Advice needed pls on court case

[ocean]

Start making appointments with that therapist. Go by yourself at first and see if the therapist will make an appointment eventually with child there. I would make her listen, see evidence, and have her hear your side of things too. Especially since she may testify, ask that she see you can child together before court so she can see how you both interact. Go weekly until court. Put it under you for insurance as family counseling so child can still go under child insurance.

Can you get last therapist to testify for you that mom refused to bring her anymore? Ask for new therapist to talk to old one...sign HIPPA forms so they can talk.

[gemini3]

I would suggest getting a lawyer, if there's any way you can afford it, to deal with the counselor.  Just the fact that she's willing to testify calls in to question her ethics.

Is she a LCSW, psychologist, LPC, what?  It's agains the APA's ethical guidelines for a psychologist to provide expert testimony regarding a client unless that relationship has been disclosed at the outset.  A treating psychologist cannot be an unbiased witness for the court.

Each specialty has it's own ethical standards, but they're all relatively close.  The fact that she is also treating the BM and her other child is a clear conflict.  She can treat them all together in family therapy, but not each one individually.  See the following excerpt from the APA manual:

(http://<a)"3.05 Multiple Relationships
(a) A multiple relationship occurs when a psychologist is in a professional role with a person and (1) at the same time is in another role with the same person, (2) at the same time is in a relationship with a person closely associated with or related to the person with whom the psychologist has the professional relationship, or (3) promises to enter into another relationship in the future with the person or a person closely associated with or related to the person.
A psychologist refrains from entering into a multiple relationship if the multiple relationship could reasonably be expected to impair the psychologist's objectivity, competence, or effectiveness in performing his or her functions as a psychologist, or otherwise risks exploitation or harm to the person with whom the professional relationship exists.
Multiple relationships that would not reasonably be expected to cause impairment or risk exploitation or harm are not unethical.
(//<A)(b) If a psychologist finds that, due to unforeseen factors, a potentially harmful multiple relationship has arisen, the psychologist takes reasonable steps to resolve it with due regard for the best interests of the affected person and maximal compliance with the Ethics Code.
(http://<a)(c) When psychologists are required by law, institutional policy, or extraordinary circumstances to serve in more than one role in judicial or administrative proceedings, at the outset they clarify role expectations and the extent of confidentiality and thereafter as changes occur. (See also Standards 3.04, Avoiding Harm (http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/index.aspx#304), and 3.07, Third-Party Requests for Services (http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/index.aspx#307).)"

You can find the whole manual here:  http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/index.aspx (http://www.apa.org/ethics/code/index.aspx)#

I would go after her on the basis of multiple relationships, and the fact that she can't be objective when it comes to the treatment of your child - especially in preserving the child's relationship with you (ie: causing no harm) when she is treating your ex on an individual basis. 

File an ethics violation against that counselor and ask the court to stop your ex from taking the child there, or to anyone who refuses to also include you in therapy.

[Heston]

Thanks so much for that information.  Should I file a motion to ask that she is not a witness?  She is currently on the list of witnesses.  And in the same motion ask that the court forbids the child from seeing this counseller on the grounds you mentioned?  The counseler is not licensed.  She works for a psychologist but is unlicensed herself by any board.  I filed two complaints and the governing bodies said they could not deal with it because she is not qualified.  I have now filed two complaints against the psychologist she works for, for allowing this to happen and the counseler has been named as the party acting unethically.

Yesterday there were two more hideous developments.  The BM filed a motion.  She has asked now for visits to be supervised.  And she has asked this, alleging that I speak to my daughter in an inappropriate way.  The inappropriate statement is fiction.  The BM is claiming I have told my child her mom will be murdered.  And that I have compared the BM to a notorious killer.  I've never had supervised visitation.  I have my daughter for weekends and one week evening, when the BM doesnt act contemptuously and deny visits, which she has done recently.  And now, based on lies, the BM wishes to change the visits to being supervised.  This is a backhanded route to them wanting full custody but they know if they request it openly it will be denied.

Judging by the fact the BM has had the child write letters to the counseler making accusations, and telling the counseler the same, through intimidation by the BM, I know this would be the case concerning the above motion.  The content of the motion is lies.  The manufactured evidence is the child being forced to tell the counseller and probably write a letter, as if that makes it true.  But how does a person defend themself on something as hideous as this?

Thanks again for the info about the counseler.  I will definitely be adding to my complaint about her.  If anyone has any ideas on the latest developments and what to do, I would really like to hear about them.  At the moment, due to spending so much already, there is no possibility of getting an attorney.

[Heston]

Start making appointments with that therapist. Go by yourself at first and see if the therapist will make an appointment eventually with child there. I would make her listen, see evidence, and have her hear your side of things too. Especially since she may testify, ask that she see you can child together before court so she can see how you both interact. Go weekly until court. Put it under you for insurance as family counseling so child can still go under child insurance.

Can you get last therapist to testify for you that mom refused to bring her anymore? Ask for new therapist to talk to old one...sign HIPPA forms so they can talk.

