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Parenting Agreement.

Started by teakae, Jan 05, 2005, 01:48:34 PM

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teakae

For everybody's entertainment... Let me know if anybody thinks this is funny.

The rules below are what our PBFH came up with all on her own to include in the parenting plan.  The Father, ofcourse, agreed to all of them. Hopefully, she will now at least sign something and agree to "a" schedule...


1.   Father agrees to never cut or dye M's hair for any reason whatsoever. Mother agrees to maintain M's hair and will always ensure that her hair does not cover any part of M's eyes.

2.   Father agrees to never threaten Mother with the kids.

3.   Father agrees that Mother's instructions given over the telephone shall be followed by both children over instructions given by his girlfriend.

4.   Father agrees to make every effort to ensure that his girlfriend always speak pleasantly to both children at all times.

5.   Father agrees to not allow  to be outside for the purpose of picking up strange snakes.

6.   Father shall make every effort to communicate with Mother and understand Mother's feelings. Father agrees to attend and pay for counseling sessions in order to improve his communication skills and to better understand Mother. Mother shall make every effort to attend these sessions with Father to facilitate his understanding.

7.   Father shall not call Mother any names whatsoever.

8.   Father shall help out with the care of both children by helping paying for food, clothing and paying his child support.

9.   Father agrees to pay $450 dollars per child, per month in child support to the mother based on Florida State Child Support Guidelines.

11.   Child support to the mother shall continue until the child finishes high school or turns 18 years of age whichever occurs earlier.

12.   Mother shall attend a parenting class as ordered by the court for divorcing parents.

13.   Father shall always available to provide child care when Mother cannot watch the children to make sure she does not have to hire and pay for a babysitter.

14.   Father shall make sure to spend more time outdoors with Z who is a boy, instead of keeping him in the house in front of a TV or computer. Examples of suitable activities for a young boy include fishing, playing catch, and skateboarding at the skate park. By doing these activities Father shall provide Z with the type of attention he craves.

cathy

Not about PBFH coming up with this, that I can believe.  But the father AGREED to this bullshit?!?!?!

This is ridiculous!  Talk about wanting total CONTROL!  I can't imagine that a judge would be amused at all.  And I can't imagine that it sets an good procedence.

Give in to this stupidity and it will just be the seed that keeps growing.  She will keep total control over your lives when the kids are there.

Oh - and I love number 13.  What?  Is father suppose to never leave the house again to be a babysitter when needed?

Personally - I think it is a BIG, HUGE, TREMENDOUS mistake to agree to this crap.


teakae

HA!
Number 13. The really funny part comes up because Mother drives past Father's house every morning to drop the kids off at a babysitter so she can start her shift at a gas station at 6am in the morning. Mother gets off at 2pm but prefers babysitter to pick up and watch the children because she is busy.. and had given explicit instructions, father cannot pick the kids up instead. She doen't understand "right of first refusal" and she will rather drive additional 10 miles and pay for child care than have father watch them.

The girlfriend, ofcourse, which is me. Has never used a four letter word which in contrast, Mother says "fucking school" fucking dinner" "bastard of a father" "your daddy''s whore / cunt" ...

Number 4.. I guess snakes that are familiar are ok. Like a snake he met yesterday...or a poisonous frog is not a snake.

Number 8.. Father was paying her over 2K per month plus health insurance and had agreed to pay for anything for the kids as long as there was a receipt...Now the court ordered child support is much much less..

number 14 Father always takes the kids places and does things with them. Mother sits them in front of a TV most afternoons. The reason she said this is because the kids were complaining about how they  never got to go to the roller rink and do things at the day camp during winter break. The kids were complaining because father promised to let them go when he had them but never got around to taking them. The reason why he couldn't take them was because Mother suddenly showed up to pick up the kids at 11:30pm with the police and cut the visitation short. Why? because she "thought Father was going to take the kids away".

He agreed to this because the items are so stupid and specific that it is easier to agree to them than try to explain to her it is a stupid rule.  She had all year to come up with rules and a visitation schedule and she has finally come up with something. which is more than nothing which is what we had before.

Oh and I forgot. Number 1. When Father had the girl's hair cut, mother went and got son's ear peirced and daughters hair permed as retaliation but ofcourse, thats OK by her because Father cut daughters hair with out permission.


cathy

This woman will do everything she can to make your live miserable - and she will probably succeed!

See, if you agree to this she will hold it over your head at her convenience.  She will be able to threaten all kinds of insane stuff.  She will use this nonsense to extrapolate any and every controlling maneuver she can think of. She is poison.

PBFH had her lovely stuff in her motions and offers.  She didn't want me to do the kids laundry!  She actually wanted the court order to state that ONLY the NATURAL parents would assist in doing the children's laundry.

And I really think he needs to rethink the logic of agreeing (probably in a legally binding document?) to items that he even acknowledges are so stupid.  And you would be surprised - there are not that specific.  She will twist them in every way imaginable.  

I guess the biggest thing that would bother me is that he is giving up his right to truly be a father and control what happens with his kids while they are in his care.  His ex should not have control over what goes on in his home, in regards to you or his kids.

I hear so much of our PBFH in this - it is scary.  Nothing will work with this woman.   Like the last one about doing things with the kids outside (or is this only for the son???).   We would do things with the kids on the weekend - go swimming at the YMCA, go to a movie, whatever.  PBFH would call and complain - asking why we always had to be so busy.  Why couldn't we stay home and play cards!

