Granted it only works when you're dealing with two mentally and emotionally healthy people. When I went through my separation/divorce I refused to date until 6 months after the divorce was final. (divorce took 18 months, was only supposed to take 12). I didn't see any point in dragging anyone else into my situation (3 was already too many) and I wanted to heal from the hurt before giving my heart to anyone. Also, having the drop off and pick ups at my ex in-laws for a while after the initial break up helped also. It kept my focus on the best interests of the boys and not on making his life miserable. My dad gave me excellent advice. 1) The best revenge is living well. 2) You and M are divorcing. Period. The boys aren't divorcing either parent or either set of grandparents. 3) No badmouthing the ex or the new stepparents. The boys will develop their own opinion without you. 4) Don't try to make his life miserable. He runs from problems rather than facing them and fixing them. It's easier to fix a bad marriage than it is to divorce, remarry and try to make that one work. His life will be miserable without your help and he'll have no one but himself to blame.
Daddy was right.
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