Welcome to SPARC Forums. Please login or sign up.

Mar 28, 2024, 12:07:16 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Judges biased decision

Started by jcompz, Nov 05, 2011, 10:39:49 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

jcompz

My ex decided to up and leave one day while I was at work, taking our children without my knowledge or consent, about 2,000 miles away from home. I went and filed custody papers to bring them home and the judge (who is a mother of 5 and just became a Judge in Jan) flat out said that she was not going to take away the children from the mother who carried them in her belly for 9 months no matter what proof I had about her mental instability. I have texts, recordings, photos, etc.. as proof to back up my case, and it seems that this judge just doesn't give a darn. I have an attorney, and he said it's basically a losing battle and I should just take what I can get, which will likely be a couple weeks during the summer and every other Christmas and Easter.

They were in school here, all of their close family and friends are here, everything they know is here. The only thing they have there is a mother that they see an hour a day at most and a grandmother who is so unstable that their mother ran away from her when she was a teen! I don't know what to do...

brwneyedmom

There will be more people posting during the week, so don't lose heart if you don't hear a reply right away. I don't have experience with this, other than reading of others' experiences. You might want to go ahead and post how long ago this happened, which states are involved, and the ages of your children.
Because neither of the parents had a custody order, technically, either one can take them. Morally, NOT AT ALL.
Some of the other wiser parents here will be able to help you with the right paperwork to get an emergency custody order and to have this judge overturned. Hopefully.
Best of luck to you. While you wait, read some of the archived articles. They are fantastic and will give you a background on what you have to do to make things more right again.

jcompz

Court is in Mississippi. Kids are in Ohio, ages 3 1/2 and 2. And she moved in June, first hearing was 2 months ago, final hearing is on Wednesday...

brwneyedmom

It's late but you need a new attorney. Your lawyer is not fighting for you. There are ways to force the children back to MS until court is over. You're right about the courts there. I grew up there and know it's mommy biased. There are ways around that though, and some of our long- time members can steer you in the right direction.

ocean

I agree, lawyer just filed regular paperwork and not sure if  you can undo that now. Lawyer should of filed emergency temporary custody with a restraining order to keep kids in home school. Family court does not have common sense. Not really sure what you can do now.... maybe go sit in the family court waiting area and find a no nonsense lawyer. Watch, and ask around. Go get a second opinion but really you will need a lawyer that will go against what the first one did.
Have you seen kids since then?

jcompz

We filed the emergency temporary paperwork, and that's when she said "she carried them in her belly for 9 months, I'm not going to take them away from her now". She gave me 2 weeks worth of visitation from July til November.

tigger

Quote from: jcompz on Nov 07, 2011, 09:26:05 AM
she said "she carried them in her belly for 9 months, I'm not going to take them away from her now".

I question the logic and sound judgement of any judge who doesn't even know where the mother carried the babies.  Babies are generally carried in the womb . . . not the belly.  And just because she has the capacity to carry a child to term, it doesn't automatically follow that she's capable of raising that child for 18 years to become a fully functioning, healthy, self-sustaining adult.  An incubator can bring a chicken egg to the point of hatching and even help out the little chicks but that same incubator would kill that chick if not removed before becoming a full grown chicken.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!

brwneyedmom

Excellent logic, Tigger! I'm a farm girl and got it right away.

Davy

#8
Hmmm !  I'm an ole farm boy and might suggest the judge is also from the farm but only saw a sow poppin out those piglets. 

Kitty C.

Being an Iowa farmer's daughter, I agree wholeheartedly!  Love the analogy, tigger!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

jcompz

I was a stay at home dad with my kids until January of this year, at which time they went to daycare. With my job, it took me out of town a lot, and there were times I would come home to rotting food on the table, dried used tampons in the hallway, and even a time when I came home to my son chewing on a USED applicator while my ex was sitting on the couch oblivious to what was going on. I got papers from her attorney today stating that according to her, she was the primary caregiver of them since birth, I am unfit, was hardly home, that she is an excellent parent, lied about dates (even stated her mother lived with us!), etc... I am so glad that I took pictures of the way she kept the home during the few months before she took off (made a separate and completely private facebook, and posted them on there immediately after taking them for proof of when I took them and also have a witness that I had to hire to come in and clean the home weekly while I was working so that my kids would live in a sanitary place). I asked for a continuance because I am waiting on a subpoena for some records that would really benefit my case and it was granted today because her attorney wanted it too, so tomorrow all I have to do is fight to see my kids for the next few months until the next hearing in Feb. Based off everything I now have and the motivation I have given my attorney (I have a friend studying as a paralegal that found a new law here that my lawyer didn't know about regarding basis for appeals and a recusal that would help my case in the event this judge keeps on her same path), my attorney is quite confident that I am going to win and my kids will be home in February for good!

ocean

Ok, I do not want to bust you bubble but you really need to go see another lawyer just to talk. A lawyer saying the kids are coming home in February will probably not happen. Family court usually does not follow common sense. The Feb hearing may get postponed or you may go and just have a little pow wow just to see where you are at, and if one side will cave in and come to agreement with each other. It usually takes months and months to get to a full day trial with witnesses.

The biggest issue is the judge is allowing the kids to stay with mom and not return. Did you show those pictures at the emergency hearing? If the kids are school age, it will be very hard for a judge to pull them from the middle of the year.

You are right though about tomorrow, focus on when you get kids to trial. Exact dates, pick up time and place. See if you can get it in writing. Thanksgiving and Christmas break plus they may have a winter break in February. Look at their school calendar.

Good luck!

jcompz

They aren't school aged. They aren't even in day care with her. They stay with her mother nearly 24/7 while she goes to work & parties. At the emergency hearing, she didn't let much talking happen at all, she pretty much immediately dismissed the entire thing and said to file a basic motion and go set a date. I didn't get to say a single word.

Today was interesting. My ex wanted me to have very limited visitation with the kids until the next hearing: Thanksgiving at HER house if I flew up for the day, Christmas at HER house if I flew up for the day and that was it. Her reasoning was because the children had ant bites on their feet last time they went home and her attorney claimed neglect. Ok, I live on 43 acres of farm land and we spend a lot of time outside. Shoes or no shoes, you're gonna get bit. My attorney started to speak on my behalf and the judge waived him off and said don't bother "This is Mississippi. That's not neglect, that's living!". Then they tried to say that they were concerned about driving in the weather and the judge said that she can't predict the weather and unless the weather is bad enough for roads to be closed, she better be at the meeting place. I got a week for Thanksgiving, the week before Christmas, and the last week of January until the hearing in February!

naturluvr58

It doesn't sound very ethical...it sounds biased to me. Courts generally hate to admonish a judge, esp being accused by someone with little knowledge of law. Keep your finger on the pulse....keep every record you can. talk to teachers, doctors, daycare workers etc....Yes, it, dog ****. I am a NCP. There is a book written about how judges think...if I can remember it, I will post it. Play to the judges sense of what is what is fair and right for the kids. There is a sentence or 2 that will make her take a 2nd look......think! you emotionally vested, that the advantage of lawyers...it's a chess game. no urgency as you have. Have some one neutral look at it. Maybe a law student, a retired lawyer...ask around. I won by many hours studying the judge in family court, reading decisions, books, talking to teachers...anyone who interacts with my kids etc....after 31/2 yrs, things are finally pretty good. But ....yes family court is a joke..