I would never ever ever agree to something so controlling and so stupid........

teakae

I couldn't agree more about not signing something so stupid. Which is the reason they haven't been able to agree on anything for a whole year. During which, visitation was at the Mother's whim and a complete night mare. She threatens and cajoles and bribes the children to do as her bidding and throws a tantrum and gets the kids involved crying and fussing.
She even at one point said that the kids should choose which parent they wanted to spend the night with on a daily bases. She said "the children's wishes of whom they want to stay with will not be played like pingpong between the parents and will be adressed and answered before a schedule is decided". Yes, she actually wrote this down in the parenting agreement.

Yes she is terrible... but... She already rules the household by remote control anyway. So what about a few more in writing if she is going to agree to a visitation schedule that is somewhat fixed. Maybe...

We kept the holiday visitation the same as it was 'every other year'. She objected to that saying that each holiday should be split equally with in that day so children can enjoy christmas day with both parents.
Whatever, Father doesn't care what the schedule is as long as he gets his time with the kids. No matter how inconvenient or inpractical it is, it is still time with the kids. And we know that she won't even let him have access to the kids if she feels that she doesn't have control.

She dumps them on the Father's doorstep because she forgot the babysitter was closed that day. When Father finds a babysitter and then goes to work late, she threatens he should have never left the kids in a strangers care and that she would have rather quit work than for that to have happened. Now, with the current agreement, because it is worded to her benefit, it is the father's responsiblity to provide or find day care "for her". So indirectly he is getting the right of first refusal.

She said father has visitation first week and last week of summer vacation. Father said thats not fair. She said that they should leave this one by saying "the parents will decide when the time comes" in the schedule.. Father can't agree to only 2 weeks and doesn't want to agree to "parents decided when the time comes". but if he doesn't the whole deal will fall through and last year will be repeated. We hope that summer is far away enough that securing today's visitation is more important than worrying about that. So  he will sign saying "parents will decided later".

I swear, she just wants to be involved in his life as much as possible...

ps ONLY natural parents doing laundry... hahaha!!.. Our PBFH said that kids didn't have any clothes because father doesn't pay child support to let her buy new stuff when she doesn't have time to do laundry. Father suggested that he do all of the kids laundry for her since he was unhappy with the wrinkled dirty clothes the kids were wearing. So she shut up about that.

The main reason for no visitation with father is because children need stablity and that they are in school so they have no time for their dad.  Father said that he can quit work and home school the kids. Mother says well then I won't get c hild support! And the kids must go to public school so they learn how to "share" and not be selfish!!!. Yeah.. I guess she was homeschooled...


lovebug

I agree! Run away! #13 Okay, Fathers are not babysitters. Fathers are parents and do not watch their own children. Fathers parent and care for their children. #7  my ex tried to use this only she even went as far as to tell me I could not call her by her FIRST name. I had to address her as MRS. (my last name) because she didn't think it was appropriate for our type of relationship. I kid you not. Regarding #6 is father not allowed to have feelings of his own?#14 okay all I have to say about that is...Father should do what father thinks is appropriate while child is in his care. If father is sick or injured these activities would be impossible for father to make sure take place. And what is the definition of "more". How many minutes or hours per visit is sufficient?

Do not agree to these "terms" simpily because to think she will follow a visitation schedule. She will most likely not follow the schedule unless she feels that you are meeting her terms in the manner that suits her and only her. She will make these rules impossible to follow perfectly.

Look at her past behavior and tell me if you really think that this will do any good?

Probably not, and never agree to anything that says "parents will agree at a later date" unless you have something worded like " In the alternative, if parents cannot come to an agreement by such and such a date that this schedule will be imposed upon both parents" Then put in the schedule you want and add a little more time for good measure.

Don't sign this as it is. It will not help you get more visitation.

~D~

leftoverinmn

#15. Father's girlfriend is allowed to threaten the mother with strange snakes.

#16. Father's girlfriend shall cook said strange snakes for a bedtime snack per instructions of mother. 350 degrees for 25 min.

#17. Father's counciling session to better understand the mother will take place at the local veterinarians office.

#18. Father shall communicate with the mother by mooing and barking..

I know I'm new here, but that's too much.


teakae

Thats Great!
Yeah, the sad thing is that BM thinks these are well thought out rules. I know there are a lot of vindictive controlling people out there but when that is combined with stupidity you really have something.

I think the "strange snakes" just says it all. Anybody in their right mind can see that for one, she is controlling, and that she can't think past the current moment nor can she string 3 coherent words together.

In the end, the parenting rules are moot. All we can do is make her feel good about the control she has over us and have her ease off for a moment of peace.








jilly

I have to agree with everyone else.  I know your DH has already agreed to these insane requirements but it ain't over til the fat lady sings. If it hasn't been signed and filed with the Court then DON'T SIGN IT.  This is going to cause more problems in the long run and your DH is going to be kicking himself for ever agreeing to it.

My personal favorite is the snake!  ROFLMBO

Avaya

  The Father, ofcourse,
>agreed to all of them.

I think he's as crazy as she is!  LOLLOL

>2.   Father agrees to never threaten Mother with the kids.

What about Mother?  Can she threaten Father with the kids?

>
>3.   Father agrees that Mother's instructions given over the
>telephone shall be followed by both children over instructions
>given by his girlfriend.
>

What about if he gets married and no longer has a girlfriend?  

>7.   Father shall not call Mother any names whatsoever.

So . . . . . what is he supposed to call her?  LOLLOLLOL
>

>11.   Child support to the mother shall continue until the child
>finishes high school or turns 18 years of age whichever occurs
>earlier.

Ooh, she's gonna wish she hadn't done this one.  Lots of seniors turn 18 before they graduate high school.  
>
>>13.   Father shall always available to provide child care when
>Mother cannot watch the children to make sure she does not
>have to hire and pay for a babysitter.

Cool, most BM's I know would RATHER pay a babysitter than ask the dad to spend extra time with his child.  That's a good one - until she realizes what she's done.

What a loon.