Okay, so DH
on a regular basis (not daily. lol. Usually once a week with a general email asking specific questions about SD
, like how's she doing in school, is she having fun in her extra curriculars, etc...Sometimes, if something comes up, he'll email more, like when she doesn't tell him about an appt, he'll email to ask how it went--his way of documenting she didn't tel him, as well as to actually find out how it went. lol). BM contacts him about one day per month. She claims it's because she doesn't have internet. However, she also has 18 SASE that DH sent in AUGUST for her to keep him updated on SD and for SD to send him letters, drawings, school work, etc. There were 20 originally. We got 2 back, only one with stuff SD did, the rest was a printout of something BM got at a seminar...Anyway, DH isn't getting information on SD. We've tried going AROUND BM, but we don't get much information that way. Even the counselor BM chose for SD is refusing to respond to him (he emailed her to introduce himself, give her a copy of the COs, etc, and hasn't received a response). Anyway, between the time difference with us in Japan, and the fact that BM has tried TWICE to get DH's parenting time stripped due to false claims (telephone conversations that weren't recorded), he refuses to talk on the phone. But, he left two means of contact open--USPS and email. BM isn't using either. Is there anything he can do? She is refusing to give SD's softball coach's information, not letting him know if she stuck with the counselor she chose or if she changed it (BM would be 100% responsible for the bill if she stayed), not letting him know about any appointments with the counselor or SD's doctor, etc...How hard is it to just send an email or letter to let him know what's going on, especially when it's COed stuff! It's been 15 days since BM had her mom email the counselor's information, and he's heard nothing about appointments (which it is COed to notify prior to ANY medical, dental, educational, extracurricular stuff). There's nothing COed about their contact with one another...So I'm guessing there's nothing he can do short of taking the issue to the FOC or Court?
BM threw a pissy fit the last summer after 2 weeks when SD was here because DH wasn't emailing her regular updates every few days. She never emailed him (like DH does with BM) to ASK him to email her, or to ask how SD is doing, what she's been up to, etc. He assumed she'd email to ask specific questions. Mind you, before 2009, BM wouldn't contact DH AT ALL about SD--for ANYTHING. And he got to talk to her NINE TIMES in FOUR YEARS during the times SD was with BM (MIL had SD a lot, though, so we were able to talk to her). And the only reason she contacted him about SD was because she knew he was getting the summer and she wanted to have emails from DH (Court was in Feb 09--she didn't tell him anything about SD until after Court). DH doesn't want to do a tit-for-tat, but at the same time, he's not sure if she'll GET IT. He's thinking of not emailing her til she emails him (who wants to bet he'll receive almost daily emails this summer, when she claims to have zero access to the internet, despite local libraries and her parents and in-laws having it, and she seems them a few times a week). He was also considering only emailing once a month. But he knows that would be petty (though I think it'd be funny to see what she sends him if he doesn't email. "I'll be taking this to Court!" lol). This summer, we are being proactive. We created an email account for SD to write to family as well as a blog for her to journal her days in, so that everyone can see what's going on with her this summer. We are emailing that information to BM, BM's parents, DH's parents, and my parents. This way, EVERYONE will have the SAME information. We are HOPING this will be enough without DH having to email BM for anything other than letting her know about any appointments SD has. SD is 8.5. Do you think this would be okay? It would limit DH having to email BM, and at the same time let BM know what is going on. He doesn't want to deal with the drama BM brought the last summer SD was here ("I'm contact the FOC if I don't hear from SD X times a week", "You know, I'd like an update on my daughter. You could at least email me", etc etc....). Is that okay?