Father needs custody/child support help?

[Justin]

Hello my name is Justin; My x-girlfriend and I were in a relationship for about 4yrs. Half way through our relationship we had a baby, and was a perfect baby boy. About a month after the baby was born she wanted to visit her parents in Fl. wich I had no problem with. She said she was going to visit for 3 wks wich again I was ok with that. Little did I know she was coming home 3 months later with a son I barely know, again he was perfect. I was upset about it all but eventually got over it, and got closer with my son. A month later she wanted to go back to Fl. again to visit her parents with my son i was just getting close to. She was going to stay for 2wks. I was upset but eventually got over it. Again she came home later than she said. 1 month later. To make a long story short she's left me to go visit her parents with my brand new baby 4 different times and came back once when she said she was coming back. This last time she left for supposably 2 wks she never came back. Now I am hit with a $525 child support bill. And there trying to keep him until he's 5 yrs old before I can take him back to my home town. I need some information on what I should do about lawyers, child custody, child support and paying my bills. Most important my son.

[gemini3]

You have a right to see your child.  You also have an obligation so support your child - so there's not much you can do on that end of it.

Please give some more details-

How old are you and how old is your girlfriend? 

Were you two living together when she wasn't in Florida? 

Did she have a job where you live?

Who is trying to keep him in FL until he's 5?  Has she filed for custody/visitation as well as child support?

How long has she been in FL this time, and has she allowed you to visit your child during this time?

[Justin]

Thanks for replying, I am 30yrs old and she is 26yrs old. She did live with me the whole time we were together. She did have a job the last time she came back but wasn't enough to help with the bills, all she helped with was food, and we got a vehicle and apartment together based on two incomes. So I was stuck paying all the bills. She did try to keep him until he was 5yrs old but the judge never ordered that. We're still waiting on the dna test. She's been in Fl. for about 2 1/2 months now. And as far as visiting them I haven't had the money two do anything at this point.

[gemini3]

What your girlfriend has done is kidnap your child - which is wrong you need to fight it.  You're behind the eightball because proceedings have already started and you haven't objected.  If an order was signed you will now have to show change of circumstance.

What exactly did she file and what happened?  Is there another hearing scheduled?  Was a custody order signed at the previous hearing?  If so, who was given custody and what was the visitation?

You should be requesting visitation, and that she pay for the transportation since her move was voluntary.

Please give as much information as possible.  It will help us help you.

[Marsha]

If no custody or visitation was ordered, its not kidnapping.  They were not married so father does not automatically have rights until he or someone files for them.  He is just now taking the DNA test to determine his parentage.

dad, if mom keeps the child in FL long enough to declare FL the childs homestate, then the child can stay and live there.  It is totally unclear in your post what legal proceedings have taken  place, when, etc., and what is the next legal step.

I assume you've taken the DNA test?  You need to file papers immediately for custody and visitation, and state that you oppose moms' moving the child to FL.  State your desire and the childs need to have his father in his life on a regular basis, and that you want the court to order mom to return the child to your state.  If you can't afford an attorney, go down to your local courthouse, get the right forms, fill them out.  Type up, double spaced, a page stating the above, and serve the papers.  The court house cannot give advice but they will grumbling tell you what you have to do next (how many copies you have to make, how to serve the papers).

If you haven't been served yet for custody and visitation (unclear) YOU serve HER, ASAP.  Worry about an attorney later.

Also, many court houses have a family law facilitator you can consult one time for free.  She/he will help you not only write up your personal declaration, but tell you how or set you up with the right forms.

[Justin]

You know I thought about the whole kidnap thing but I just don't think anything would happen on my behalf. I am waiting to take a DNA test now so everything is on hold right this moment, but I do have a lawyer that we picked out in Fl. and says we definately have a case. I think we're just going to file a counter suit case on her and try to get full custody but it prob. won't work. Now the whole thing on her coming back to my baby's home town where I live, can they make her do that? What if she's been in fl. for 6 months but they haven't been consecutive? Is that her and my sons new residance? I really don't understand the whole residance issue.

[daryy]

How about  kidnap thing ? What's going on?

[Davy]

When more than one state becomes involved in the interest of a child gives rise to something known as "home state" jurisdiction or the state jurisdiction most likely to decide the best interest for a child.  Generally speaking, a child must be present in a state for a period of six months in order for that state to be regarded as the "home state" for the purpose of making determinations (ie custody, visitation, support, etc) regarding a child.

