A few questions from Virginia

[lookinnomore]

ok, here is the condensed version.  I live with a man in Virginia we have had custody of his 2 boys for the last 4 years.  His x now wants custody back, stating her home is "more suitable".

We have hired a lawyer, OUCH,

1.  Has anyone ever done discovery?  It will cost us an additional 1500 bucks to have it done, hate to sound cheap but come on 5 kids, I am cheap.  Has anyone found it to be beneficial?  And can anyone explain in layman terms what it is?

2.  She asked for a guardian ad litem to represent the boys.  I thought that was if they were abused or neglected.  What exactly does she/he do?

3.  What can I expect out of a home study?  She requested that too.

[Peanutsdad]

Tips For Getting Started
http://www.deltabravo.net/news/10-19-2000.htm

How To Hire An Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/hiring.htm

Hiring An Effective Attorney
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/effective.htm

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tips.htm

http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/missed-visit.htm

Suggestions When Falsely Accused
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/falseacc1.htm

Dealing With Threats Of False Allegations
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/blackmail.htm

URL: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/guide.htm


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/pplan3.htm


For Move aways: ( Thanx Brent!!)

One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/acronyms.htm

[Stepmomnow]

In layman's terms, discovery is where you collect evidence for a trial.  It will involve finding "admissable" evidence, which are facts that you can prove beyond the "he say, she said" types of evidence.  Without evidence, at trial you have nothing.

There are four kinds of discovery, interrogatories, (asking questions they have to answer in writing under oath), Depositions (asking questions in person they have to answer under oath) Document Production (asking them to give you all the documents they have that pertain to a certain issue).  The final type of discovery is Request for Admissions, which is asking them to admit something (not used too much).

If the other side has an attorney, you definately need to have your attorney do the discovery.  The questions and issues are framed in such a way that the layperson can really get themselves in trouble.  Even if the other side is pro per, I would suggest you let your attorney hadle the discovery, or you will be hampering his effectiveness at trial.

[lookinnomore]

we do have an attorney, he neither suggested that we do or don't do it.  She also has an attorney, I just wonder if it is something we should invest the money in to do.  Is it worth while? the extra money

[KAT]

I'd have it done. Where has bio been? What has she been doing? Has she been arrested? Bankrupt? The VA judge in Mr. KAT's case said it was time that the kids bonded with their Mommy. That she needed a chance to raise her kids (though she never gave up a dime of support, loaf of bread or a gallon of milk...good Mommy, let's reward her!). Fast forward good Mommy has bonded with them all the way to 8th grade educations & criminal records. Good Mommy! YUP! Damn bias Virginia. We need to remove Warner, he knows nothing of joint parenting, child support, false abuse allegations or parental rights.
If this is being heard in VAB I can tell you of one GAL to stay away from. She's currently on my removal list. I'll be watching her during another trail that will be coming up soon. The GAL's in VA are lawyers that are paid a minimal amount by the state.
It sounds to me like you might be questioning the lawyer that you have. If that is the case, if you feel he/she is wishy-washy then fire him & find someone more aggressive!!!!! Even if more expensive it will probably save you money during the long haul!! The poor lawyers just waste your money on stupid stuff, the aggressive ones work to make the other party cave...chew em' up & spit them out.
Has he been to mediation yet? I bet that was fun!
KAT

[lookinnomore]

mom gave dad custody because she financially couldn't afford to support them, after dad proved 2 of the 4 weren't even his.  We have had custody since May 14,01 (mothers day weekend).

Mom and dad did file bakrupt together, she has never been arrested to my knowledge, although she has a deep mental background but this is no longer admissable in Va courts go figure!

I have heard va. is bias to mothers and that is her whole case is she is financially more stable now and her house is more "stable".

I like the lawyer, although, he doesn't promote doing the discovery, says its expensive and hes never seen it benefit a case before.  He will do it if we want to.

Mediation was cancelled after the mediation lady talked to the mother, said it was pointless to try it.

