One of the Club

[NoNicky]

We knew it would happen sooner or later.  What has brought it on actually has us chuckling.  We're being accused of abusing SS.  The alleged abuse took place when we had him this weekend.  We did something truly horrible.  We gave him a choice.  Sit at the table or eat 1 sugar snap pea.  He's on all sorts of vitamins and laxatives daily because he has no vegetables in his diet and gmafh never makes him eat any.  He did eventually eat the pea, he was given ^5's told he did a good job and given hugs.  But gma is insisting on persuing this.  Folks it wasn't even 1 serving.  It was 1 pea.  

We also finally found out all the meds they have this child on and were appalled.  Only one of them has ever actually been studied for use with children.  The rest all say they have not been studied and the manufacturers do not recommend giving them to children because of the risk of serious and permanent side effects.  But of course, we are the abusive ones.  

We've already talked to the GAL and we get the impression he believes gma is a whack job and no one even questions the fact that bm is.  Dh finally told her he was respectfully disagreeing with her and if she so chose to bring on the charges.  This after hearing how cruel and horrible he is and that he is just on a power trip.  Personally  I'm still trying to figure out how making sure a child begins to learn to eat a healthy and appropriate diet is a power trip.  But then again she believes she is the only parent.  She went so far as to tell DH he didn't know what he was talking about because SHE was a parent and SHE had raised children.  Funny I thought the little boy my dh fathered and is trying to have be active in the life of made him a father if the 3 stepchildren he's helping raise didn't.  I guess raising a child to age 17 and having a 12 and 7 year old doesn't qualify me as a parent either.  

Ludicrous.  Simply ludicrous.

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[Indigo Mom]

-----We're being accused of abusing SS. -----
I desspiiiiisssed veggies when I was growing up.  I remember my parents putting ONE pea on my plate.  It rolled all around, it was small and green, it was GROSS.  My parents made me sit there until I had eaten it.  I didn't think the abuse could get any worse...til I did put it in my mouth...course, I left it in my cheek.  My father did the most abusive thing I'd ever known...he squashed my cheeks so I had no choice but to eat the thing.  Oh, just remembering how it felt to have one pea all squished up in my teeth makes me want to vomit.  There's something really sinister about peas. To this day, I can't eat peas.  My parents were SO abusive.  And so are you.  LOL

You are kidding, right?  You're being charged with abuse because you tried to get the child to eat a pea?  Man...if I knew this when I was young, I'd have charged my folks, too!!!!  What a joke.  I can see if you made him eat 50 cans of peas...but one?  Something healthy?  (gack...i refuse to admit there's anything healthy about peas)  Unreal.  What some people stoop to.  

When lil dude came to live with me, we had issues with him eating.  monster never made him eat a thing.  He hadn't eaten fruits, veggies, basically nothing healthy.  It was a struggle.  Know what got my son to eat veggies?  Racing.  I made it a game.  He and I would lower our heads and stare at the other with this "bring it on" look.  Then, we'd each fill our fork with as many veggies as we could fit...and on the count of 3, we started chewing.  The whole time, I'd be giving him "the look"...He always won, of course.  The thrill he got from beating his "ol ma" was great.  The whole "race" ordeal was cool.  He'd antagonize me..."mom, no WAY you're gonna beat me, I'M the champ"...then I'd come back with some flip remark challenging him.  Every once in a while, I still have to resort to "the fight"...but for the most part?  My son is eatin his veggies.  The funniest part?  He doesn't even realize how I manipulated him.  LOL

Oh, my point...I know I have one.  Continue getting this child to eat veggies.  Don't worry about what the bonehead is charging you with.  Chances are, the Judge will ream her a new rump!!!! Nuthin' abusive about it.  (unless they're peas, which I find you GUILTY)

[NoNicky]

Thanks for the encouragement and that is exactly what we plan to do.  

As for peas... it sounds like your experience was with a English pea.  I'm not a fan of those myself.  A sugar snap pea is a pod thing, eaten in the pod and very sweet tasting.  They are kin of snow peas or as some people call them chinese pea pods.  Try them.  You might find yourself liking peas.  For the record though.  They taste best when lightly stir fried and are warm but still crisp and crunchy!

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[NoNicky]

btw Dh said to tell you he would admit it was abuse if it was a brussel sprout!

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[StPaulieGirl]

I was reading your post and IM's replies, and remembered sitting at the table until bedtime...staring at a plate full of cold, brussels sprouts that had been boiled until they were gray.  See if you don't eat your vegetables, no matter how vile, you will sit there and think about all the starving children in Africa who are lucky enough NOT to get brussels sprouts.