There are also other considerations.  One of those is if a child has a "significant connection" to a state.  Some examples of signification connection would be if a left-behind parent (about to be disenfranchised parent) still resides in the abscounded from state.

A child's temporary absence from or presence in a state is not used to calculate the six month consideration.  Lack of a Marriage of the parents is also not a consideration.

Unfortunately, home state jurisdictions usually do not order the return of a child (they should) and leaves it up to the abscounded to state to refuse /reject jurisdiction and order the child returned.  The process usually requires a custody filing (ASAP) in the home state and hiring an attorney in the foreign state (FL. in your case) to file a limited appearance only for the purpose of arguing jurisdiction.  (cheaper than custody issues)

The statues governing each state is known as the Uniform Child Custody Jurisdiction Act (UCCJA) and the federal statue is the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act (PKPA).  Both documented in the articles section of this site.

Not to confuse any issue but the National Organization known as Missing and EXPLOITED Children is concerned with similiar matters. Please give full credibility to the word 'EXPLOITED'.  Your child is at high risk of growing up fatherless and children need both parents.



   

[Marsha]

OK,  this is my meager understanding of the law.  Mind you,  I wanted to move myself and my baby, and was very afraid to.  Unequivacle legal advice I got was that the father could file papers to order the baby returned...and though it would be a crap shoot, I would face a better than likely prospect of having to return to CA with baby, find a new place to rent, job, etc.

For clarification on a few points, if you were not married, and NO CUSTODY AND VISITATION ORDERS EXIST, then you first you just got to get the DNA test done ASAP.  If you are determined the father, then you file immediately for the return of the baby to the childs state of jurisdiction.

Second, the state the child was born in is the state where court will happen.  UNLESS, mom keeps the baby in FLA for however many months...its diff for each state.  You can google that kind of info pretty easily.  For the present, lets pretend its six months.  Mom needs to have mail sent to her, have established herself a home, etc., to declare that as babies new state.  If she stays there the six months, uncontested, then that is the childs home state where if/when you go to court for custody and visitation, you have to go to that state, their local county, each time for court appearances.  Thats why you need to get the DNA cleared and submit the orders as quickly as you possibly can.

My understanding, and I may be wrong...let your attorney tell you...is this is not kidnapping.  At this point you have no legal standing with the child as you have not been declared the father.  If you had been married to the mother when the child was born, you would automatically be put on the birth certificate as the father and not having to prove your standing as a father.  But that is  not the case here.  Here, you have to prove you are the father.  Therefore, its not kidnapping.

While waiting for the DNA test, start taking notes and building your case, not focusing so much on the mom, but focus on your desire to be a father, that you want to be a consistent and regular part of the childs entire life, from birth throughout, help with school, regular visitation time if not 50/50.

Personally, I don't get why attorneys always request way over and above what is realistic.  I'm sure judges are used to it, but I can't help but wonder if one would come across as more sincere and real, in the presentation to the judge.  After all, you would not want a baby to all of a sudden have full custody with you after having had all this time with mom.  That would be very harmful to the baby.  I would not state you desire that.  I would state what I suggested above, and that your goal is to have a graduated schedule with the child that grows to 50/50 shared time.

[MomofTwo]

Jurisdiction, particularly over a very young child, will sometimes come down to who filed first and where.  It does sound like filings have been initiated in FL and that is where ultimately jurisdiction may end up.  Have you consulted with local counsel?  If the FL attorney you consulted with spoke of filing for custody, then FL is where jurisdiction maybe.

So you are aware, it is definitely not absconding when paternity has not been established and until that time it is, Mom is considered (FL law) to be the sole custodian.  She was at will to take the child and leave you and there was  nothing illegal about that. 

That being said, FL recently passed legislation that is geared more towards shared custody.  You will not likely be awarded shared (50/50)  physical custody because you don't reside in the same state/area, but FL is geared toward shared legal custody and you would be given that. You would of course have visitation.  Because FL is now geared toward shared custody, it is not likely you would be given primary custody.  The courts do not often change status quo when everything is ok and it is a young child with Mom already and unless she is a threat to the child, the courts are not likely to intervene and change that. 

The new law does require a parenting plan to be submitted to the courts.  Think about what you want and write it down.  Being as it is a young child and you are not in the area, you need to consider things like support (FL has guidelines, but it generally comes out to about 20% net income), visitation, transportation, transportation costs, holidays, visitation schedule when child starts daycare/school, ... it would actually serve you well to reside closer so you can see the child more.