1) I am Anthony, residing in Southern California. I have been divorced since 2006, and parent to two children, the oldest 14 (daughter), youngest 11 (son). In my Ex's and my divorce decrement, I received 50/50 physical and legal custody
2) I have since re-married to a wonderful and supporting wife, my children have gotten along with my current wife until the summer of 2011 which I had 60% physical custody
of my children for the year of 2011. During this timeframe, my children had started to act out, trying to disrupt my current home and blended family which they have 3 siblings. When my two children started to act out, I found that they openly admitted that their mom and their plan was to move out of my home when the "timing" was right.
3) After the beginning of the year, my daughter (14) started to steal money from my wife and I, when I tried to discuss this with her mom among other acting out,(too much make-up, wearing of revealing cloths) I was ignored. My wife and I were lost as we did not know what was going on, I still continued to have my children in my home 50% of the time. Then my two children, started acting out against their siblings to further cause disruption of our blended family. From there, my wife and I started parenting counseling, which was extremely effective in enabling us to deal with the huge disruption to our home and life. When my therapist suggested sitting down with my two children, and explaining to them that their acting out and lack of respect within my household, that they should take some time and spend more days with their mom on a temporary basis. I explained to them that was TEMPORARY and definitely not a long term solution. My daughter immediately admitted that once the weekend was over, and they were back in their mom's house, she was going to contact me and demand that my two children WILL stay with her. (after learning that from my oldest child) I now see that this was a plan all along. Reason being, my two children when at their moms home, there is no rules or consequences, which they liked their life there better as there is no structure, homework checked, no internet or gaming restrictions.
4) I tried to discuss the concerns that I had with my Ex, wanting only temporarily for her to have them during the week so I could get my home and family back in order. She notified me that our children did not want to come back to my house and that she was filing a Custody Modification with the courts immediately to keep my children with her without me receiving any visitation or custody.
5) I was served papers which took over a month for me to be served in March 2012, with Family Mediation to attend in April and Court date May. Once in mediation, I heard again from my EX that my children were not willing to come to my home, that they were afraid of how I would react and treat them. Just a week before Mediation, my daughter was picked up by local sheriff's station for shoplifting. When I contacted my EX about our daughter being picked up, I learned that it occurred while she was with my ex-wife. I brought this up during Mediation, and did not receive any feedback from the court appointed mediator. I tried to explain to them that my children have been psychologically turned against me due to their mothers bitterness to me and my current wife.
6) The mediator interviewed my children a few days later, and many stories were fabricated amongst my son, daughter and EX. The mediators recommendation was for me to have 8% physical custody after attending family counseling (which the counselor would have to make a court appearance) that our relationship between my children and I was better and they would have to choose to come back to my home. I was completely distraught, not only did I then realize that my children have chosen their mom due to her lack of parenting and acting more as a friend to them, that they totally despised my home and family which I have had for 4 years. From there, I was notified by my EX, she will be filing for additional child support
when we were in front of a judge.
7) While documenting the fallout of my relationship with my children, lack of seeing them, while attending our court date, the judge accepted the mediators recommendation, but suggested to me that counseling with my children would assist the re-building of our relationship and once a counselor approves, I should re-file to change the8% custody for more. I was also hit with a 400% increase of child support. I was distraught when we were dismissed from court. I filled out properly all of the court required documentation, tried to explain what was happening and in the end, I totally lost. My children 14 and 11 have been brainwashed. This is not in their best interest. I have a mortgage and life with my wife and her children that I can no longer afford. This will put a drastic change let alone could be permanently disastrous for my marriage.
I am currently awaiting the court paperwork from my recent lost battle to re-file for an immediate adjustment to child support to a more affordable rate, I will be attending family counseling per judgment, but what else can I do??