Now tonight the mother is demanding pickup of the oldest who is refusing to go.  The way I read the motion to ammend custody there was no child visitation given.  So what do we do? How do you force a 13 year old to go when he doesn't want to?

[FleetingMoment]

You're not married. He's just your live-in. Why are you concerned about how much its going to cost? That is his problem, not yours.

GAL's are not for abused or neglected children. They are there to represent the best interests of the children stuck in the middle custody battles. Both the GAL and the homestudy will help the court determine which type of custody arrangement will work in the best interest of the children.

[lookinnomore]

no we are not married, we both come from failed marriages and are in no big hurry after 6 years of living together to do it again.  As to why I am concerned about what it costs is we are a family and whatever it costs comes out of OUR household.  Don't be silly!

[Stepmom0418]

Look around on the other boards and you will see what kind of advise the above person is giving..........Then take it for what its worth!!!

[FleetingMoment]

I wasn't trying to be silly. Nor was I giving you advice. Just curious why you would want to worry about costs. I've seen too many, women especially, give their everything and a divorced man with children while they live together. I've listened to these same women cry and wonder what happened, "after everything I did for him.... or we're so broke now... and he won't even work a second job."

Six years of living together as a family is a long time and plenty of time to get over the bad feelings of your past divorces. Not that that piece of paper will really matter, but you shouldn't fear it any longer either.

[lookinnomore]

Sounded not only silly but stupid, I see your postings on here and they are neither friendly or helpful. While I give eveything to this divorced man and his children understand he gives everything to this divorced woman and her children 3 girls.

We don't have to be married to be in the best interest of his children.  I don't fear marriage, but, I don't plan on making more babies so why do I need to get married.  I didn't put a question mark cause I don't really want YOU to answer the question.

[Stepmom0418]

LOL!!! I have been waiting for you to reply!! Well said!!

In fact very well said!!!!!!!!!

[FleetingMoment]

You're either cheap or you're generous. Which is it? There's no inexpensive way around custody fights.

Sounds like his ex is in a good position to get their two back. And when that happens how much of everything do you think he's going to want to keep giving your three? How much more do you think you're going to sacrifice helping him give everything to her in child support. Notice no question mark there either.

Hmmm. On the other hand, there could be a lot more disposable income in your household minus two kids. How negative could it be no longer having to contribute the child support from your ex to your kids. Oh, wait, let me guess. He's a deadbeat of sorts, right? He's doesn't care about your kids, and your live-in is a much better Daddy than your ex will ever be.

I wasn't aware the only reason people marry is to have children. I thought marriage was more sacred than that. I thought children lived by examples set before them. But hey, it's your choice. Silly, Stupid, Me :(

[lookinnomore]

I am neither cheap or generous, you get what you give in this world and I am reaping the benefits every day of what I give.  I am a stay home mom of 5 wonderful kids.  With 5 kids, you learn ways to do everything inexpesively.

His ex has a slim to no chance of getting these boys back.  The x can't even get the oldest to visit on a regualar basis, and we have had these boys in our "un married" home for going on 5 years.  The children that she has in her home which she tried to prove were his when they weren't  are flunking out of school, undisciplined, and dirty.  Any judge that would take these boys from us would be as supid and silly as you.  I have faith in the judicial system that they will see her (the x) for exactly what she is without naming names.

Disposbale income, minus two kids.  You are a sick twisted MF.  As for the child support from my x, he doesn't pay any.  He lives in Kentucky and doesn't work and pays NOTHING.  The man I live with supports my three children, although he will never be or want to be DADDY!  He is a wonderful man figure though, I was lucky, so kids grow up with no good male role model.  Is thats whats wrong with you?  

I would bet you have never been married and never had children.  Why are you on here anyways?

[FleetingMoment]

>Disposbale income, minus two kids.  You are a sick twisted MF.
> As for the child support from my x, he doesn't pay any.  He
>lives in Kentucky and doesn't work and pays NOTHING.  The man
>I live with supports my three children, although he will never
>be or want to be DADDY!  He is a wonderful man figure though,
>I was lucky, so kids grow up with no good male role model.  Is
>thats whats wrong with you?  

