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I want Visitation

Started by brodude, Jul 01, 2009, 04:51:04 PM

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brodude

I was wondering if anyone could help me out...
I live in arizona and have 2 children age 6 and 5, The mother and i were never married. Back in February i filed a petition with the court to establish paternity and also to establish parenting time and support. Since then i have been paying her money also. The courts have still not set up a hearing nor has a parenting plan been set up yet. Peternity however has been established through her response to petition.

Anyway any Visitation that i have been able to have with my children since has always been at her discretion. I have to give atleast a weeks notice and am only able to meet them at a public place for no more than and hour at a time. And I am to be the only one there, if my
mother, their grandmother tries to come she threatens me and wont bring them.

I know this is just a control issue on her part but my main concern is there any rights i have to get more visitation with them. i.e having them over my place or being able to pick them up from her parents house where she constantly drops them off while shes working?
I feel like i should be able to have them instead of her parents. Can i take police with me to pick them up? Any help would be greatly appreciated!!

ocean

Something is not right...
There are no hearings on the child support or parenting time? Call the court house and see where or why?
Until you have a court order the police will not help you (and even with one, they tell you to go to family court).
You need to get into court so she cant manipulate your time with your children. Request the first right of refusal...that means if she needs a babysitter then she needs to call you first before anyone else. In your parenting plan, you can have it written the children will be with you during moms working hours if you are available.
Good luck!

DadsCrushed

My psycho ex-wife pulled that BS as well. By law, you are the parent. You have every legal right to the children. Barring an Order, which does appear to be present, you can take the children with you and without her interference. Your ex will threaten to call the cops; the cops can not do anything since there is no order and you are the parent. Of course, do you want to pit your children in a bitter tug-of-war?

Your wife's unilateral demands on the scheduling need to be met head on. You must document every effort you make for purposes of trying to demonstrate that she is not doing what is in the best interest of the children. Also, my advice to you is to keep your grandmother or mother around. Sounds like your ex has some serious mental issues and I wouldn't be surprised if she claims assault by means of a restraining order against you.

If I were you, go to Court and get this resolved.

MomofTwo

You need to be very careful. Her stating something in a response is not verified paternity.
If you have petitioned the courts for it, you have to follow up with the courts to get testing/hearing dates. 

Until then, since paternity was not established and you have no court orders giving you visitation, you are under her as to when you get to see the children.  I do agree with keeping documentation, put it in writing - certified mail receipt, email, something that you have proof but absolutely do not go in and remove those children.  They have not legally been proven as yours and you have no legal rights to them yet - if you are going for custody, that will weigh very heavily against you.  Not only that, you could be getting more trouble than you think.

You need to follow up with the courts to get your parenting time and completion of testing. 


Davy

I adamanantly agree with DadsCrushed.  You petitioned the courts and paternity was accepted and that is the reason you are paying support.  Otherwise, you would be paying support for children that were not your children and that is not only gross negligence but illegal as hell would have it.  You do not need a video tape of you in the sex act or an angiogram of your sperm entering the mother's womb as some might contend.

In addition, it follows that you have been civil and have equal footing with the mother.  The mother is not superior (and never truly was) or above God's laws and man's laws.  Those that say otherwise are in hopes of continuining their social agenda and policy against the family and children.   Your children will be thankful to you as I and many others are.

Just keep up the good work and listen to DadsCrushed.  You are not alone and matters are getting better for father's and children.   

MixedBag

sounds to me like a ball was dropped.

File something to the court and request that a hearing be scheduled to move forward with your request to have a parenting schedule set up along with child support.

Start setting your child support aside -- as opposed to giving it to her.

In OH, I know for sure that everything you've paid so far is a gift.


MomofTwo

Please be careful about the information you received here...

In Arizona, paternity can be established legally several ways --  voluntary establishment (both parents sign an affadavit), court case, DES filing, and establishment by operation of law through the department of Health Services.   Did both of you sign a paternity affadavit (her court response is NOT an acceptable method of paternity verification).

Additionally, in Arizona, an unmarried man with confirmed paternity does not automatically have parenting time, etc....  that must STILL be established through the court system. In other words, you have to follow up with the courts.  Please do not listen to the advice you were given telling you you can remove the child even with paternity established. In Arizona, you can NOT do this.  Once paternity is established, you need orders for parenting time, insurance, ... support.    Refer to the Arizona supreme state guidelines regarding this. They are very clear.

You are doing things the right way by filing through the courts, follow up with them now to get your case going.  You don't want to do anything that in the eyes of the courts would jeopardize your case. 

nnote

first,  you really really need a lawyer. message me privatly and I can give you a referall.
I'm going through the same thing.
You need to file what called a 'a motion to compell' basicly a motion that urges the court to take immediate action.
in the mean time, since you have had the paternity resolved, you need to make FAIR and document requests for visitation, and use the visitation/custody guidlines on the supreme court sight as a guide to request for shared custody times. DOCUMENT DOCUMENT DOCUMENT!
If she replies, DO NOT accept any offers of her supervising your parenting time, and when the time comes, let the court know that you feel that that offer was just another attempt to block your time to parenting time.  If she offers to let you take your child, meet her in the lobby of your local police office.
You both are now the legal parents and she has NO right to dictate what time you do and do not have with your children, and in fact neither do you.
Do NOT just go and take your child.  Yes, you may have the right, but fight this through yes, slow painfull court process.
message me privatly.

snowrose

Paternity has been established but there is no court order in place.  You are paying support.  Realize that support is not tied to visitation time.  Paying support doesn't guarantee visitation and not paying support doesn't stop visitation.  They aren't legally connected.

Your ex is trying to control the time that you have with the children.  Why?  Most likely because she likes having the control.  As there is no court order in place, I guess you could say that possession is 9/10ths of the law.  When she has possession of the kids then she's in control.  When you have possession, you're in control.  But I would seriously suggest not using that power.  Be reasonable.

The police won't help you as long as there's no court order, so your answer is to get to court and get a request in for a reasonable visitation schedule.  The norm here is every other weekend and dinner one day during the week.

See if there is duty counsel in the family court area of your local family law court.  If so, they will be able to tell you what you need to do to file for access (visitation) and whatever level of custody you want to file for.