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Author Topic: Irrational mother requesting emergency visitation modification  (Read 2394 times)

Massstepmother

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I am a very involved stepmother who has been involved in the life of my almost 7 year old step son for the past 5 years.  His father and I have been married for almost 3 years and we have a 1 year old son.  There is a court order for joint legal custody and shared parenting with equal time in both households since 2008, this arrangement has been working well with some minor but resolvable disagreements.

This past month there was an incident in our home that was reported by the child to the child's mother and she is acting as if this incident is a form of abuse (nothing physical).  My husband has tried to talk to the child's mother to explain the incident that occurred in our home understanding her feelings of being upset when hearing the information incorrectly.  The childs mother has since made an emergency visitation modification request to stop all overnight visits and only publicly supervised visits stating that the child only wants to be in her home.  His father has asked numerous times if her reports are true and the child denys.  After trying again to discuss the incident, she still refuses to understand the incident as reported by the child's father and is reporting myself as a danger to the court.  The scheduled court date is next week.  The child still visits during the week and on his normal weekends in our home.  The child does not show any trauma or change in behavior or emotions since this incident.  It seems like the child's mother only wants to be "mad" and make demands based on her feelings, where we would like to move forward acknowledging what happened and working on a future solution. 

My concern is the way the court will percieve this allegation of abuse, with no physical evidence.  Also, the child's mother seems to have an insecurity complex of some sort.  She is constantly referring herself as "I am the mother" and the child as "my son" and never refers to him by name. I am concerned on how to best manage these issues of inferiority to avoid any future issues; her wanting to control the child more and more seems like it will continue to make life difficult for not only the child but myself and his father.  Any advise is appreciated!!!!  :)


sunlitbeauty

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Re: Irrational mother requesting emergency visitation modification
« Reply #1 on: Jan 28, 2013, 02:24:11 PM »
Please let me know how your situation turns out!
I am a father who lives in BC who has been falsely accused of sexual abuse of my now 9 year old daughter who lives with my mother.
I am a retired veteran of the Canadian Forces who lives on a limited pension.
I support my wife and three children (excluding my 9 year old daughter), aged 6yrs, 3yrs and 1 yrs old.
I do not have money due to my limited income for the services of an attorney, and my mother is denying access to my daughter at present.
Are there any advocates in Canada that could help me with this situation?
I do not believe that it is in the best interests of my daughter to not be able to see me.
This is not the first time that my mom has disobeyed a court order, and denied access.
It is my hope that there might be an advocate out there that could help me with this delicate situation.
The incident was submitted to protective services (Called The Ministry of Children and Families up here in Canada), and it was immediately dismissed by them. There was never an order, nor an investigation. This would probably be due to the fact that nothing has ever occurred of this nature between myself and my daughter. As I stated, I have three other children that I live with with my wife of 7 years. My other daughter would never say anything of this nature about me, as I am a very loving father and I have never abused my children. I have abused myself in doing back breaking work in order to support my family (12 hours shifts doing concrete hi-rise forming, ie. building towers) out of love for my kids to be able to have a good life, and to have the things that they need. I joined the military after the recession back in 2008 destroyed any chance I had of employment as a Journeyman Carpenter. I was injured while serving in the Canadian Forces, and I now live on a very limited income to support my wife and four children with. This issue came up around Christmas, and my oldest daughter has not received her presents to this date, and I am afraid to the amount of brainwashing that my mother (her grandmother) is subjecting her to.
I am afraid that if this is allowed to go too far, that my other three kids may lose access to me, their loving father. I have read about cases where the judge has decided to remove access in family court even when no clear evidence of a sexual offence is present. I served my country, had my livelihood taken away from me due to the severe nature of my injury(chronic pain in my lower back and left leg, which is partially paralyzed, plus three compressed discs from my military service), and now I am having the one thing threatened that I value more than anything else...access to my children, and their right to have their father, a true family man, taken away from them!

 

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