So I was right. Your ex doesn't pay a dime, you don't work and your live-in supports your kids, yet he never will or want to be their Daddy? Your kids would not have turned out ok with you being a single, working mom? That's can happens when a woman feels she can't live without a man and take care of her own. That's pretty strange. I suppose it works for him too, as long as he has his kids and his own mother isn't around, he needs a mother to take care both himself and his children.


>I would bet you have never been married and never had
>children.  Why are you on here anyways?

Any monetary figure in that bet? You lose. Married, divorced, a couple of kids tucked in safely, prayers said. A fiance with two children of his own. Idiotic biodad (my kidlets), troublesome biomom (his kidlets). Lots of reasons for me to be here. A wealth of information.

[nosonew]

No, I think she has kids, or at least one.  She just got dumped.  He probably figured her out.  Think about it...with an attitude like she has, who is going to stay with her?  Every post I read from her I just laugh...and feel sorry for her child(ren).  Wait, I bet they live with their better half! Their dad!  Hmmm, maybe that is why she is on here harassing us!

Fleeting, you never answered my post I directed to you....must have hit you where it hurt!

[FleetingMoment]

True. Very well said and quite a bit more than I've seen you contribute to date. The kind we call an audience. Just sit in the corridors, slap your knees, guffaw. An easy pushover. That's entertainment! Visual: HeeHaw :+.

[FleetingMoment]

The nearest psych hospital had a sign posted, "No vacancies." From the Fifth Floor peered an eerily laughing woman from Kansas... nosonew meticulously cross-stitched on her forehead.

eom.

[MYSONSDAD]

You posted on these boards a few months back under "DUMBO"

I beleive you posted on Socs board, one post and went off to never never land, where you belong...

So, you make frequent visits to the psych ward, why am I not surprised?

[FleetingMoment]

I have no clue what you think you've got,  what poster you think I might be. If you want to waste time on that, be my guest, but I can assure you I've never posted here under any other handle.

Go ahead and email the moderators. They may verify for you that you're wrong in your assumptions.

Neither am I surprised that anyone will call a normal person with differing views here, a psycho. I've seen postings on various boards. When NCP's run out of truly legitimate reasons to obtain custody, they begin to look into character defamation or hide behind children's rights.

"My ex is crazy. She just had a baby. Could it be post partum depression? She sounds just like Susan Smith to be. I've got to get my kids away. Can I win custody if I say she's nuts?"

I've never seen the inside of a psych ward in my lifetime. nosonew invited me to stop by. I guess she needs company? Someone to stand by her side and hurl insults. I would try to get her released but, please don't hold me responsible, should you end up filling her vacancy in the internet psych ward... where in their "right minds"  anyone can lock up anyone they please. Now that's nevernever land.

~~Wendy

[lookinnomore]

I was divorced years ago, from a dead beat abusive man.  I received a college degree and worked for years.  I didn't quit working until his x dropped their kids off on our door step on mothers day weekend 5 years ago.  It seemed impossible to pay for child care for 5 kids when no one was paying child support to us!  I was a single working mother for years before I moved in here.  I view this as a second chance at a family.  My kids don't want him to be a daddy, as much as the dead beat doesn't pay child support, my girls see their father as often as they want! You do an awful lot of assuming, and we all know what that makes you!

I am not surprised that you have been married and divorced and all alone now.  I am sure your kids see you for the sick-o that you are. A fiance, is that your way of saying he isn't ready to get married.  Stand tall baby, marriage is only a piece of paper.  As for the troublesome biomom, I am sure when she gets a load of you his problems with biomom will only get WORSE.

Find another board! YOUR hated here, GO AWAY!

[MYSONSDAD]

What I do have is a photographic memory. Dumbo had the same sarcasim and negative attitude. Along with your little clown icon.

