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Author Topic: Question about custody  (Read 5164 times)


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Question about custody
« on: Apr 02, 2009, 01:00:00 PM »
 I have a lot of reasons for thinking that my husbands ex should not have custody of the kids - but I have a feeling a judge would only look at them as small insignificant things. Mostly like them missing school to go on a vacation or because she's tired and doesn't feel like taking them. But they don't miss all the time. Maybe 3 times in a 6 week period. Or spending money on things like horses, four wheelers, new vehicles, new furniture (not just a few pieces - the entire house has new furniture), etc. but she won't pay for doctor bills for the kids.
But is a boyfriend constantly moving in and out enough for a judge to take custoday away? Since my husband and her have been divorced (2001) she has had 3 boyfriends. The first one I don't know a whole lot about - but I know he moved in and out and back in again a few times. The second boyfriend did this also. He probably moved out 7 or 8 times before he left and didn't come back. Then about a month after he left, she had a new boyfriend. Since then (about 3 years ago) this guy has moved out approximately 9 or 10 times. She just called and said he moved out again. Everytime she tells the girls "He's not coming back, you guys deserve better than that." And then he comes back. It bothers them, but there's nothing we can do.
Now here is the dilemma. We truly want what is best for the girls. They don't live with us - but we see them all the time. My husband goes to every practice they have (3 a week), every game (1 per week, per kid), and we have them every other weekend. He calls them every night. He is VERY involved in their lives. He wants what is best, and not to be spiteful. If we took her to court for something like this it would put a ton of stress on them because his ex doesn't feel the same way. She gets mad at him and she talks trash about him in front of the girls. We NEVER talk about her in front of the girls. No matter what. We learned a long time ago that they will just lose respect for us. So would we have a good enough chance to spend the money that we don't have to go to court and put everyone through that much stress? I don't want it to all be for nothing.
And I know someone will ask - we have documented before. But then we get lazy, and forget to sometimes. At one time the girls didn't know who was living with them because one would move out and another one would move in - and then it would switch. Crazy. At that time, we were documenting. But we haven't been consistent with it the last few years. Advice?


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Re: Question about custody
« Reply #1 on: Apr 03, 2009, 04:30:52 AM »
Nothing you have said would suffice for a custody change, but you can always talk to local counsel.   


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Re: Question about custody
« Reply #2 on: Apr 08, 2009, 04:21:34 PM »
I would have to second the previous response.  My husband actually had a similar situation with the mother of his daughter.  The difference was that she was moving in with different guys and it was approximately 3 over and 4 year period.  He did bring it up in court but that was at the initial custody/visitation determination not a change of custody.  And it did create a very tense situation for quite some time.


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