Relinquishment of Parental Rights

[kathy]

I have a 14 year old step-daughter whom we will be going to court to petition for child custody. Her bio-mom has numerous arrests for spousal abuse and the last one was for cultivating marijuana at home. My daughter (step) has always stated she would like to live with us. In 1998 (she was 8) she told us that her mother would hit her alot with the belt, hanger and with a plastic spoon used for cooking, we went to court and my daughter and her other brother, who is 12 now had told the social working that she would hit them in that manner. When the children were checked they found no evidence then. Anyways, the judge told us we had to let her go back home. (she lived with us for about 3 months) Her brother who is 12 yrs old attempted suicide about 8 months ago and was sent to a health center for a few days. My daughter confided in my husband and I that she too had thought of suicide and handed us a poem she wrote. Then on January 2004 she mother was arrested due to her son taking a marijuana leaf to school. My daughter then came to us and asked that she can not handle being there. They live in a 2 bedroom apartment with 4 adults and 4 children including my daughter (sorry - step) Her mother was served this weekend, well yesterday my daughter told us that her mother had told her she would relinquish her rights away and would get a restraining order against my daughter not to see or get near her other 3 siblings. My question is Can she do that? We are not asking for her to give up her rights only to allow her to live with us and be happy. We even stated on the declaration that we will not request child support. What can we do to continue the relationship of her siblings? We live in California.

Thanks

[kiddosmom]

Your DH is paying cs now right? This is a common threat that a mother tells her children when they want to live with the father. Unfortunatly, if she does give up parental rights sd will not be able to see siblings without her mothers permission unless they go to the same school. The plus is that she will be out of that environment,, YOU and DH have to look at that situation and do what is in the childs best intrest. Leaving her in that kind of environment just so she can be close to the others is not in her best intrest. The father(S) of the other children need to try to get custody of them.

If the children are all your DH and pbfh's then you need to petition for custody of all not just the girl.

[kathy]

Yes, he has been paying. My husband only my sd w/ her. The other children are her husbands. They both were tested for drugs and came out positive. I know it's in my sd best interest to be w/ us but we did want her to continue her relationship w/ her siblings since they are close.

Thanks for your response kiddosmom :)

[kiddosmom]

I hope things go well for you!
I feel sorry for your sd having to miss out because of a pbfh.

[nosonew]

I don't think she can relinquish her parental rights without it going to court, in which case, everything can be brought out in the open about what is going on.  I suggest you take her to a counselor asap, so you have a 3rd party to testify on her behalf.  

Also, the courts don't take kindly to threats and intimidation if you can prove it, good luck.  I would take her sorry ass to court!  (First, if she is stupid enough, have her sign an agreement that she will terminate her rights, but HER stipulation is taking away the child's rights to her other siblings) USE that against her in court! (Get it notarized).

[VeronicaGia]

She cannot just give up her parental rights.  The state of CA will not allow it.  However, at 14, the child can testify as to where she wants to live and why.  Why she wants to live with you is a good reason, in other words, if she just didn't like following the rules it wouldn't fly.  A judge will still make the decision, but if the 14 year old is HONEST and doesn't embellish, a judge hopefully would see it is in her best interest.  Then, if your husband gets custody, he will immediately file for a child support modification making her pay him.

She thinks CA will let her just terminate her rights?  She's nuts!  Even if they let her terminate her rights, her obligation to support the child will not go away.

Get a lawyer, file for a custody change.  Be careful of telling the 14 year old because she may tip mom off, and therefore, piss her off.  Mom will lay a guilt trip on her to stay, or do what she's doing, threaten to never let her see her 1/2 siblings again.  This will need to be addressed in the modification also if a judge will allow it.

[kathy]

Thanks, I will look into it.

As far as child support the biomom does not work. (has never worked) how would that work? I filed for a modification of custody already and we have a reconciliation court date for next month. I would like to get a hold of the biomom's utilities to show that they have been turned off for a couple of days. (gas & light) I tried calling the companies directly and they said I had to have a court subpoena in order to get any records. I would like to get the child abuse from the department of children services. Does anyone know what I can do?