I did attend the new therapist by myself for a few months.  I also took my other child for one session to discuss the situation with my daughter.  I told the therapist what was happening from my side of things.  She realised my only interest is helping my daughter.  She also realised what type of person the BM is.  When the BM made it impossible to take my daughter there, this therapist finally concluded that therpay should end, as nothing more could be achieved.  She has written a letter that I can use.  She does not criticize the mom in that letter, which is not helpful.  The therapist seems overly politically correct in everything she says be it in a letter or email.  She could be called to testify but she will probably only state the child only saw her a few times and that I had wanted her to attend more but it wasn't possible.  I doubt she would stick her neck out to say the BM prevented the child from attending.  As for insurance, the BM refuses to let me use my insurance for my child, even though I pay for it and provide it. 

I believe the new therapist did speak to the old one.  Again, the new one is so politically correct, I don't think I can count on her to say anything against the bad counseler.

[ocean]

Have you gone to the new therapist? Go, and now bring up new accusations..and see if she will mediate between you an child.
I know therapists can testify BUT you can squash A LOT of questions. Find out what questions you can squash/object to. (anything child said inside session?). Look it up online or maybe pay a lawyer one time before court for a consultation and ask questions...is there a law school near you? You can use a senior student or ask a paralegal too.

Thinking you can file a motion for her to stop with constant harassing accusations that have proven false (list them with dates) and ask the courts to put sanctions against her. (pay for your lawyer, fines, threaten custody change....) and then add she just filed another false claim.

Did you just see child? talk on phone? when does she say this happened? Our PB used to grill children when they got home, spun what happened here into her own psychotic way and then call screaming on how horrible we were. We finally we able to get a few on voicemail and got a restraining order in place. Maybe if you can prove the constant harassment you can ask for a restraining order and that she can not contact you, only by email for children and she is not allowed near you/house (drop off at street) and she can only be at school functions together but she will not come near you or address you.

[Simplydad]

Thanks so much for that information.  Should I file a motion to ask that she is not a witness?  She is currently on the list of witnesses.  And in the same motion ask that the court forbids the child from seeing this counseller on the grounds you mentioned?  The counseler is not licensed.  She works for a psychologist but is unlicensed herself by any board.  I filed two complaints and the governing bodies said they could not deal with it because she is not qualified.  I have now filed two complaints against the psychologist she works for, for allowing this to happen and the counseler has been named as the party acting unethically.

This right here raises a major flag for me.  I would file a motion to have this person present her credentials if she is going to testify as a medical professional.  If she cannot provide those credentials then I would object to her testimony as a medical professional as she is not qualified.

If she is working for a psycologist and is having visits in this doctors office then I would file a complaint against the actual doctor for allowing a non licenses professional to practice as a counselor in his office.

Yesterday there were two more hideous developments.  The BM filed a motion.  She has asked now for visits to be supervised.  And she has asked this, alleging that I speak to my daughter in an inappropriate way.  The inappropriate statement is fiction.  The BM is claiming I have told my child her mom will be murdered.  And that I have compared the BM to a notorious killer.  I've never had supervised visitation.  I have my daughter for weekends and one week evening, when the BM doesnt act contemptuously and deny visits, which she has done recently.  And now, based on lies, the BM wishes to change the visits to being supervised.  This is a backhanded route to them wanting full custody but they know if they request it openly it will be denied.
Judging by the fact the BM has had the child write letters to the counseler making accusations, and telling the counseler the same, through intimidation by the BM, I know this would be the case concerning the above motion.  The content of the motion is lies.  The manufactured evidence is the child being forced to tell the counseller and probably write a letter, as if that makes it true.  But how does a person defend themself on something as hideous as this?

This is heresay and more than likely not admissable unless there is a report of abuse.  You should ask that a GAL (Guardia Ad Litem) be appointed to your child.  State that you believe your child is being abused via Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAL)

It sounds like there is a lot of allegations but not much proof behind these allegations.   A key here is that these letters have been given to a person who is not licenses to practice as a psycologist .

Thanks again for the info about the counseler.  I will definitely be adding to my complaint about her.  If anyone has any ideas on the latest developments and what to do, I would really like to hear about them.  At the moment, due to spending so much already, there is no possibility of getting an attorney.

Try googling a fathers rights group in your area.  They may be able to put you in touch with someone that could help you pro-bono or you may qualify for legal aid.  In any case I really think you should try to get some legal representation going against a sleezy attorny may not be all that easy.

[Kitty C.]

'As for insurance, the BM refuses to let me use my insurance for my child, even though I pay for it and provide it.'

If it's YOUR insurance and YOU are using it for the child, how can the BM refuse to let you use it?  Is she present at the appts. where it would be used?  If you are allowed by the court to have ins. on the child, I don't see how there is anything stopping you from using your ins. on the child.  Just make sure the practitioner bills ONLY to you for any out-of-pocket expense and that the EOB's come directly to you.

