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What if she moves?

Started by Thesaurus_Rex, Oct 04, 2006, 10:21:37 AM

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Thesaurus_Rex

I am sooo glad I found this forum!  I went through my divorce without much support- well, not from people who might actually know what they are talking about anyway.

Okay, my question;
My XW and I share joint custody of two young children, we do the 3/4/4/3 split thing.  She makes a lot more money than I do, so she pays me child support and maint since I was the primary care giver prior to the divorce.  The divorce was only finalized a month ago, and now she is already talking about how she thinks her company is sinking and she might have to find another job and relocate.  If she moves to another state, what are my options?  She was awarded educational decision making rights for the children.  If she moves, could she insist that the children go to a school near her, thus requiring them to move to her new city/state?  Where would this leave me?  On the other side of the coin, I was awarded "de facto" religious education of the children, so in this scenario could I turn the tables and insist that they stay put so they can attend church meetings?  Or would these factors not even be part of the issue?  I worry about her alienating me from my kids.  They are already starting to make comments which show this to be the case- and she is just smart enough to do it in subtle ways which will make it difficult for me to prove.
We all currently reside in Colorado.
Thanks!

Sherry1


4honor

You have ot remember that the courts have one main ideal about raising kids: "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

She will have to prove that there is a substantial chnge in the circumstances of YOU or the KIDS (not her work schedule) in order to get a modification this soon after court order. If she could prove some kind of abuse, that is something affecting the kids. If she could prove you have interefered with her court ordered parenting time, that is a change in YOUR life. Get the picture?

If she moves, she will have to prove that her being allowed to move and upsetting the 50/50 custody and the kids' school, homes, church and social lives will be harmed LESS by the move than the harm they would likely suffer from leaving things the way they are, or her extracting herself from the equation in order to move. (e.g., they will lose some significant contact with either one parent, OR with one parent AND their church, school, friends, nearby relatives, etc.)

Usually, the parent paying CS is considered the NCP (even in 50/50 situations.)  Your state may be different, so get a "free" 30 minute consult with an attorney in your area and ask some questions.

Frequently, judges order the parent moving to shoulder the additional costs of transportation. If she moves, she will likely have to reduce her time share with the kids and pay for the difference in the distance.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.

Thesaurus_Rex

I am sooo glad I found this forum!  I went through my divorce without much support- well, not from people who might actually know what they are talking about anyway.

Okay, my question;
My XW and I share joint custody of two young children, we do the 3/4/4/3 split thing.  She makes a lot more money than I do, so she pays me child support and maint since I was the primary care giver prior to the divorce.  The divorce was only finalized a month ago, and now she is already talking about how she thinks her company is sinking and she might have to find another job and relocate.  If she moves to another state, what are my options?  She was awarded educational decision making rights for the children.  If she moves, could she insist that the children go to a school near her, thus requiring them to move to her new city/state?  Where would this leave me?  On the other side of the coin, I was awarded "de facto" religious education of the children, so in this scenario could I turn the tables and insist that they stay put so they can attend church meetings?  Or would these factors not even be part of the issue?  I worry about her alienating me from my kids.  They are already starting to make comments which show this to be the case- and she is just smart enough to do it in subtle ways which will make it difficult for me to prove.
We all currently reside in Colorado.
Thanks!

Sherry1


4honor

You have ot remember that the courts have one main ideal about raising kids: "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

She will have to prove that there is a substantial chnge in the circumstances of YOU or the KIDS (not her work schedule) in order to get a modification this soon after court order. If she could prove some kind of abuse, that is something affecting the kids. If she could prove you have interefered with her court ordered parenting time, that is a change in YOUR life. Get the picture?

If she moves, she will have to prove that her being allowed to move and upsetting the 50/50 custody and the kids' school, homes, church and social lives will be harmed LESS by the move than the harm they would likely suffer from leaving things the way they are, or her extracting herself from the equation in order to move. (e.g., they will lose some significant contact with either one parent, OR with one parent AND their church, school, friends, nearby relatives, etc.)

Usually, the parent paying CS is considered the NCP (even in 50/50 situations.)  Your state may be different, so get a "free" 30 minute consult with an attorney in your area and ask some questions.

Frequently, judges order the parent moving to shoulder the additional costs of transportation. If she moves, she will likely have to reduce her time share with the kids and pay for the difference in the distance.
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.