What matters is the integrity of these boards. What conflict we have has nothing to do with why people come here. You are delibertly trying to attack members here and chase away new comers. This is wrong no matter how you slice it.

Everyone has a difference of opinon. But doing it in a sarcastic, nasty, way will not benefit anyone.

If your purpose here is to destroy the integrity of Sparc and it's purpose, you will be the one sadly mistaken. Won't happen.

And if you think we are hiding behind 'Childrens Rights', you could not be further from the truth.

The entire purpose of these boards is the Children.

Some people just don't 'get it'  

I won't be replacing any one in a psych ward, too strong for that and my child is my first priority.

You, one the other hand, must have been thru quite an ordeal to have so much bitterness wrapped up inside...

[FleetingMoment]

Wow, you are bitter.  Impossible to pay child care for 5 kids when "no one was paying child support to you two?" Welcome to reality. Welcome to a world where billions of custodial parents live, work, and survive without child support. How can that be when he had to pay for 2 and you had to pay for 3? Doesn't make sense for you to give up your job security to save money on his child care...  5 kids, 5 years later. Hasn't the daycare cost gone down enough for you yet to return to work and earn the 1500 you now need for court evaluations, or worse yet, to help pay her child support once again. Or is that what is bugging you out. That you might possibly lose your SAHM status. Jeeze Loueeze. The poor man can't keep supporting the whole lot of you forever.

Second chance at a family? I'm not understanding this in this least. You mean to say your children had no first chance as a family, with just yourself raising them? Were you all four such an intact family without a man to warm the sheets? What makes a family complete? It's apparent your children don't see your views for a second chance as family or his own kids as anything but taking away from themselves. They want their own father. But too bad, heh, kids?

Hate to pop your bubble, truly, I do. But, I'm neither alone or lonely, in the least. I have wonderful, intelligent, healthy, loving children. A fiance who, like myself, remains financially independent and supportive of his own lot, and would never dream of mooching off myself.

The problems with the biomom have nothing to do with me :) It's the petty, petty little nuances that she and my fiance bicker over. The biomom and myself are in fact, the best of friends, as she knows I'm not neither a leech nor a provider for my fiance. She calls me often for help... and she gets it :)

As for my own ex? Just like yours, sweetie. A dramatic deadbeat.

A marriage license is just a piece of paper, yes I know. It's not that you don't want more children. It's that you have five children living in your household who are likely going to grow up producing children out of wedlock, and believing its ok. They're not my morals :(

[Kitty C.]

'It's that you have five children living in your household who are likely going to grow up producing children out of wedlock, and believing its ok. They're not my morals....'
 
You cracked me up on that one!  REALLY!!!!!!  You can sit there on YOUR pedestal, with your broken marriage and children who've suffered thru a divorce, and say they're not YOUR morals????  What a hoot!!!!!!

This would be downright hilarious.....if it weren't so sad, for the fact that you are so delusional as to believe everything you say is gospel.........

[lookinnomore]

You are so dumb, I have never paid child support for my children they have always lived with me.  Which side are you on here dumb ass, when you thought I was supporting him and his kids, that was bad, now your on the other side upset he is supporting me and mine!  We think its better to have someone at home for these 5 children to come home to after school than to come home alone as teenagers and get into who knows what.  I think you don't know if you are coming or going.  I think your here to argue no matter what the problem is, you take the defensive.  Not worried to pay the 1500 for the evaluation if someone thinks it will be worth it stupid.  Was looking for advice from someone elses experience doing it.  I dont' think you understand what this board is for.  I think your aggressive and argumentative and thats it.  

I doesn't surprise me that you don't understand anything.  If I need to explain it, I am wasting my time so I won't bother.  Kids who are raised by two parents even if they aren't biological, they tend to turn out to be strong adults.  I already told you my kids see the dead beat as often as they choose.  You are appearing more and more stupid everytime you speak.

For the record, none of these 5 children in my house were born out of wedlock.  