Anyone ever eat (or smell) a dish called "Finnan Haddie"?  It's smoked haddock that's been creamed.  I would come home from school on fridays and after that first whiff, I went to my room and cried.  No supper for me that night.

For the record, I like fresh snow pea pods, and frozen regular peas...not canned.  Those smell funny.  I learned to eat peas by mixing them up with my mashed potatoes.

In reply to your original post, gma is a contentious idiot.  

[Brent]

>The alleged abuse took place when we had him
>this weekend. We did something truly horrible.
>We gave him a choice. Sit at the table or eat 1
>sugar snap pea.

You horrible maniacs. ;)

It's sad, but this is what it's come to- making your child eat vegetables can be labeled "abuse", and the authorities actually look into it. Amazing.

[NoNicky]

"In reply to your original post, gma is a contentious idiot. "  That is one of the politer things I've heard said about her.  That's even nicer than what the GAL said.  LOL

I don't care if he thinks about starving children anywhere.  I want him to think of a life without a bunch of pills and needles to supplement what he doesn't get in his diet.  I want him to know he CAN do things on his own.  He can make real choices that have an effect on his life.  To learn there are consequences for our actions.  I want so many good things for this boy.  He's gone without too much for too long.  

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[NoNicky]

I really don't think anything will come of it.  Dh and I both spoke with the GAL's paralegal today.  She just thinks gma is a whackjob.  So I believe it will be blown off for the most part.

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[janM]

Ha Ha! I learned to eat veggies the same way! In the mashed potatoes!
I have always had a thing about the texture of certain foods, and some veggies put me off that way. This way worked for me. Mind you, the only veg I like are peas, carrots and corn and occasionally lettuce with a nice sweet dressing.

Thanks for jogging my memory!

[nosonew]

OMG!  And I love peas, of any type, snap, frozen, canned, AND I love brussel sprouts, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, etc.  WHY?  Because MY LOVING PARENTS MADE ME TRY ONE BITE!!! To this day I will eat a pkg of frozen brussel sprouts cooked with real butter, salt/pepper, for a snack!  (Watch out later though!)..

Thanks for the laugh, I hope you can show the judge her complaint next time you are in court. :)

[DK]

My ss would not eat veggie's either.  He dropped them on the floor, dropped his fork on the floor, fell off his chair, slobberd, and then some.  No matter, he eats veggies now.  We still get told we abused him and it has been 4 years.

[1angrystepmom]

"To this day I will eat a pkg of frozen brussel sprouts cooked with real butter, salt/pepper, for a snack! "

LOL, Me too!!  My kids LOVE brussells sprouts too!! When I make them with dinner, I have to make TWO packages!!

I suppose I too am guilty.... BUT, what I do, The kids KNOW they must at least TRY whatever it is....  IF they make a comment "eewww that's gross" or anything of the like, they KNOW they WILL eat what is on their plate, AND... get a second helping.  I don't care if they try something, and don't like it, that is fine.... BUT when the negative comments start flying.... THAT is what irks me!!  THEN , it's time for SECONDS!!  **makes for an editorial free meal time, LOL

[NoNicky]

What is it with everyone putting their peas in their mashed potatoes?  I must be the weird one.  I never did that.  I never wanted to mess up the taste of my mashed potatoes with peas!  However, if I have corn and mashed potatoes they will always be mixed together on my plate!  LOL  I love the way they taste together.

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[NoNicky]

Oh now that is a suggestion I do like.  I'd even be gentle enough to allow a comment of "I don't like this." or something along that line.  I just despise hearing things like "Ewww that's nasty."  Which only comes from my ss.  My kids have learned not to use the word hate.  It took some doing but they finally learned there is a difference between disliking something/one and hating.  They've also realized that like their mom there are very very few things that hate is reserved for because it is so powerful.  

I will say, I hate vinegar, I hate mayo, and I hate fish.  But that comes from a trauma that happened from before I was 2 years old.  Mom swore I couldn't possibly remember it until I described everything that happened to her in vivid detail.  Long story short, I was eating fish, with tartar sauce (made with mayo) and got a fish bone stuck in my throat.  I started turning blue.  I remember being beat upon in an effort to try and get it out.  I was hung upside down while they pounded on my back.  The doctor told them to have me drink massive quantities of straight vinegar to dissolve the bone.  It did the trick but to this day I  cannot handle those things nor anything made with those things.  I am condiment free for the most part.  I joke with my dh that I like my sandwich the same way I like him...naked!

