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How do I fine out what my rights as an aunt are

Started by sweetheart1476, Mar 20, 2012, 12:37:35 PM

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sweetheart1476

So here is the situation . My sister and her now ex fiance lived together with my niece .My sister was arrested for some things that her fiance did not know was going on or so he says. Well a few hours after my sister was arrested CPS came and took my niece from the home .

For really no justifiable reason that I can see .When I contacted the CPS worker to see if I could take my niece instead of her going to Polinsky center.The lady told me no. She said because of my past drug history they would not place her with me. Even though I have been clean for over 3 years and was willing to test.When I asked if I could go see her I was told no again. When I asked why? she replied with," cause that was simply the decision they (her and her boss) decided" . 

My mom teaches in Iraq, as soon as she heard what happen she took an emergency leave of absence during finals and flew home.When she tried to get temporary custody, CPS said it would be to hard to do a background check on her cause of where she lives. Even though she lived in CA for over 44 years and only has one speeding  ticket on her record .When we asked if my uncle who is a retired Navy Doctor could get custody they said no with no reason.After my niece was held at Polinsky center for 30 days they moved her  up north  away from everything she knows  with the fathers parents which is fine cause we are all just happy she is out of Polinsky center.

The problem is .with my sister in jail and my mom back over seas i am the only one here to fight for my sisters side of the family to have visitation rights .But no one will tell me anything .they wont give me court dates they still wont let me see her they wont even tell me if she is ok.the worst part is that the father is only 21 and is very angry with my sister and wants to punish the whole family .

He has even gone as far as to say that my niece will grow up thinking her mom is dead and that my family does not care and by his parents actions I don't think they will do anything but encourage this.My niece means a lot to me and my family and we are all cursed that the father is acting like this all we want is to be able to visit her and my mom would like to be able to have her for at least a month out of the summer since she is only here 3 months out of the year.

So I ask,"Is my family without rights?, and can CPS shut me out like this? I have done nothing wrong.

Kitty C.

CPS can shut you out because, since the mother and father are involved, you have no rights.  Now, if your sister give you Power of Atty. to make decisions for her, maybe you might be able to get some things done with the court.  But until your sister is out of jail and can appear herself, I don't think there is a whole lot you can do.

As for the father's actions, many here have dealt with angry, vindictive exes, so what you've described is not uncommon.  Unless and until your sister can get a court order regarding custody and visitation, I'm afraid that things will probably stay the same.  And the family court system is not a speedy process.

Given that your mother (the child's grandmother) is only here 3 months out of the year, the only suggestion I would have is for her to talk to the father's family when she returns to the states if she wants to see the child.  Keep in mind it would probably have to be on their terms if there is no CO in place.  Grandparents rights are hard, if not impossible, to get in most states.  Your mom needs to be realistic here.....her having the child for a whole month out of the summer would, in my opinion, be virtually impossible.  Most often, grandparents can see the child when the child is with the parent who currently has parenting time.

You and your family are learning the hard way that CPS has their own set of rules...and it often has no reasoning, either.  Common sense does NOT apply when it comes to family court.  The best advice I could give would be for your sister to do whatever it takes to get out of jail and get the court process started.  She already has one big strike against her with having a criminal history.  Do not be surprised if the father tries to have her parental rights completely taken away.  BUT....realize I said 'try'....just because the father says he's going to do this or that doesn't make it true.  The bottom line is what can be established through a custody order.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

sillystring

Have you talked to an attorney? It would need to be an attorney in the state where the child is currently in.

How involved were you and/or your mom in this child's life before all of this happened?

If your mom saw the child regularly when she was not in Iraq, I don't think it's unreasonable that she would be able to fight for grandparents' visitation rights (which would in turn grant you access to the child - as the aunt, I am not sure if there's anything you can file for). However, it really depends on the state.