Enjoy your life you are crazy bitter and DUMB!  This is my last response to you, if the people on this board were smart they would stop responding to you as well! YOU NEED HELP serious HELP

[FleetingMoment]

Or a figment of your imagination? Not my clown icon. It's a beneficial courtesy of SPARC's smilie table. When a smilie fits, use it.

I have not once attacked the integrity of this board. Nor do I intend to. It's a fantastic site, I know quite a bit about its history and its founder. I  still have quite a bit of exploring to do. Some answers I may be looking for are in Custody, others in Father's Rights, still others in Stepfamilies.

Blunt and straightforward are not sarcasm, nor nasty. There's a tendency for others to get defensive when others tell them what they think or see straight up and out.

What I see here so far is an unusally high number of posters ragging on the "mental status" of their ex spouses.  I don't get it. How could all these spouses be so obviously nuts, yet, no one saw it coming when they married them or had children with them?

You've got cases of parents who gave up their children when they were very young. Parents who needed to grow up, parents who felt pressured to give custody to the other for financial reasons, parents who were once stay at home parents and victims of DV and spouses that controlled everything including finances. Now that they're free of all these obstacles and can very well share in the parenting and future of their children... why shouldn't they be able to. If and when the courts confirm through evaluations of all sorts, that these once estranged parents should now have at least shared custody of the children... it appears that most of the custodial parents become selfish. No way! they say.

You've got cases of parents who are "supposed" to share decision-making. Pooh pah, they tell themselves. If I want to take my kid to a counselor, I'm gonna. If I want to get them braces I'm gonna. If I want to enroll them in every which what sport or activity they want despite the fact that it interferes with his/her parenting time, I'm gonna. Then I'm gonna complain that their father/mother refuses to participate.

I read things like these, and yes, you're right I do want to smack them upside the head. Wake up! This is truly hurting the children. Of course smacking the air isn't going to work. There is no way to speak the truth without sounding harsh.

You know what? I don't believe you belong in a psycho ward any more than I do. But I can understand your defensiveness. Just rest assured, my intentions are not to destroy the integrity of SPARC. No way, no how.

[Kitty C.]

'#3133, "RE: A Little Input"
In response to In response to 0


           Yep. Leave out discussion boards such as these. Too many internet trolls that bounce in and out of SPARC, Divorcesource and Divorcenet with nothing better to do. If your site proves worthwhile, you can bet they will destroy its credibility in zero download time flat.

