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Changing custody rights to father from unfit mother holding custody

Started by adubman, Apr 04, 2005, 11:03:42 AM

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adubman

CA father of (soon to be) 13 year son currently living in unfit conditions with mother having cusotdy rights for past 7 years.  Would like to pursue full custody rights and would appreciate information on getting process started.  Case background includes (but not limited to) facts that I (father) is better suited to custody in areas of housing (she's currently living in back garage of house owned by her father, but main house rented out to separate tenants), schooling (child is enrolled in school district nearby MY residence and has to be driven by her over 15 miles to get and from school in current arrangement), parenting (mother has personal issues including drinking in front of child as well socializing with friends while child is present) and general unsuitability of mother to provide for child.  Mother's custody was originally established with assistance of mother's employer - family law firm - and its ability to navigate through the court system here in CA.  Could there be fraudulent representation issues presented here as well leading to deep pockets claims against the law firm for their support of an unfit parent custody claim?

What is the best course of action for me in terms of changing custody?  How far can I proceed WITHOUT the services of an attorney or should I immediately procur the services of an atty.???

Thank you for any/all info in advance.  I am very distraught by the events that have unfolded in the recent months and need to secure my child's future & safety.

joni


Many fathers offer to take the child and continue to pay child support to mom.  Might be cheaper than hiring an attorney to fight her family's law firm......food for thought.

4honor

Does not necessarily show unfitness on the part of the mother and in fact will likely cause you a greater CS obligation, rather than a change in custody. (For example, the BM does not have enough $$ to take care of child, so you must cough up more dough.)

Things you need to show BM as unfit:

Son does not have a bed/mattress of his own.
Son does not get fed every day
Son does not have sufficient closthing to stay warm and covered.
Son is physically, medically, mentally, emotionally, or sexualy abused.
BM is taking son into crack houses or with her while she robs a bank or does other illegal/dangerous things
Son is not attending school (an accredited home school program qualifies as school).
BM drinks to the point of passing out and is not available to son for hours or days at a time.
BM drinks and drives as a pattern WITH SON in CAR

Sure, your son is in a bad position, but unless  any of the above can be PROVED, you are not likley to change custody on the information you have presented.

I agree with the other poster... ask for son to reside with you. Continue paying CS and at 6 months 1 day file for custody, as the child has been with you for a considerable amount of time -- a significant change in circumstances.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.

CustodyIQ

Hi,

I agree that the strategy offered by the other two posters would work, if she agrees to let son stay with you while you continue to pay CS.  Paying child support for 6 months will be far less than hiring an attorney to fight with the ammo you currently have.

That said, if mom is unwilling to modify the parenting arrangement, only a few things stand out to me in terms of relevance for a change of custody.

1.  If it's truly a garage and not converted garage, I think a judge would find such living conditions inappropriate for a child.  If it lacks heat, if it doesn't have running water, if it's unfinished inside with spiders and roaches, if it only has a cement floor, etc.  You would have to get evidence that this is truly where she and son live, and you'd have to get admissable evidence of the living conditions.  However, if it's a converted garage set up like a studio apartment with a bathroom and little kitchen, this is irrelevant.

2.  Drinking.  If she's drinking/driving or drinking so much that it impairs her parenting, it's relevant.  You need to gather proof of this before you approach the court.

3.  "Socializing".  As I don't think you'd have a problem with social behaviors, I'm wondering if you mean sexual activity.  If she's having sex in a small garage with son nearby, this is very relevant.  You need to gather proof of this before you approach the court.

If all three of the above are as bad as I've described, then you have an excellent shot at changing custody.  If I were you, I'd get an attorney to do it, so it's done right and expeditiously.

Good luck.