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Question about Birth Certificate

Started by durandal, Mar 30, 2007, 02:44:58 PM

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durandal

I'm the proud dad (NCP) of a 10-month old girl. Mother (CP),  custody/visitation is contested. Child born out of wedlock and I was the victim of the primary parent trap - never given a fair chance to parent outside of CP's home.

In case you want more history, search posts by durandal - a few of you will probably already be familiar with my case.

Question:

The CP has not yet paid for and sent off for a birth certificate, probably because she doesn't even have any state issued identification to verify who she is. Now I can do this, get a birth certificate for our child, and have no problem in doing so.

Problem is that our child's name has always been a point of centention, and the CP, in a sneaky way, gave the hospital, pediatrician, etc. the name she had chosen BEFORE we had a chance to agree. This is how she operates in general.

If I get the birth certificate, I want the name to reflect a compromise, but the CP NEVER compromises - she just stalls until she feels she has a chance or leverage to do what she wants to do.

Have any of you any thoughts/opinions on this? How do you think these decisions will affect the custody situation?

Thanks for taking the time...

durandal

HelpingHands

The name on the birth certificate is what it is until the parents(those listed on the BC) petition the court for a name change. If you want it changed and she doesn't, there's nothing you can do about it.

I don't see how the child's name has anything to do with a court custody/visitation hearing. My name isn't even on my daughter's birth certificate and she has her mother's maiden name. Even though our daughter has asked to have my last name at different times in her 8 yrs of life, I can do NOTHING to change that unless the mother agrees to change it and THAT won't happen.

durandal

The birth certificate hasn't been sent to Central Records yet, to my understanding. But I am the biological father, and I can confirm that with a paternity test that is binding in any court.

So you're telling me that I can't do anything about the situation at this point, correct? Well, if that's the case then I'll just have to add that to my atty's "to do" list.

Thanks for the information!

d

thesmithfamily_5

Actually, in Texas if when the child was born she was given BM's maiden name, the father can contest at the paternity hearing and have it changed to his name. Not sure what state you are in, but that's how it works here. Also, I'm not sure if age has anything to do with the matter or not, but on my husband's oldest child's paternity papers it actually says to change the name to his and the baby was about 18 months old.

wysiwyg

ok maybe I missed something here, but when I gave birth - the hospital sent in the infomraiton to the records bureau and even sent in to have SS #'s issued to my kids.  I am not sure if you answerd this or not, but can you start with the hospital and ask their protocol regarding this?  I would asume that they have record of who the BM is since they have to bill someone, whether it is insurance or state assistance or self pay.  If the hospital can offer no information - call the records bureau and ask what you need to do to have a BC issued for your child.  And as a secondary thought, request and pay for if necessary 2 copies.  That way you will always have one incase BM refuses to give you one.  I have 2 copies and I needed that second one when my older ones went on their own to the military.  


durandal

>ok maybe I missed something here, but when I gave birth - the
>hospital sent in the infomraiton to the records bureau and
>even sent in to have SS #'s issued to my kids.  

I arrived at the hospital several hours after the birth.

BM had the child before I was able to make it to the hospital, called me and said that she had the child - and wanted me to stop at the dept. store beforehand to pick up things that we would need. Little did I know that she was filling out our daughters' personal info w/ hospital staff in my absence. When I arrived, the things she wanted me to pick up suddenly weren't all that important...

Since we aren't married, I didn't want to sign the BC in the hospital before having a paternty test, especially since she had on several occassions mentioned how she was sleeping with other guys and so on... plus I was already PO'd about her filling out the documents, which I learned about from another nurse late into the night.

Fast forward - since paternity was established nine months ago, I've tried on several occasions to communicate and compromise with the BM about getting baby's documents in order - but typically she always stalls. So just last week, only a week before our home studies - she wants to get the birth certificate taken care of. I told her that, unless we had some serious compromise, that I wouldn't sign the document - but would contest our daughter's name and add my name only after it is heard by the courts.

Now I admit, I want the child to have mt last name - she's my first child, and already being a older first father do I want that - just being honest. Besides, the BM's had four other chances to be a responsible parent, doesn't have custody of any of them except my little jewel (temporary pending custody determination) and hasn't changed for the better one bit for any of their sakes.

But I also detest the sneaky, deplorable behavior the BM has used since day one to make sure she has a taxpayer paycheck courtesy of me and our child. IMHO that's her sole motivation.