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Advice needed

Started by calmcoolcollected, May 08, 2006, 12:20:12 AM

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calmcoolcollected

I am just recently seperated from my child's BM. We weren't married, but resided together for 1 year.

She is pursuing support through the attorney general and a state mediator (TX). I assume she is seeking sole custody, but I am confused on what types of custody arrangements are assumed through this program. I haven't signed anything yet and want joint legal custody.

I do not mind that the child resides with BM as a primary and do not mind paying support as she is a good mother and has a flexible schedule.I do not want her to have the ability to up and move away with my child. Nor do I want her to have the ability to deny me from medical records or decisions affecting our child's welfare.

What do I need to seek for custodial purposes?

Aggiedad

I am from Texas and when you go through the Attorney Generals office of Texas your court order is generally vague and is the standard order which allows for a ton of misinterrupations.  My advice from you is to do it when you get a divorce and have a board certified family law attorney work with you and Ex to come to an agreement that you can esecentually live with for 18 years (or until your child turns 18).  I went that route the first time and I am now paying out the wazoo (pardon expression) for the changes (and I also have custody).

I would look around and talk with people on here about what they have put in their order that has worked for them and what they have found they needed.

For example:
1. Gerographic residential boundaries limited to the current county in which you and your ex reside.

2. Extensive Medical coverage papers clearly stating who provides medical supprt, how to handle timely repayment for medical support, including but not limited to medical, dental, vision, and hearing.

3. How to handle as the child gets older and wants to participate in school activities and be involved with friends.

4. What each of you is allowed to do containing medical, school, psychological, and any other impprtant records pertaining to the child.

This is just some thoughts that I had.  but check with your attorney!

patton

Texas is basically a joint custody state, unless the other parent pushes hard the and the NCP agrees.

The Attorney General's office will offer a standard visitation agreement most of time.  Depending on what the CP pushes for in the agreement.

And it's vague on a lot of issues as Aggiedad said.

If you agree and CP agrees to joint custody, have your OWN order with you that day with several copies when you meet with the AG.  If you two still get along fairly well then you might let CP read a more detailed agreement.  In the long run it will benefit both the CP & NCP and the child.


ocean

I agree with the others but I would also state exactly when you get your parenting time. Right now you two are fine but what happens when one of you start dating and things could get ugly (hopefully not but most of us have been there). If you have everything in writing the easier your like should be. Ex. Father gets child for summer visits starting on June 1 at 9AM until XXX). Also who picks up and drops off child? WHat happens at school age and will visitation need to be changed? If so, put it in now. When child get to Kindergarten, visitaion will be XXX" What about if she signs child up for pre-school?

What you want for the medical part in called "joint legal custody" which most states are leaning toward unless one parent is proven unfit. "Joint physical" is when you both share custody (maybe one week on, on week off). If she asks for "sole" custody, that means she want all legal say (education and medical).

Good luck!