[Indigo Mom]

You're saying that a person can have their rights terminated...but they still have to support the child?  I don't understand!  Once you have no rights, you're no longer a parent, right?  If you're not a parent to the child, why do you still have the obligation to support him/her?  That's about wrong, isn't it???  That makes no sense!!!!

[StPaulieGirl]

I think along with termination of parental rights, the step parent would have to also adopt the child.  I'm not 100% sure though.  A lot of this stuff makes no sense.

[janM]

Indy...think about it...
If all you had to do to get out of paying child support was to terminate your rights, there would be a flood of folks to the courthouses and a whole lot of kids without the other parent in their lives.

From the states' point of view...someone has to support the kids rather than the state...just watch your taxes rise...and then there's the money they get for support collected.

I do see your point. I don't know if that's the case everywhere. And it's different if a step parent adopts, of course. Then that person is supporting the child.

Terminating would eliminate the RIGHTS...but not the OBLIGATION.

[kathy]

I have to agree w/ janm on this, there are guidelines to follow in order to relinquish your rights. I will plan to adopt my sd once my husband gets custody of her. But my questions is if the biomom is not working and in the future my husband decides to get child support where will that money come from if she refuses to work?

I guess this serves as a lesson to all about having children, it's the kids who deal w/ all this BS. Thanks all for your opinions.

[Kitty C.]

There's TWO separate issues here:  Rights and Responsibilities.  If a parent gives up their 'rights' to a child, it means they can no longer see them or make any decisions in regards to their care.  Physically, they are cut off.  But it does NOT automatically remove their 'financial 'responsibility' to that child.  Only if a step-parent steps up to assume that responsibility (adoption)  is that 'responsibility' taken away, also.

Class is in session........INDY!..........Pay ATTENTION!!!  ;)

[kathy]

What if an adoption takes place but the bio parent decides to remain in contact w/ the child? What if a step-parent wants to adopt the step child but one of the bio parents refuses?

[kiddosmom]

A child cannot be adopted unless one of the bio- parents is absent.
via terminated rights or death.

[janM]

My son's exgf gave him custody of their son. At the time, they both agreed to no child support. She told him she would help out but never did, so a year ago he filed for support.

Long story short, she was just found in contempt for non payment. She did have a doctor's note for 3 months while she was pregnant with her now husband's baby (who now lives with the dad's mother, but I digress) but it didn't stop the arrears. She has worked a couple of times but not for long. She has been ordered to participate in a work program until she finds a job. And if she is unemployed in future, she is to report back to the program. This is in effect until the boy (who is 5) turns 18 and her arrears is paid. If she doesn't cooperate she goes to jail.

Check with child support enforcement in your county to see if they have similar programs.

Good luck to your hubby.

[kathy]

I know we have talked about relinquishing parental rights, but let's say I had problems w/ my husband and we decided to get divorced. If my step-child decides to live w/ me but both bioparents don't agree? Do I have any rights if I have been a part of my step-childs life for let's say 10 years and she's now 14??

[janM]

Unfortunately step parents have no rights to the stepkids. Even with long-term relationships. Some states may let you petition the court for visitation if there is an especially strong bond, but not sure about that. Even then, the bio parents would probably have the final say in who can spend time with them (same as grandparents). Sorry.

[Indigo Mom]

-----Indy...think about it...
If all you had to do to get out of paying child support was to terminate your rights, there would be a flood of folks to the courthouses and a whole lot of kids without the other parent in their lives.-----

Ok, I thought about it.  What's the problem?  If a person is THAT stupid, that they would willingly give up the right to parent their own flesh and blood JUST to get out of child support....I say...bubye!  Have a nice life...adios....don't let the door hit ya in the a** on the way out.  What kind of a parent would do that just to get out of child support anyway?  A dork who doesn't "really" want to be a parent...and when one doens't "want" to be a parent, they're not going to make a very good one, now are they?

