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50/50 Parenting Plan??

Started by gas, May 27, 2004, 09:58:14 PM

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gas

I have requested the court to modify existing parenting plan to 50/50 with kids to have equal time with both parents. San Diego court will be hearing our case June 15.  Last FCS was 2 yrs ago when boys were 2 and 4.

1. Ex wife and I live in San Diego, homes are 5 blocks apart, about a 5 min. walk or 2 minute drive. We are both 5 minutes from pre-school, kindergarten, doctors, everything else in our sons' "world".

2. We have two sons, ages 4 and 6 yrs., joint custody legal and physical custody with Mom at 70% and I am at 30%.

3. Both of us are very loving, caring, responsible parents with a good co-parenting relationship. There are no real "negatives" that could be attached to our parenting capabilities or character.

4. I have made significant sacrifices, personally and financially so that I could maximize my time with our sons. I have rejected career opportunities that would double my income because it would require extensive business travel or relocation.

5. I have detailed visitation logs to support my heavy involvement with my sons, including doctor appointments, volunteering at school, taking to/from school, speech therapy, attending t-ball games, swim lessons, etc. Logs demonstrate I have upheld my 30% visitation.

6. Both sons are very well adjusted, happy, healthy with close bonds to both parents.

7. Mother and I both travel on business but have always had the flexibility to work it around when we don't have the boys. 1-2 days/week on average is our business travel (each).

8. My atty advised me to request a parenting plan that has Mother with the boys Monday/Tuesday, I would have them Wed/Thursday and we would alternate every w/e (Fri-Sunday) for a 50/50 split. Atty mentioned that this schedule is what the court has been recommending when granting 50/50 custody

9. My work could accomodate the above plan but also can accomodate a "week on/week off" if that is what the court prefers. I have read that in the case of small children courts typically do not like the kids going an entire week without seeing the other parent.

10. San Diego Courts assign an FCS mediator that interviews both parents for about 20 minutes each, then prepares a recommendation for the judge. The judge almost always rubber stamps the recommendation.

11. These are the pertinent facts, I would be interested in hearing your take on what my chances are for getting the 50/50....and if not 50/50 what the outcome is most likely to be. Also anything specific I should provide the mediator (in addition to the detailed logs) that would help.

gas

PeanutsDad/All, pls weigh in here...thx

Peanutsdad

It sounds as if your documentation is in order. The plan looks good. The kicker here,, is there is no way of predicting how the judge will rule.

On that aspect, its always a crap shoot. Aside from that,, just based on this , I'd say your chances are good.

gas

Thanks for the input.  From previous experience with this court, FCS has all the power....judge rubber stamps it if it looks reasonable.  Given both parents have proven to be competent, responsible and involved...seems to be this comes down to whether a court feels it's best for two young kids to have max time with both parents or better for them to have one primary home, one secondary.   I have heard California is very pro 50/50 parenting-IF both parents are solid.  We'll see how supportive San Diego is.............of this concept.

Peanutsdad

I think another factor that will weigh in,, is how much fuss your ex makes. Others may correct me on this,, but I notice a tendency NOT to award a 50/50 plan if the parents cant work together.

gas

I think that is a critical factor...and one I don't know how to control.  We have an excellent relationship but given the stakes she's not stupid....she can say whatever she wants and not much a Daddy can do about it...it's he said vs. she said and all that does is convince the FCS mediator there really IS conflict!

dcurtain

My experience with the 50/50 plan is this: I share my 2 children 50/50 on a week ok week off basis. We flip every Wednesday to break up the week. We've been doing it for about 8 months and the kids have adjusted well to the schedule.

gas

dcurtain, thanks for the input.  Did you ex agree to the 50/50 or did you have to go to court?  What was your previous % split   Cheers,

Yngsmommy

we are in SD as well.. and actually just recieved 85% custody (all school time, half of Christmas 2 weeks for summer and every other weekend, with BM recieving off school time (with us having every other weekend)...

We actually started with primary and we were willing to do 50.50 if BM would go regularily to therapy and participate in child care...she doesnt.

Honestly I think SD is VERY pro 50/50 and you have a great chance.

If you want any other info about our case (who our mediator was, our lawyer, etc) email me at [email protected].