Custody Hearing

[soccergen13]

I have been separated since April.  My wife won't let me see or talk to my children.  We have a custody hearing in August.  It is imperative that I get full or 50% joint custody.  I need advice.

[Simplydad]

Joint custody should be automatic.  When you go to your hearing make sure you print all the evidence you have that shows you have made attempts to see your children but your wife STBX has refused.  A judge is not going to like the fact she has kept the kids from you. 

I am assuming there are not exstinuating circumstances that cause her to keep the kids from you.  Has she given a reason as to why she is not letting you see the kids?  What are the ages?

At a minimum you should get standard visitation which is at least 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends.  As I mentioned earlier you should get joint custody which gives you right to make the same decisions you STBX does.  If she asks for sole custody you will need to object to that.

What state are you in? Do you have an attorney?

[DadsCrushed]

Be careful here. The court may offer her sole custody because of the "status quo" of her being the sole provider. My ex pulled that with me and got full. My advice to you is to get your kids. I'm not stating include them as a pawn but by all means they are your children as well and you are legally entitled access barring some unknown element. I agree to demonstrate attempts to see your children but the status quo was used in my case. Hopefully you will have a judge see through the vile attempts of the mother.

[Kitty C.]

If there are NO current orders...and if the kids are in daycare or school...then there is nothing stopping you from seeing them there.  Probably would make the ex go ballistic and she would probably try to get the daycare or school to refuse you access (which she canNOT do, only a judge can)...so you have to weigh the options that would be best for the kids, since they would be present.  But.....if you do try to see them there, make sure you take someone with you (preferably a family member, NOT a GF) AND some kind of recording device, preferrably a camcorder.  To prove that your intent is ONLY to see the children and that you were calm, cool, and collected.....vs. the ex's 'response'.

[soccergen13]

@Simplydad - I do have a lawyer.  I have notes that I left.  They include other information. I have twins and they are 7.  I am in PA.  I do have a lawyer, but I want to make sure that I have a strategy and all information that could help me to win custody.  Any other information you or and anyone else may have would be greatly appreciated.

[ocean]

Does she have a lawyer? Maybe your lawyer can call or request days you will see the children until court as it is in the best interest of the children to see both parents. Request time with your ex in writing, emails, texts. Offer to meet at a public place where she can stay for the first visit (just to see your kids, do whatever it takes).

[soccergen13]

I do not know if she has a lawyer.  She has moved and I have no idea where she has gone.  My lawyer assured me that she was served with the court papers, but that is about all that I know.  I do have a couple of notes requesting to see the girls.

[ocean]

Ask your lawyer for copies of the served paperwork and where they served her to be mailed to you (or pick them up-faster). Talk to the secretary so it wont cost so much.
Go to the kids last school and ask for a copy of the transfer papers to the new school. She would have to discharge them from old school and enroll in new school. Then go to new school and get copies of all enrollment forms your ex filled out. Bring their birth certificates as proof that you are their father, that is all you need for a public school, it is a federal law that parents have access to school files. See if ex put you down on the paperwork, also will have her new address and phone number.