-----From the states' point of view...someone has to support the kids rather than the state...just watch your taxes rise...and then there's the money they get for support collected.-----

Clearly, the state is stupid if they think it is a financial impossibility for ONE person to raise their children.  I did it on $6.50 an hour when lil dude was a baby.  Wasn't easy, we didn't have any "extras"...but we did have everything he and I both needed.  (and no one can demand I give more than that) Just because a parent wants to leave, doesn't mean the remaining parent is going to get the state to support the child.  That's too stupid for words!  

So, that brings us back to the "real" reason...the state believes our children are paychecks.  init grand?  Why would the state want to lose out on all that money, eh?  money grubbin' boneheads!

PS...could you tell kitty that if she yells at me again, I'll sock her upside the head?  thanks....  ;)

[Indigo Mom]

-----What if an adoption takes place but the bio parent decides to remain in contact w/ the child? -----

You do what you FEEL is right.  If a step parent adopts said child...that parent becomes the legal mom/dad to the child.  

HOWEVER....my hub will be my sons legal father this year. (we had a stick in our wheel last month when he was supposed to be "determined" to be my sons legal father) He has a biological father who kinda sorta...well, he left again.  He wasn't around the first 6 years, came around and was a great dad for a year, then left again when his girlfriend left him.  So, when he calls...and I know he will...he is ALWAYS welcome to pick up lil dude.  ALWAYS.  He won't be the legal father...but he will forever be a part of lil dudes life...should he choose to.  Don't ask me "why" I feel this way...I just do, and so does hub.

You don't have to do this...but it should be something you discuss before an adoption takes place.  

[Kitty C.]

I didn't realize I was that loud, LOL!

[kathy]

My understanding on this issue it that you can relinquish your rights if you are not involved with the child, neglect the child and/or the bio parent is an addict with drugs or alcohol, at least hear in California.

So let me get this straight....

Biodad signed his rights away but will still comes around and takes lil dude or spend time w/ him?? So why terminate his rights.... I don't think I understand correctly.

[Indigo Mom]

If you've never had any rights to begin with, there's nothing to terminate.

My hub is lil dudes father.  Biodad knows this.  Biodad is ok with this.  Biodad knows he is "unable" to BE the father to this child.  Biodad has no problem with lil dude calling my hub "daddy" because biodad knows it's "right".  

Biodad will always have a place in lil dudes life, should he choose to be in it...but when it comes to those "rights and responsibilities"...those are going to my hub.  Biodad will NEVER be responsible for child support, medical, anything...those are going to be given to my hub.

It may sound all types of crazy...but here I have a biofather who can't be a father...and I have a hub who can.  I have a biofather who isn't around "too" often...but when he is, it's great.  I have the duty (in my opinion) to do what's right for lil dude...and telling him he can't see his biodad isn't right.  

My son has been nagging the GAL for a year now to have his last name changed from my maiden to our married.  He loves hub, hub loves him.  I do believe he loves his biodad, but it's not "happening"...ya know? Giving this child to the only man who's ever really been dad...my hub...well, that's too cool for words.  And...biodad is ok with it all.  

Besides, this whole biodad/stepdad thing is intertwined with the most nightmarish case on earth (again, my opinion) with a horrible "interested 3rd party"...and if you knew all the facts of the case, including what went down in court last month...you'd understand why sometimes...things HAVE to happen whether they make sense or not at the present moment.

[kathy]

I understand clearly where you're coming from. I could understand your hub's feelings for this child. I too have a step-daughter who I love. She's my only daughter and I have two boys also. I applaud your hub because it's not easy to except someone elses child.

You said  "If you've never had any rights to begin with, there's nothing to terminate". If he's the biodad automatically at birth he has rights. Right??? Don't get me wrong I fully understand just that you make it seem as if it's that easy to just relinquish your rights with out a good motive just because biodad does not have $$$$$$ (you said it yourself) I have a biofather who isn't around "too" often...but when he is, it's great.

