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My Boyfriend is Grieving his Children... help!

Started by Andi42, Jan 12, 2009, 01:58:09 PM

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Andi42

I have been blessed with a boyfriend who loves his children.  His marriage ended two years ago after his wife left him for a high school sweetheart.  She also took the kids and moved several hours away.  We get the children as often as we can, but it is hard on the kids to travel so far.  We hope to move closer to the kids... it is a matter of trying to find jobs there, sell the house, etc.  In the meantime, he is sad. I really think he is just now feeling the impact of the loss.  I need advice about how to best help him.  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  Thank you!

Kitty C.

If this is affecting him to the point of it being a factor in how he relates to others or how he is able to do his job, then he needs to see a counselor/therapist/psychologist.  It's possible he could be suffering from depression, but that's a diagnosis only a professional can make.  But he needs to get help regardless.  Many are leary of seeking treatment because of the implied stigma attached.  If he is hesitant to reach out, gently remind him that, if for nothing else, he should do it for his children.  If there's a family history, all the more reason.

But........if he refuses to seek treatment, do not badger him about it.  Remember the old saying:  'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.'  You can make suggestions, but HE must be the one to follow through, and you can't make him do it, no matter how much you want him to.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

tylersdad

Sounds like hes suffering from seperartion anxiety.  I have it.  When I get depressed, I run.  Either outside or on a treadmill