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My Step Doughter in Cutting herself....Help!

Started by worried_step_mom, Jun 02, 2009, 09:29:24 AM

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Kitty C.

It WILL get worse before it gets better, for everyone.  Until all is said and done and even after your SD becomes an adult, this will be an issue.  What matters is how one handles it, which has a direct effect on the stress level of all involved.

I would venture to say that IF law enforcement is ever involved regarding an arrest, it's because somewhere along the line (possibly the court or DHS/CPS) determine that whatever happened was a direct result of criminal negligence on the part of the mother.  And if that is the case, the arresting officer would be duly informed of the circumstances surrounding the situation, and if children are involved, they will make every effort to minimize the stress.  Unfortunately, that all depends on the individual being arrested.  If any of you have watched Cops on TV, you've seen how individuals charged with a crime react.  If they have children present (and if they were 'smart'), they would comply willingly to lessen the effect on any children present........but from what I've witnessed, that's not always the case.  Bottom line: it can go as easy or as hard as they want it to be, but it's up to all parties involved to make that happen.

I'm glad you were able to talk Dad down from reacting and doing or saying something that could very possibly make matters worse.  It is such an emotionally charged situation and it is VERY difficult to leave feelings out of this, but you have to be thinking clearly and not do anything in the heat of the moment without thinking it through and considering the consequences.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

MomofTwo

Funny, I think I read this exact same advice somewhere else ...oh yea, that was exactly what I said. Except I was criticized for it.  Interesting dynamic this board has.




worried_step_mom

That may have been what you where tring to say...but it sure is not how it came out.

It's ok, I am glad that both sides came out on this topic.  I help me realize that there really is not excuse to hide/cover up a problem this serious to the parent.

All i can think is the what if's:
what if we (huband and i) left to pick up chineess and rent a movie, and daughter is hanging out at home waiting for us, in that time she gets an upsetting call and does the cutting the right way, or cuts to deep and we come home to her bleeding out. On our watch cause NO one mentiond what was going on. I am sure mom would have blamed us then. She would of found her voice really quick.

Kitty C.

If you worry about the 'what if's', it will drive you to the looney bin!  You just have take care of what you can, and hope for the best..........
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

worried_step_mom

your right. I just need to take one issuse at a time.

we will see what happends this weekend :)

thanks again for everything

ocean