Who's to say in a few years from now your hub and yourself split up, is hub going to be charged child support to help you with lil dude or is your new hub going to be stepping in and becoming lil dude's new daddy???

And another question you mentioned that "you'd understand why sometimes...things HAVE to happen whether they make sense or not at the present moment" But to be honest with you when you make decisions like that, you set yourself up for making more mistakes.

JUST MY THOUGHTS TO YOU.

[Indigo Mom]

I'm impressed with your Judgement of me.  Not only is it OFF, it's so far off in outerspace it ain't even funny, darlin.  But, just to clear a few things up for ya...

#1 My sons biological father has never been in court with me.  WE don't have a case together...for custody, parenting time, child support.  WE will never have that.  We were a 1 night stand, not a marriage, not even a relationship.  We worked together, that's about how "well" we knew each other.  Because he didn't want to be a father, we went our separate ways.  I never filed anything on him...to me, it was pointless.  (I don't believe in forcing someone to be a parent after they've stated they're not interested in it) He came around when lil dude was 6 years old.  Still, no court orders.  It was a trust thing.  For a year, he trusted me that I'd give lil dude up when he called.  Worked well.  Ask any guy here...an unmarried man has no rights unless he petitions the court.  biodad didn't have to do that...he got to pick lil dude up whenever he could.  

#2 Because nothing was ever established in court, there are no rights to relinquish.  No one was ever determined to be my sons legal father.  

#3 As for "good motive"...well, that's where you'll never understand.  I have a "case" for my son with a 3rd party.  Don't know how long you've been on SPARC, but that's the one I refer to as "monster"...because he truly is.  Good motive?  I HAVE good motive, so does my sons biofather.  WE have good motive.  

#4 Where in my post did I ever say the biofather didn't have money?  He works!  He has a place to live, he has a car payment...in fact, he's got more money than hub and I.  Please, point out WHERE I said my sons biofather didn't have money, and that THAT is the reason to "terminate" his rights?  I dare you to scroll through EVERY post of mine and find where I said my sons biofather is having his rights terminated because he's broke.  

#5 Now, this CRAP about my husband and I splitting up in a few years, and your insinuation that I'd go after child support.  There are exactly THREE people on this board I've talked to about this...and all 3 can tell you my feelings on that.  Also, those three people can tell you I never ONCE brought up child support should there be a break up.  (before something as "final" as an adoption, one must go through all the scenarios)bThey brought it up, and I poopoo'd it away, because I wouldn't GO after child support.  You're assuming a few things about me, that...well, they're making YOU look like an ass.  I'm not all about money.  I have none, I get none.  Money doesn't make the world go round, darlin....nor is it a way to control others.

#6 What's this about my "new" husband?  I've been with my husband for 5 years, married 4 1/2.   What kind of insane shit is this you're coming out with?  LMAO!!!  Are you for real?  

-----But to be honest with you when you make decisions like that, you set yourself up for making more mistakes.-----

After you pull your foot out of your mouth after all those "assumptions" about me...why don't you consider NOT doing that...it "could" make a person pretty angry.

-----JUST MY THOUGHTS TO YOU-----

And?  Your point?  I have a thought for you.  Learn to comprehend the posts you are replying to.  

[kathy]

#1
......We were a 1 night stand, not a marriage, not even a relationship. We worked together, that's about how "well" we knew each other.......

 Clearly you really don't know the biodad.

......He came around when lil dude was 6 years old. Still, no court orders. It was a trust thing.

  We've establish the fact that you don't him very well, and he left for 6 years and he comes back & you trust him? (I seriously don't understand)

......an unmarried man has no rights unless he petitions the court......
   What state do you live in??




#4
My statement was (you said it yourself) I have a biofather who isn't around "too" often...but when he is, it's great. Not that he didn't have money, the statement about $$$$$ was that there are you can't relinquish your rights away because you lack $$$$. I never said you were in it for $$$$. As a matter of fact, I applauded your hub for what you both are doing. Now if you're in the offensive side of it that's perhaps because I pinched a nerve!!