The only fallout is that the BM would have one more thing to get her knickers in a twist about, but she wouldn't have a leg to stand on in court, if all you are doing is providing care for your child...as a responsible parent would do.  In fact, I would venture to say that it's not the issue of you using your ins. for the child that has the BM going ballistic, it's simply the fact that you are trying to provide care for her in the first place.  Just another tactic she is trying to use to marginalize your involvement in the child's life.

So if you do use the ins., she finds out, and comes at you with both barrels, calmly and respectfully tell her that if she has an issue with it, she can take it up with the court....and IGNORE the rest of the BS she throws at you about it. 

[Heston]

Thanks for that advice.  Yes, I do think the issue is control here.  The BM is controlling but so is her husband and I believe that he in particular wants to provide health care, as part of his controlling nature.  They have made it very difficult and sometimes impossible for me to get treatment for my child.  Plus I have tried avoid the wrath of the BM and avoid court cases, but now they have started a huge problem with the courts, and basically opened a can of worms, causing me to file motions, I won't worry so much about that in the future when it comes to healthcare , angering the BM and filing motions.

[Heston]

Thanks so much for that information.  Should I file a motion to ask that she is not a witness?  She is currently on the list of witnesses.  And in the same motion ask that the court forbids the child from seeing this counseller on the grounds you mentioned?  The counseler is not licensed.  She works for a psychologist but is unlicensed herself by any board.  I filed two complaints and the governing bodies said they could not deal with it because she is not qualified.  I have now filed two complaints against the psychologist she works for, for allowing this to happen and the counseler has been named as the party acting unethically.

This right here raises a major flag for me.  I would file a motion to have this person present her credentials if she is going to testify as a medical professional.  If she cannot provide those credentials then I would object to her testimony as a medical professional as she is not qualified.

If she is working for a psycologist and is having visits in this doctors office then I would file a complaint against the actual doctor for allowing a non licenses professional to practice as a counselor in his office.

Yesterday there were two more hideous developments.  The BM filed a motion.  She has asked now for visits to be supervised.  And she has asked this, alleging that I speak to my daughter in an inappropriate way.  The inappropriate statement is fiction.  The BM is claiming I have told my child her mom will be murdered.  And that I have compared the BM to a notorious killer.  I've never had supervised visitation.  I have my daughter for weekends and one week evening, when the BM doesnt act contemptuously and deny visits, which she has done recently.  And now, based on lies, the BM wishes to change the visits to being supervised.  This is a backhanded route to them wanting full custody but they know if they request it openly it will be denied.
Judging by the fact the BM has had the child write letters to the counseler making accusations, and telling the counseler the same, through intimidation by the BM, I know this would be the case concerning the above motion.  The content of the motion is lies.  The manufactured evidence is the child being forced to tell the counseller and probably write a letter, as if that makes it true.  But how does a person defend themself on something as hideous as this?

This is heresay and more than likely not admissable unless there is a report of abuse.  You should ask that a GAL (Guardia Ad Litem) be appointed to your child.  State that you believe your child is being abused via Parent Alienation Syndrome (PAL)

It sounds like there is a lot of allegations but not much proof behind these allegations.   A key here is that these letters have been given to a person who is not licenses to practice as a psycologist .

Thanks again for the info about the counseler.  I will definitely be adding to my complaint about her.  If anyone has any ideas on the latest developments and what to do, I would really like to hear about them.  At the moment, due to spending so much already, there is no possibility of getting an attorney.

Try googling a fathers rights group in your area.  They may be able to put you in touch with someone that could help you pro-bono or you may qualify for legal aid.  In any case I really think you should try to get some legal representation going against a sleezy attorny may not be all that easy.

Thank you for all your suggestions.  I will wait to receive the witness list and then ask for proof of credentials etc and ask that she be removed.  I have also added information to the claim to the APA which will be sent today.  The things going on right now are unbelievable.  There was a CO that was logical and made sense. I have followed it to the t.  The BM has not.  The BM is in contempt of many points.  I resisted filing a motion and then the BM files one asking that the main points be reversed.  No doubt, because I filed a counter motion and a contempt motion, it sent the BM into a rage, and she is now acting in a very sick way, inventing the most hideous stories and actually filing motions on them.  Disrediting the awful counseler is so important.  And the fact I lodged the first complaints about the counseler several months ago, and not as a recent knee-jerk reaction, might sway things.  I always knew the BM would sink low, but even so, her behavior seems shocking.   The counseler has been biased throughout, enabled the BM and been totally unethical.

[Kitty C.]

One thing to keep in mind regarding insurance....and this is federal law:

When a child has more than one policy, say one from each parent or a parent and step-parent, the BIO parent who's birthday comes first chronologically is the primary plan.  For example,  I carry the medical and dental ins. in our family and have included SS in both.  My birthday is in June, but BM's is in November and she only has medical.  So she is primary for medical (mine is used as supplimental) and I am primary in dental.

So as long as you have ins. coverage for the child, the SF's ins. could ONLY be used as a secondary/supplimental at the most.   He could never have primary unless you were unable to provide ins.  Might be something that should be 'brought to light' at an upcoming hearing....like asking for clarification on who is supposed to provide ins....so that there is NO question whatsoever that you provide primary ins.