preschool

[shooter]

I have court ordered visits every other weekend and every other Thursday starting at 12 noon. BM has signed son to preschool, last year it was AM preschool, so no problem. this year its PM preschool so I wont get him till 3:15.  can she do this? he's 4. I am losing 6 hours. I did request another eve and she said no.

[tigger]

Just my opinion but preschool isn't required for high school graduation.  It's not even required for admission into kindergarten.  I don't see a problem with you getting the child on your Thursdays and Fridays.

[fight4him]

I wonder why you couldn't just get him anyway. Like Tigger said, Preschool isn't required so I'm sure him missing one day every other week isn't going to be an issue. What time does he go to Preschool? Maybe you could just pick him up there at regular time.

[tigger]

I wonder why you couldn't just get him anyway. Like Tigger said, Preschool isn't required so I'm sure him missing one day every other week isn't going to be an issue. What time does he go to Preschool? Maybe you could just pick him up there at regular time.

I think it'll likely be 1 day a week.  (Thursday one week, Friday the next, Thursday the next, Friday the next and so on).  However, if the mom is concerned with the child not being ready for Kindergarten, I sure Dad would be willing to spend some time coloring (hand-eye coordination, staying in the lines, and learning the colors) and learning the ABC's and counting, etc.  Perhaps he could even volunteer in the classroom once a month on one of his days just as a good will gesture (though I think it's probably unnecessary).

[ocean]

Call the pre-school directly and see if the child can go on the AM on your days, they may be willing to work with you..then once you know, email ex:
Ex,
My court ordered parenting time in on Thursdays at XX. If child goes to the afternoon session, we will be missing our time together. I called the pre-school and they said ..XYZ (can change? can not change).
Either we can switch the sessions on my day or I am available on XX days and we can change our parenting time together. Please let me know by XX date, which solution works best for you or if you can come up with another solution I am open to other ideas but do not want to miss any time with XX.
You

If that does not work, you will have to fill out modification of parenting plan at the family court house stating "father requests his weekly parenting day be changed to XX so child can attend pre-school and father and child will not miss any time together. Mother refuses to change days and signed child up on fathers parenting day".

[shooter]

this is 2nd year of preschool, he went last year in the AM, (half days) . BM works nights and this is cheap babysitting. 5 days a week

[ocean]

So now this is full time? Then pick him up at the usual time right from pre-school?
Is this being run at as a pre-school the whole day or more of a daycare?

Many kids go to full time pre-school the year before Kindergarten but missing a few hours once a week will not hurt him. If this is the case then just let her know that you will be following the current order and will pick him up at the court ordered time as this is more daycare and not public school.

You will have to go to court soon anyway to get something else worked out for kindergarten...(or do you have that written in current court documents?)

[brwneyedmom]

If you go back to court to modify the existing parenting time guidelines, you might as well cover the next 12 years in school or the control tactics will only get worse. Holidays, long weekends, school breaks, which district the child attends, etc. I see this as a long nightmare that you continually have to react to instead of pro-actively take care of your time.

[gemini3]

Does your CO cover visitation once school starts?

[shooter]

no, it does not cover school. she could have specified am preschool and didnt. I know theres court in the near future. I already tried to talk about redoing things and she had a little fit. I am suppose to have him 12-7 on thurs and start at 12 on the weekend so on thurs not getting him till after 3 makes it short. I know when kindergarten starts theres no choice and I hope to have an extra eve by then. yes preschool mon-fri, theres am class and pm class

[ocean]

Then I would get the ball rolling and file modification of visitation papers...if she is going to fight you on it, it probably will take months to work out so get everything lined up for the rest of this school year, summer visits (at least half but usually 6 weeks around here), and when he starts school.
If your work schedule allows you can have longer weekends and bring child to school, lots of different options. Holidays, birthdays, halloween, fathers day...get it all in there.

[shooter]

thanks everyone

[gemini3]

If there's an a.m. option, there shouldn't be a question of him being in that instead of one that will interfere with your visitation.  I would let her know that you intent to pick him up at the start of your visitation, per your custody agreement.  There's a sample intent to exercise visitation letter on this site. I would make note of the fact that an a.m. class is available, and let her know that if she chooses to keep him enrolled in the afternoon class, you will pick him up there for your visitation.

Also, if she's working when you're available, you should ask for ROFR.  There's no reason a child should be with a babysitter when the other parent is available and willing to care for the child.