#5
....Now, this CRAP about my husband and I splitting up in a few years...

    People could never be sure of any relationship to last a life time. The statistics have shown that 9 out of 10 marriages end in divorce. So my question to you was that if your relationship does not last, what will happen to hub and lil dude since he is assuming the rights as a father? Your reading too much into just questions. Like you said I don't know the whole story but as I mentioned on my last post "My Thoughts" nothing more.

.....You're assuming a few things about me, that...well, they're making YOU look like an ass.....

    Once again i'm not assuming anything i'm asking questions.!!!! How am I looking like your comment if I'm not the one who's getting upset and aggressive about somebody asking a few things about a post you decided to share to many?????


....After you pull your foot out of your mouth after all those "assumptions" about me...why don't you consider NOT doing that...it "could" make a person pretty angry......

Obviously you have issues you need to deal with. I suggest you Don't put your 2 cents in and simply read what other people have to say.



JUST MY THOUGHTS TO YOU , Good Luck!!

[Indigo Mom]

-----Clearly you really don't know the biodad.-----

Um...YA...I believe I stated that when I wrote the words "1 night stand".  

-----We've establish the fact that you don't him very well, and he left for 6 years and he comes back & you trust him? (I seriously don't understand)-----

Yep.  You read right.  We established a relationship built on trust for lil dude. (It was VERY hard in the beginning, I will say that) Is there really something wrong with that?  Are you saying I shouldn't have trusted him?  That he shouldn't have trusted me? Why not?  Would you prefer me to be the typical PBFH and deny him "anything" just because legally, I "can"?  Would you prefer me to tell this guy, who's already been legally f*cked over by monster...that he's getting f*cked over by me, too???  Ain't gonna happen.  Contrary to what many people may believe...I do have a heart somewhere in me.  

-----......an unmarried man has no rights unless he petitions the court......
What state do you live in??-----

I could live in ANY of the 50 states, and it's the same.  An unmarried father must petition the court for a paternity action.  At this hearing, he must either "swear paternity" or request a DNA test to "prove" he is the father, or "exclude" him from being the biological father of the child.  Ask any unmarried guy here.....is it fair?  No...it makes any unmarried man an automatic NCP.

-----I have a biofather who isn't around "too" often...but when he is, it's great. Not that he didn't have money, the statement about $$$$$ was that there are you can't relinquish your rights away because you lack $$$$. I never said you were in it for $$$$. As a matter of fact, I applauded your hub for what you both are doing. Now if you're in the offensive side of it that's perhaps because I pinched a nerve!!-----

First of all, you couldn't "pinch a nerve" if you were sitting right next to me.  I have thicker skin than that.  So please, don't start patting yourself on the back now.  But you did say this...

-----Don't get me wrong I fully understand just that you make it seem as if it's that easy to just relinquish your rights with out a good motive just because biodad does not have $$$$$$ -----

Maybe I "took" it wrong, but you insinuated that the "good motive" is that the biodad doesn't have money.  Don't dollar signs stand for "money"?  The biofather isn't "relinquishing" anything.  He KNOWS he has no rights (thanks to "3rd party")....he also KNOWS that lil dude being adopted by hub is the best thing.  Nothing to do with who has money.  He knows he is unable to BE a father, he knows he can't be what lil dude needs, and lil dude NEEDS a 100% father.  It's not "always" about money.  Sometimes...and I know this "might" be a bit hard for you to understand...but sometimes, you'll meet a person (or in this case 3 people) who only care about the child and "what's best".  You act as though i'm "ripping" lil dude from his biofather for "no good reason"...but you fail to understand, that if biodad was here...he'd tell you the same things.  The best thing about this?  He can still come around...that's something you'll just 'never' understand.  He will never be overwhelmed with the "responsibilities" part of being a parent.

-----So my question to you was that if your relationship does not last, what will happen to hub and lil dude since he is assuming the rights as a father? ------

No, you said this.....

