Don't be shortshighted in dealing with custody issues. The courts are not designed to work out human issues. At all costs, absent legitimate abuse, neglect, work out issues involving your children on your own. What you do now will affect your children, how they view and relate to you and others, including future spouces. Figure out your motives in going into court. Is it something that you can work out, even with a therapist or mediator? If your motive is money, revenge, hatred, getting back at your spouse, you are using your children to do your dirty work. They are too young and afraid of loyalty isues to articulate how much this hurts them. or figure out how to cope with their world that has gone out of control. They cave in, not necessarily doing what they want. They really want to love both parents and not feel guilty about it. If you embroil them in your personal war against your spouse, they'll know it, they will pay dearly for it, and you, too may pay when they grow up and your relationships have been severely damaged. Children, even teen agers cannot cope with adult emotions and issues. Asking them, in or out of court, to choose which parent they want to live with is like asking them which one parent to save when everyone is drowning. It is incredibly cruel. Do them and yourselves a favor. Absent abuse, neglect, do everything you possibly can to work it out without a custody war. If you are already in one, consider whether you can wratchet it down as low as possible, or maybe go into mediation or other alternative dispute resolution mode. You are the adults. They are the children. Save them from the damage of custody battles if at all possible.