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[StPaulieGirl]

Lol, I was being polite.  Gma is being petty, and is not helping anything.

I remember my son had weird eating jags.  He'd go for a whole month eating nothing but Top Ramen.  One day, I diced some leftover chicken and veggies into it, and he screamed.  Then there were the quesadilla and grilled cheese sandwich marathons.  

He loves Mexican food now, especially Tortilla soup, which is basically vegetable soup with shredded cheese and crunchy tortilla strips.   He's basically meat and potatoes, and at least he's eating that.  There are sneaky ways to incorporate proper nutrition, if it comes to that. Kids love pulling power trips about food.  My grandbaby will walk around with a full mouth rather than swallow.  

I want my kids to also know that actions have consequences.  That's the problem I'm dealing with right now with school.  As for food,  my 9 yr old is also picky.  Nachos with beans, cheese, sour cream and salsa has to have some nutritional value.  Hates soup, except for tomato. Doesn't like mashed potatoes because she caught me throwing a piece of onion into the pressure cooker with the potatoes.  She will eat raw carrots with ranch dressing, though.  I think you'll find that a lot of kids have eating quirks at a young age.  My oldest daughter will finally eat Chinese food, but no one will touch mushrooms.  

This reminds me of that Bill Cosby dialogue about chocolate cake for breakfast.  Hehe, chocolate cake has milk, eggs, and flour.  

[StPaulieGirl]

Those are about the only vegetables I like.  What is weird is that my adult girls like broccoli, so I learned to steam it until just done, or we dip it raw into ranch dip.  Another one is a family dish.  I can't believe that they all will eat mashed carrots and turnips, but freak out when they see peas.  

I throw away more salad fixings than we eat.  In the summer, when everyone is over for bbq's, we have salad full of everything, coleslaw(kfc knock off recipe), and Best Food's recipe potato salad.  Good thing there are hungry adults to eat it.  The youngest ones won't touch it.  As a matter of fact, the baby won't even eat hot dogs.

[Indigo Mom]

They're what you use when your hacky sack goes missin'.  They're what you get out of the freezer and chunk upside your big brothers head after he got done beating you to a bloody pulp!  Food?  Nah...LOL  Next to peas, brussel sprouts are the single most disturbing "green food" I can think of.  Egads...my hub likes those.  Blech!

-----staring at a plate full of cold, brussels sprouts that had been boiled until they were gray. -----

That is SOOO wrong of your mother!  How dare she!  grody!!!!!  They turn gray? ew.

-----you will sit there and think about all the starving children in Africa who are lucky enough NOT to get brussels sprouts.-----

The lucky bastids!  Wish I was in Africa when my mom put peas or brussel sprouts on my plate.

[StPaulieGirl]

Sorry, I have a bad attitude towards brussels sprouts.  Ohhhhh, have you ever had to eat eggplant?  Bleccch, it made my tongue swell up!  Can't eat walnuts for the same reason.

So, tell us.  Do you like liver?  lol, just playing ;-)

[StPaulieGirl]

Hahaha, more like cattle feed!  I do like peas, but they have to be frozen peas.  I can't afford to buy the fresh ones.  My mother worked for 18 yrs before she got married.  She didn't know how to cook.  She did make a wicked cheescake though :D  My dad taught me how to cook, be mindful of nutrition, but not serve yucky stuff.

Did you get stuck with liver, eggplant, or CAULIFLOWER!!!!  Damn, I forgot about that stuff!  

[NoNicky]

Eating quirks don't bother me.  I have a 17, 12 & 7 yr old.  I've done the marathon things.  I'm also a mom that will allow cold pizza, grilled cheese, etc for breakfast.  The problem with this particular child is that he is truly malnourished from it.  To the point that the doctor has had to add prescription vitamins and laxatives.  Gma makes no attempt to get him to even try new foods.  He will say he hates a certain thing and it is let go at that.  When you question him you find out it's not necessarily that he hates it, it's that he's never tried it in the first place to form an opinion.  His mother's idea of good nutrition is to open a can of spaghettios and eat them straight from the can.  I do give things like that for lunch sometimes.  But I add some carrot sticks or something like that on the side.  