-----Who's to say in a few years from now your hub and yourself split up, is hub going to be charged child support to help you with lil dude or is your new hub going to be stepping in and becoming lil dude's new daddy???-----

That's a FAR cry from "oh my, what's going to happen to your husband should you two split up"  The fact that you mentioned "new hub" becoming lil dudes "daddy" says it all.  You were being antagonistic with that statement, and you know it!  THIS is why you got attitude from me.  

Here's how it works.  When a person legally adopts a child, that person BECOMES the parent.  With that comes rights and responsibilities.  (do I need to explain those to you?)  When a person IS the parent, they have the right to petition the court for custody and child support...so if you look at the "big" picture, legally, if there's a split, hub can petition the court to have lil dude LIVE with him, give me parenting time, and also receive child support from me.  But you didn't think of "that" scenario, did you?  It goes both ways when there are two "legal" parents.  It's not about me getting child support out of him, because he could just as easily get it out of me.  Please, don't think for a minute he and I haven't discussed all this crap...because we have.  As for "new hubby"...let's not even go there.  I "could" understand that one if I've only been married for a month or two....but that's not the case.  

-----Your reading too much into just questions. -----

I believe I read your "questions" (insinuations) just fine.  Thankyouverymuch.

-----Once again i'm not assuming anything i'm asking questions.!!!! How am I looking like your comment if I'm not the one who's getting upset and aggressive about somebody asking a few things about a post you decided to share to many????? -----

Ask a question, get an answer...assume something, after it's been explained to you, and you'll get attitude.  Aggressive?  Me?  Neveeeeeeer...I showed you that you were wrong...got a problem with it?  Deal, lady.  There really "are" people who care about the kids more than themselves.  And speaking of that, IF your stepdaughter chose to "live with you"...tell me...would you then petition the courts for child support from BOTH bioparents?  Would be very "profitable" for you...wouldn't it? You see...it doesn't "feel" nice when someone assumes something and asks a question like that...does it?  

-----Obviously you have issues you need to deal with. I suggest you Don't put your 2 cents in and simply read what other people have to say.-----

Oh, I have plenty of issues, no doubt about that.  I WILL put my 2 cents in to correct the insane insinuations (or as you call em..."questions") of someone who clearly doesn't know me and flat out refuses to "get" what she's read.  

[kathy]

You have not shown me that you are right! I read a couple of the comments you posted earlier and if "MONSTER" put you through hell and back, what are you exposin your son to?

As far as your comment about .... There really "are" people who care about the kids more than themselves"....

Let me tell you something, DARLIN. I am involved with a Non-Profit Organization and we are in the middle of buying a ranch here in California. We will help many children whom are in DISFUNCTIONAL HOMES!!!!!  and try to salvage their hopes and visions. We will have couselors assisting them 24/7. We will also prepare them to be productive members of society. The ranch has stables and we are looking into also purchasing horses. So PLEASEEEEE don't sermon me about caring for children more than yourself. Or did you mean There really "are" people who care about THEIR kids more than themselves??? So what have you done to care for kids????????

....And speaking of that, IF your stepdaughter chose to "live with you"...tell me...would you then petition the courts for child support from BOTH bioparents? Would be very "profitable" for you...wouldn't it? You see...it doesn't "feel" nice when someone assumes something and asks a question like that...does it?.....