Every Moment Counts. Don't Let it Get Away.

 
~~~~~~~~~~~~

The thing is, what you consider blunt and straightforward is being viewed by everyone responding to you as sarcastic and nasty.  Even I would have a clue by the first few responses.  If I thought I was being 'blunt', but someone took offense to it, obviously I didn't say with the intentions I meant, and I have to change my 'style', so as not to offend anyone.  Offending one or two is one thing, but if EVERY response to my posts were antagonistic, it's time for me to look in the mirror.   There ARE ways of getting even a conflicting point across without pissing everyone off.  I suggest you find it.  You may very well have valid points, but I (for one) wouldn't give you the time of day on them.  Not combined with the 'holier than thou' attitude you deliver with it right now.

Yes the truth does hurt.  That may not be how you want to be perceived, but that's certainly how you are portraying yourself.  And  throwing out your credibility along with it.  So if you still want to make your point, I suggest you do it in a way that won't offend EVERYONE (there will always be those few who you can never please).

[joni]

FM, I have a problem with people who are rude, disrespectful, malicious and vindictive and hide behind the guise of "honesty" to rationalize their actions.  "I was just being honest" is as lame as "don't take it personally, it's just business".  

There are better ways to present the other side of the fence without being disrespectful about it.  There's nothing wrong with presenting an unpopular opinion, I've done it more than once.  

FM, take a moment and read all of your posts on this board and you'd have to admit that you often drew first blood and didn't act with the least bit of integrity.  Ergo, you've tainted yourself.....your righteous self.

[FleetingMoment]

I can't believe you would get yourself into a tizzy over that comment. I meant exactly what I said.  If one can have an informative site going that's aiming to be successful, discussion forums should be left out.  

Instead the site owner should have a selection of different people, volunteers perhaps, professionals preferred, with a lot expertise in specific areas. Questions and pleas for assistance can be answered by them through email.

Discussion forums are often full of well meaning people either giving the wrong advice or looking at it from their own side as either the CP or NCP. Bad enough to deal with that (as you have expressed to me already), then to have to deal with trolls.

Because I speak against trolls, make me a troll? Well, whatever. Like you said I can't please everyone, but again, I'm not here to please anyone.

[FleetingMoment]

>
>FM, I have a problem with people who are rude, disrespectful,
>malicious and vindictive and hide behind the guise of
>"honesty" to rationalize their actions.  "I was just being
>honest" is as lame as "don't take it personally, it's just
>business".  

I posted to only three individuals. One was a valid suggestion. The other two I felt had a bit more to their story than what they were saying. Sometimes something provocative will bring out the be(a)st in them, and along with it true motives and stories.

Rude? Maybe. Depends on the reader. Disrepectful? If someone doesn't deserve respect or sympathy, why be a hypocrite about it. Malicious?  Vindictive? Not from me. Disgusted is a better choice. To me, Jerry painted a picture of himself as a man who fathered three different children with three different mothers. Yet he's the perfect father. I predict it won't be long before he has  a probem with his third child. He really should have that vasectomy.

The lady from Virginia portrayed herself as type who's fine and dandy with her live-in taking care of her, until the threat of money came along. Is this about his kids or is this about money? She's entirely capable of earning wages and pitching in now. She has her college degree, all the kids are five years older now. Instead she's wondering how "they" could get through a custody battle on the cheap.

Will someone at least repeat to her, there are no cheap custody battles??!?!? That they have two choices now. For her to get a job and supplement the household while he fights the custody challenges... "or" ... give the mother of the children the benefit of the doubt and let her the boys. But don't complain.

[lookinnomore]

You are some what confused as to what I was asking.  I simply asked if anyone else had ever paid for this and found it to be benefical.  Our lawyer didn't advise doing it as its costly and he had never seen it be benefical.  We were not trying to be cheap, just cost effective.  You are turning a question into something else.

Second these children do NOT want to live with their mother.  I oldest child is 13; and can remember what it was like to live with her and doesn't visit half the time much less want to live with her.

Getting a job and supplemeneting the household means leaving 5 kids home alone after school and that is not in the children's best interest.  Its not as cut and dry you would choose to make it in your glass house.

[FleetingMoment]

YOUR QUESTIONS:
1. Has anyone ever done discovery? It will cost us an additional 1500 bucks to have it done, hate to sound cheap but come on 5 kids, I am cheap. Has anyone found it to be beneficial? And can anyone explain in layman terms what it is?

2. She asked for a guardian ad litem to represent the boys. I thought that was if they were abused or neglected. What exactly does she/he do?

3. What can I expect out of a home study? She requested that too.

MY RESPONSE:
GAL's are not for abused or neglected children. They are there to represent the best interests of the children stuck in the middle custody battles. Both the GAL and the homestudy will help the court determine which type of custody arrangement will work in the best interest of the children.

