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false allegations

Started by lostnlonely, Sep 23, 2012, 02:50:49 PM

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lostnlonely

Wife left home and took kids. She accused me of Domestic Violence and put a OFP in place. Civil court said no evidence of D.V. Still have pending criminal. Wife says I'm an alcoholic and now after many weeks accusing me of being abusive father. I have not seen kids in 2 months. She wants me to leave home and have no access to kids or home. All these allegations are lies. There has been infidelity in our marriage but no abuse other than from her on me after affair. Should I leave home and let family move back. No divorce filing as of yet. Not sure if she is waiting to use that as trump card or if she does not want to file. We have not spoken for 2 months either. I have always been an active father and now i have been cast out of kids lives. I have attorney for criminal D.V. but no family attorney. She has hired a family attorney but I have spent all my money trying to stay out of jail.

Please Help

ocean

Stay in house....copy all records you may need, back taxes, paystubs.

File in family court for joint custody and parenting (visitation) plan. You can do this yourself in the family court nearest you (ask what office does filings). Here is is free, some states a small fee to file. You may have to serve her the papers but that will cost $50-100 for a company to serve her. Then you will get a court date.

Is the restraining order still active? Does it include the kids?
If it is, no contact except in court. Do not accept phone calls or offers to meet somewhere, you can be arrested.
If there is no more restraining order, you can go to the kids schools to get info on how they are doing and be at public school functions (meet teacher night, field trips, school parties) and allowed at activities. Stay on other side of ex, be there for your kids.

Ask the criminal lawyer what it would take to end it, ask for trial now or offer now. Tell lawyer you want this part over so you can move on and not have this on you when you head to family court. Most times, criminal part will just have you show up once a month and if you are good, it will be dropped eventually...like in a year!

When you get to family court, you can hire a lawyer or see if you qualify for legal aid. You can also represent yourself and just say you want to be an active father. Since it is family court, they will deal with the parenting plan and not the divorce. In your filing papers, ask that the judge set a temporary order to see kids until trial this way you are not waiting months to see kids and her lawyer stalls. If there is no RO, you can call her lawyer and ask when you can see your kids, give lots of options, public place for an hour to start...take anything given to you. If ex is afraid, tell lawyer someone else can drop off the kids at a public place.

DadsCrushed

My ex psycho pullled this garbage. Agree with other comment . . . file. Ideally you do not want to leave the house because that is a factor used in determining custody. Light a fire under your attorney and get this tossed; more likely since the ex parte was denied and criminal has an even higher standard. I would also suggest you reach out to CPS and inform them that you want them to maintain all records beyond their ordinary scope. More than likely your ex will claim abuse of the children next. Get in family court immediately. Keep all your records. Keep all your attempts at contacting your children, if currently allowed. I hate to say it but it will get worse before it gets better. Grow a thick skin and get ready for incessant nonsense.

sunlitbeauty

I can relate to your situation, as I am a victim of false allegations as well!
I am a father who lives in BC who has been falsely accused of sexual abuse of my now 9 year old daughter who lives with my mother.
I am a retired veteran of the Canadian Forces who lives on a limited pension.
I support my wife and three children (excluding my 9 year old daughter), aged 6yrs, 3yrs and 1 yrs old.
I do not have money due to my limited income for the services of an attorney, and my mother is denying access to my daughter at present.
Are there any advocates in Canada that could help me with this situation?
I do not believe that it is in the best interests of my daughter to not be able to see me.
This is not the first time that my mom has disobeyed a court order, and denied access.
It is my hope that there might be an advocate out there that could help me with this delicate situation.
The incident was submitted to protective services (Called The Ministry of Children and Families up here in Canada), and it was immediately dismissed by them. There was never an order, nor an investigation. This would probably be due to the fact that nothing has ever occurred of this nature between myself and my daughter. As I stated, I have three other children that I live with with my wife of 7 years. My other daughter would never say anything of this nature about me, as I am a very loving father and I have never abused my children. I have abused myself in doing back breaking work in order to support my family (12 hours shifts doing concrete hi-rise forming, ie. building towers) out of love for my kids to be able to have a good life, and to have the things that they need. I joined the military after the recession back in 2008 destroyed any chance I had of employment as a Journeyman Carpenter. I was injured while serving in the Canadian Forces, and I now live on a very limited income to support my wife and four children with. This issue came up around Christmas, and my oldest daughter has not received her presents to this date, and I am afraid to the amount of brainwashing that my mother (her grandmother) is subjecting her to.
I am afraid that if this is allowed to go too far, that my other three kids may lose access to me, their loving father. I have read about cases where the judge has decided to remove access in family court even when no clear evidence of a sexual offence is present. I served my country, had my livelihood taken away from me due to the severe nature of my injury(chronic pain in my lower back and left leg, which is partially paralyzed, plus three compressed discs from my military service), and now I am having the one thing threatened that I value more than anything else...access to my children, and their right to have their father, a true family man, taken away from them!