  Ahhhhh, i'm glad you said that, Now you will know a little about me. You see, I have been married for 11 years. And trying to get custody of my daughter (step) with my husband (stbx) upon doing to I will adopt my daughter and my husband will sign a Power of Attorney to me while the adoption is in process. We just filed our modification of child custody. My daughters biomom does not know this but, biodad and myself have been seperated for 4 years (Yes, 4 years) and before you ask any questions the reason we separated was that in 1998 we filed to get custdoy of her. He felt we would get custody without a lawyer (boy was he ever wrong) I felt he did not try harder in court her. I was not allowed to be inside the court room to speak my mind. Judge said stepparents are not important in their eyes. I guess that built resentment towards him and little by little I lost the love. After he left I thought about my children and their future. that's when I came up with "When you make decisions like that, you set yourself up for making more mistakes" So I decided that my children did not ask for this. So why should they end up paying the price. I decided from that moment on that if I truly love my kids I WOULD DEDICATE MYSELF TO ONLY THEM! My life is my children. I don't go out unless it's with them. I travel many places and my children come with me. I don't go to nightclubs or bar. Don't get me wrong I'm not bad looking and I weigh 120 lbs. I gon't received child support from my husband (not a cent) and he does see them everyday. I make good money where I can provide for my children enough to them away for the weekend to Catalina Island or San Francisco. In school my kids are in a class for gifted children. You know why?? .. because I devote all my time when i'm not working to them. "I WON'T GET INVOLVED IN ANY RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE THAT WILL TAKE TIME AWAY FROM MY KIDS" My daughter wants to be a Doctor, my oldest son a paleontologist and my youngest a forensic scientist. I guarantee it that if I did not give them ALL of my attention to them, these would not be their goals. My childrens ages are 14, 10 and 8. Tell me how many kids you know fit this criteria?? As far as asking for child support from both bioparents...... Naaaaa as I said earlier I make very good money. I wouldn't mind paying them child support just to have her live w/ me for ever.

.......Aggressive? Me? Neveeeeeeer...I showed you that you were wrong...got a problem with it? Deal, lady.......

Well, I haven't been shown i'm wrong yet, atleast by you. I take it back not Aggressive but Angry. I did read other posts.
QUESTION , ONLY QUESTION OKAY!!!! Do you use foul language when you write or speak??

A Lady always remembers to remain a Lady what ever the circumstances may be..... Grace Kelly (1963)

[Indigo Mom]

----- You have not shown me that you are right! I read a couple of the comments you posted earlier and if "MONSTER" put you through hell and back, what are you exposin your son to?-----

monster and biofather are 2 completely different people.  

As for the rest of your post.  I hate to break it to ya...but making your children "your life" and all that other jazz you bragged about doing with them?  That's what you're SUPPOSED to do.  Most parents don't "brag" about things they are obligated to do. It doesn't make you "great", it doesn't make you "awesome", it doesn't make you "better" than anyone else...it makes you a parent.  That's IT.

-----So PLEASEEEEE don't sermon me about caring for children more than yourself. Or did you mean There really "are" people who care about THEIR kids more than themselves??? So what have you done to care for kids????????-----

hmmmm...clearly I mean the "or" part...and I haven't done kaka (is that word allowed?) for kids.  I think I've made that clear, too...by the way...where in the hoohah (that allowed?) are those rugrats anyway??? oh well...mebbe some stranger will take care of them.  

-----Do you use foul language when you write or speak?? -----

Obviously.  Would you like the number to the nearest CPS?  I can call them if you'd like.  Holy moly, Indy said the "S" word (and because you're "clearly" a swear word virgin, that stands for shit) ...oh my...Indy said the A word.  Indy is a bad bad parent because she said a wirdy dird while her kids are in school.  WHOA...take those kiddo's away!!!!  Call 911!  Call the President!  Hang ol Indy from the gallows!!!!  

Get real..  You're just mad because of my 1st post to you, where I said that even when my hub adopts my child...his biofather will always be in his life.  I see nothing wrong with that...but clearly you do.  Must be another difference you and I have...

*****He was like the cock who thought the sun had risen to hear him crow - George Eliot*****

[kathy]

It's not bragging, im merely telling you my experience and how I care for my children! THAT'S ALL. YOUR READING TOO MUCH INTO IT AGAIN

I know you only care about yours. Why do you think a brought out that comment! Duhh Hello!!!!
What rugrats are you referring to? If you are referring to the kids who will be in the ranch, I did mention "IT'S  IN  THE  PROCESS."

 
 
...Get real.. You're just mad because of my 1st post to you, where I said that even when my hub adopts my child...his biofather will always be in his life.....

Okay, you got me. You Win I throw my white flag. HA-HA PLEASEEEEE get off you high horse.