I love that Cosby routine about the chocolate cake for breakfast!  "Those children, those sweet innocent children... they lied on me!  They told my wife, 'he made us eat it'"  LOL

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[NoNicky]

A child that won't eat hot dogs?!  :-)

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[NoNicky]

omg and if one more person tries to shove a zuchinni down my throat!  LOL  I don't care how you prepare the stuff I still don't like it.  That and spaghetti squash...takes like real spaghetti... sure it does.  And my cats leave sculptures in the litter box, not turds.

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[Kitty C.]

We lived on a farm when I was a kid and we had a LOT of meat (beef, pork, and chicken).  Whenever my mother made this special rice pudding-type of dish (a FAV of mine), I KNEW she was making liver!!  i asked her once why she made that specific rice dish and she told me that she just wanted to make something that I liked to make up for the liver and I told her that she's just letting the cat out of the bag, LOL!

My taste buds and nose are VERY closely linked and I cannot eat anything that stinks when it's cooking, like spinach, and cooked cabbage.  Talk about stinking up a house!

Oh, and the spinach??  My mom was the only one who would eat it.  Since Dad didn't like it either, he didn't make us kids eat it, LOL!  But it looked like that green algae-like crap that floated on the top of the cattle tank (actually came from the cows, but you don't want to know where!).  So whenever Mom made it for herself, we'd tease her about 'cleaning off the cattle tank', LOL!!!!!!

[StPaulieGirl]

Actually I found a way to disguise zuchinni.  boil it slightly, then mix it in with canned, seasoned tomatoes.  It goes pretty good with mashed potatoes.  I also slipped it into spaghetti sauce, and lasagna.  Yes I was foolish and grew a couple of zuchinni plants many years ago.  

I've never eaten spaghetti squash, but I like butternut squash.  You can make it taste like pumpkin pie and serve it with pork chops! Actually most of the kids like it.  Nothing will ever take the place of carbohydrates to feed a hungry family!

[NoNicky]

Apparently I was not one of the majority then.  I do not eat squash of any kind including zuchinni!  Not in any form.  blech!

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6

[StPaulieGirl]

Gma makes no attempt to get him to even try new foods. He will say he hates a certain thing and it is let go at that. When you question him you find out it's not necessarily that he hates it, it's that he's never tried it in the first place to form an opinion. His mother's idea of good nutrition is to open a can of spaghettios and eat them straight from the can.

[p]Oh I see the problem now.  I keep Chef Boy Ardee ravioli around.   I know, make a vegetable puree!  Freeze portions, then add them to the spaghettios!  Can you get away with that?  If you leave the can on the counter, the kid might not catch on.  You have older kids, so you know how sneaky you have to be.  That's like letting them eat nachos for dinner.  Beans, cheese, tomatoes(my kids won't go for them or olives), is basically decent.  



I miss Bill Cosby and his common sense :-(

[StPaulieGirl]

Oh you're mom is a sweetheart!  At least she knew the liver was detestible!

My mom made boiled spinach once or twice, but gave up.  Even she couldn't eat it.  I did adapt a Greek recipe calling for blanched spinach, cheeses and noodles.  It's pretty good.  Understand that the spinach is cooked for like 20 seconds, then combined with jack, cottage, and queso fresco, spices, and beaten eggs.  The kids don't like that either, but.....I bet my son in law would like it :-)  Mmmm, I think I want to make that this weekend!

Let's face it.  Boiled anything is just plain gross!

[Davy]

Could ya'll kindly and respectivefully move your club from the father's issue board ...don't ya think enough is enough ....geesh....purdy please !

[msme]

in Texas, the reason you lock your car at church, on Sunday. If you don't, you will find the back seat full.

[sweetnsad]

Umm, Davy..the topic is serious...I mean, c'mon...being charged with abuse for making your kids eat peas...Gack!  If you can actually charge another human being for making your kids eat healthy, what the heck has the world come to???  Pretty soon we won't be able to make our kids brush their teeth...
Anyway, Davy, what's the difference if it's posted here or on another board???  Sometimes we all need to hear a story that is absolutely ridiculous, to poke fun at.  It makes some of us forget our own problems...NoNicky, not that your story is "ridiculous"...the situation is  downright ludicrous.  That woman is a freak...Arrrgggghhhh!

[NoNicky]

I know and it has been good to laugh about it.  But I do see Davy's point.  We have strayed far from topic.  And to be truthful I highly doubt anything will come of her allegations which interesting enough are only aimed at my dh.  Of course it is his son and he is the one that asked her to see that his son eat his veggies.

NoNicky
For God has not given a spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind.  1 Peter 1:6