 3 years and then demanding his only parent have supervised visitation while he lives with someone he doesn't know?  Egads!!!!

This is really sad.  

Amy

The other children's father and his parents are letting her stay at their home 3 days a week to babysit the other kids now and they are paying her attorney's fees.  They have said that she has completely changed and that now we are horrible parents.  It is such a crazy story I can't even believe that it's true or happening.  But they will not take our angel away.  If she has changed she can have visitation.. but to change his whole world is completely unrational.  

Thank you for the positive feedback.  Everyone I have spoken to and everyone who knows this case is on our side.. the problem is getting the courts to be back on our side.  

I am praying that this works out for our boy.  He doesn't deserve to be put in anymore pain than he's already been through.

Amy

We did find out through one of her old friends that part of the story they are using is that there is drug use in front of our boy in our home.  They have done many drug tests and evaluations and nothing has been found.  These allegations are completely false, but for some reason the GAL's are using them anyways.  I do believe we need a new lawyer, but how do we get one and get them to know the whole story in less than 2 weeks?  I'm scared that it could turn around and hurt us in the long run.  Then again, we don't have much to lose at this point.  Our other problem is the money is almost gone.  All of our family has spent everything they can spare and we have nothing but maxed out credit cards and more debt than I care think about right now.. we'll do anything we have to .. but our resources are running so low now and we have to make sure that we can maintain our angel's life the way he knows it....

sweetnsad

Get a new lawyer and tell it all, as it is...that's their job.  You really need some help here because that little boy's life is going to be turned topsy turvy in a very short time.  

Good luck hon...I hope this all works out and the judge presiding over the case is fair and can see right through this.

Indigo Mom

It's great that the mom has "changed" and wants to be a mom after abandoning her child 3 years ago.  Even you can admit it would be best for the child.  BUT...she can't just swoop in and take him from the only parent he's had!  She should be willing to do supervised visitation herself, and increasing parenting time when it's appropriate.  If she's not willing to ease herself into the childs life...then she hasn't changed, now has she????

Boy, drugs and bogus GAL's...do I know about these.  I've got some horror stories about both of them which, when looking back, make me laugh my behind off!  At the time, of course, they weren't funny at all.  I was accused of doing "hard core" drugs in front of my son, who wasn't even in my home...and all I was doing was eating a fricken Taco Bell burrito!!!!!  DEA came busting through my door while I was at work because monster, who's the damned drug addict, was mad that I was sitting on the same couch as another man!  Months after I left him!!!!!  (oh, forgot to mention, monster got into my home without permission) I have a GAL report that is so full of lies and deception even a politician would be proud!!!  Sheesh...don't get me started!!!!

You've got to get that GAL report scratched from the record....man, this is just wrong.  You need to get a new lawyer, no matter what...and then request a continuance while he/she figures this mess out.