I'm sorry, but if my response sounds like I was confused as to what you were asking, I need you to point out what the confusing part is.

ADDENDUM:
Is it beneficial? In your live-in's case it could very well be, considering what you say about the 13 year old. A GAL might listen to him. A homestudy on the opposite hand might confirm her current living situation might be better than your own. More bedrooms, cleaner, better schools and recreation, etc.  

Your lawyer may not feel its beneficial or worth the expense, however, if the BM makes the request to the court, and the judge agrees the GAL and homestudy are necessary, there is no choice in the matter. It must be done and paid for.

I was not confused, just took note of your "additional comments" referring to the costs, and feeling cheap about it.

Now, lets get to the after school care. 5 kids... already one is mentioned as being 13, and won't be needing it. How old are the rest of them? Do their schools have an after school program that offers discounted rates?

And what about working part time while they're in school? You consider him your common-law husband, you consider the family yours together, you want to keep the family intact. You didn't ask for this happen, but it is. The only way to prevent a possible financial downfall is to bring in extra income -- at least -- until it is over. How much more can you expect your CLDH to work in O/T without taking away more time from his own boys? You HAVE to help.

Glass house? Nope. Solid brick, though I've got windows :)

[lookinnomore]

Bottom line here your for whatever the argument is!  I am not the only person to tell you this.  

For some reason you think a mother who gave up her kids  and decides she want them back should have them.  We were unmarried when she dropped their sad butts off, and we are still un married she should have thought of that then!

Don't need to take in a job while they are in school, he makes plenty of money, and if we have to do discovery he makes plenty for that, I just don't see the point in sinking money into something that is unnecessary!

After school care for a 13 year old is maybe more important than for a 10 year old.  Thats when most kids have sex the first time, do drugs the first time and get into general trouble is when they come home to a house where no one is home. We have a 14 yo, 2 13 yo's, a 12 and an 11 year old.  Send 5 kids home alone, are you STUPID? Or just wanna argue.

It appears from your statements that in general you dislike men.  I don't know why you continue to stay her on this board. Several people have asked you to find someplace else to post your trash.

You know the old saying what comes around goes around.  The more I talk to you the more you remind me of his ex wife, lol--

[FleetingMoment]

First post... concerns about costs, wasting money, being cheap, five kids. Now... he makes "plenty of money." You act like you're talking about plastic surgery, an alternative choice. Custody is nothing to mess with. Either of them wants discovery, a GAL and the homestudy evaluation, they're going to get it, and the money is going to come out the household.  You're not wasting your money as you're not contributing. He's not wasting his money as they're "his kids," and there's no monetary value to be placed on their heads. SHE is wasting YOUR money and YOU are pissed at HER. It appears that you're angry that his ex-wife may have changed for the better, earning a good chance at custody. If so, she should definitely have at least a chance at 50/50 parenting. Children need BOTH their OWN parents. Who are you to interfere with that?

14, 13, 13, 12, 11. They're all going to come home after school together. Is everyone of those preteens a potential black sheep in your eyes? What happened to all these years of raising them right? Please. I come from a family of seven siblings. You can be sure if one of us wasn't doing the right thing, another was ready to let my parents know.
Each one of us had chores, homework, dinner preparation, etc. No one got in trouble. We all went to college, and we're all professionals now.

Stop rolling in excuses. You simply want to ensure that you'll never lose your SAHM position. Period. Just say so. Bottom line is you're out of control and resorting to childish name calling for lack of anything better to say or wasting time looking for a possible motive from myself. And that... is "posting trash."

You're right. What goes around, comes around. Keep up the good work and remember all vindictiveness will come back to bite not only you, but your poor CLDH who wants nothing more than keep his children under his wings. I feel for "him," not you. You have no clue how many meddling SO's ruin the chances for their SO's, by refusing to stick their heads in a hole and keep it there.

[rini]

Hello

What is the change of circumstance that the mom is alleging for the basis of a change of custody?

to change the status quo most state require some sort of change for a modification of custody to even be heard.

as the mother of 3 teens i hear you on the supervision issue after school.

I am really curious as to what her cause of action and reason for the hearing are.  4 years is a really long time to have the kids.  

a home study will not be in her best interest

subpoena the school records for the kids she has living with her that alone should put a cork in it.  

no judge is going to move kids that are prospering and thriving to another location where the custodial parent is obviously failing in her duties already and is only petitioning to increase her wallet..


rini

[Peanutsdad]

What the ip is on this poster. The style and demeanor of posts that fleeting uses is very similar to a poster I banned on my boards.

[FleetingMoment]

I've never been banned from any boards. But if you wish to have the pleasure, just point me in the direction of the board. Then you can ban me. Wouldn't that be cool!!