....Obviously. Would you like the number to the nearest CPS? I can call them if you'd like. Holy moly, Indy said the "S" word

No, just shows me that you are a ghetto, vulgar woman. I see clearly your morals and values because people who do apply them everyday. Don't worry I won't dare step to your level. Colorados finest I suppose.


(and because you're "clearly" a swear word virgin, that stands for shit) ...


I stand plenty. Thank you:) I still have not forgotten that I AM A LADY. You could never even be half the woman that I and several other decent women are. I And that's so sad.
BITTER INDY- BITTER INDY



And even though you and I don't agree IN SEVERAL THINGS..... I still applaud once more for your hubs part. And wish you PLENTY of LUCK in raising your lil dude to be a productive member in society. I hope that perhaps in a couple of years I may run into you and check again how your life and lil dudes has turned out to be......

[Indigo Mom]

If being a "lady" means I'd be as deceptive as you are when it comes to your 4 year separation from your husband....lying to the courts AND to the biomother about it...just so you can "steal" this child that is NOT yours (and I say "steal" because it's fraud)....well, I'll take being a "vulgar, ghetto woman" ANY day.  Because, if nothing else...I'm not going to lie and deceive to get what "I" want.  Me, a little vulgar, ghetto woman...knows it's not about me, but rather the child.  You could learn alot from the 'hood, "lady"....but you're too stuck on yourself to "get" it.  

You wouldn't know sarcasm if it smacked you upside that overinflated head of yours.  Contrary to what "you" believe, what others write isn't "always" about you. (the rugrat thing?  Wasn't about your center) When I posted a response to you, I was being honest...in the next few responses...I was still being honest.  Then you had to start your ego crap and now look what you've done.  You've turned this thread about relinquishing parental rights into a battle of the "egos"...however, you're the only one battling, and being nasty as all get out.  Who's a lady?  Not you.


Done showing your "true colors" yet?  Mine have always been showing....I don't "hide" who I am.  I'm done with you and your ramblings about nothing but...well...how much better you are than everyone else...simply because you do what any parent does.

Bubye!

[DK]

I have been ready what what the two have you have written the last few days.  Finally I had to respond.  

Kathy:  I beleive you came to this board to post your situation and get information and advice.  Is that right?

Indigo:  I believe you relpied giving your own personal story because it was similar as far as having a bio parent and a step parent (possible adoptive parent) Which is what Kathy was asking about.

Kathy:  Indy gave you her story.  You replied with some questions.  Indy inturn responded with even more personal details.  You inturn asked more questions, this time telling Indy your personal point over of how wrong she is.  Indy never said the Bio dad had no money.  She said Bio dad is not financial responsible for his son.  This is ok with Indy and her current husband.  It is also ok with Bio dad that Indy's current husband is the "dad" because bio dad himself knows he is not the best parent for Indy's child.  You also said Indy should not have trusted bio dad after 6 yr leave of absence.  It is Indy's responsibility to her child to let her son have a relationship with both parents.  You said yourself your step daughter would rather be with you and her dad, but do you really think she wants to never see her mom again?  The women is still her mom;good, bad or other.

Indy:  I have read what you have to say many many times.  You have always been upfront and honest.  I have read times were you admitted you may have said the wrong thing the first time round, and I have read were you stick to what you say due to your firm beliefs.  I personlly applaud you for the decisions you have made.  I respect your hubby for being the "dad" and still helping the bio dad be a father when he is around.  Your son truely has three great parents.  I am sure when he grows up he will love and respect you all for giving 100% of what you all have to give.

Kathy:  Indy gives more than 100%.  Her hubby gives more than 100%.  And Bio dad give 100% of what he can.  Not everybody's 100% is the same.  I really think when you come and post asking for help and advice you should stick to reading and asking questions, not judging and making accusations.  Take what you want to assist you and your needs.  Leave the rest alone and keep quiet.  Certainly asking questions to clear up something is one thing, but tossing mud around is putting you in the same boat as the bio mom you came here talking about.

YOU GO INDY....

DK