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frequent and continuing contact

Started by PopPop, Feb 27, 2015, 09:54:20 AM

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PopPop

Hello, Thank you for creating this resource.  Lots of great information and advise here.

If I may, I would like to ask for some opinions.
We are dealing with a CP move away situation.

Quick background...
Child is not quite 3 yrs old, mother is CP.  Parenting plan was approved when child was 6 months old.  Father has above average parenting time, which is always exercised and has been active part of child's life since conception.  CS is current, has never been behind.  Child has great bond with both parents and extended family.

CP remarried into the military ~ a year ago and wants to relocate to be with new husband over 1000 miles away. None of the common legitimate reasons for relocation exist - the argument is, per CP, to start a new family (she is also expecting).  CP and new husband have never cohabited, only weekend visit when possible.  All the typical alienation, nasty allegations, and general difficulties exist with CP.  There has been several ex parte - protective order attempts, all of which have been denied.  Each one with a goal of preventing NCP from being aloud time with child.

At a recent hearing the master spoke of "frequent and continuing contact" and alluded to the meaning of 'contact' to be not only physical but phone or video chat as well.  I have been looking for a court case, or supporting documentation, or anything that would help define contact when referring to parent child relationship at age 3 - 5.  Phone and video chat obviously cannot replace a hug or quality time coloring or jumping in a muddy puddle.  Perhaps it's appropriate for an older child, teenage or preteen, but at this age its pretty much useless to maintain the parent\child bond. 

Any suggestions how to counter the claim that electronic communications is equal to actually spending real quality time together?

Thanks!


tigger

Quote from: PopPop on Feb 27, 2015, 09:54:20 AM
At a recent hearing the master spoke of . . . .

The "master"?  What country are you in?  No one can really offer sound advice until we're sure of which country.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!

PopPop

Sorry its the US - marital master is what I meant.   ;)

tigger

Ah, I see.  I thought you were referring to an officer of the court. 

Are you in a position of being able to take on custody should the judge rule that the mom can move but the child must stay in the area?  You may have an argument for the child having established family ties in the area.  Also, if you have a ready made support system whereas the mom may not should she live in parts unknown.  Plus there's the stability question of not know how ofter or to where the husband/stepfather would be stationed.
The wonderful thing about tiggers is I'm the only one!

PopPop

Thank you for your thoughts.

"Are you in a position of being able to take on custody should the judge rule that the mom can move but the child must stay in the area?" 
Yes, modification of parental responsibilities is part of our objection.

"You may have an argument for the child having established family ties in the area.  Also, if you have a ready made support system whereas the mom may not should she live in parts unknown." 
Absolutely true, a large support system will lost by the move

"Plus there's the stability question of not know how ofter or to where the husband/stepfather would be stationed."
Also true, and being used

ocean

Is her family near you?
Many move-aways are denied but since she already married and pregnant throw a spin on it.

How far are we talking? miles? airplane ride? hours apart?

Are you in a full trial? (not sure what a master is. Sounds like mediation). If it is mediation, you can listen to what they have to say but always can request a trial with a judge.

PopPop

Thanks Ocean.

Yes her family is local to the current location.
The distance of proposed location is either side of a thousand miles away.

I missed a word in the original post, master = marital master (judge).  Yes we are in a full trial, lawyers, GAL appointed, the whole deal.  It's been going on for nearly a year.  Pregnancy is a new development.

MixedBag

Retired military here....passports come to mind.

The active duty member might also get stationed overseas and then the mom and child will want to follow....and she will need dad's signature for a passport.

I think the first stance to take is to say "Mom you may go, but the child stays."

1.  Mom pays for all transportation.

2.  parenting time in terms of time stays the same but gets lumped together differently.

3.  Video chatting and stuff -- is really "new" and I doubt that there are cases -- and that case has to be from YOUR state.

4.  Even long distance plans are totally tailored to the situation.

5.  A child that you can't fly by themselves -- so the order must be clear in that an adult has to accompany the child each way -- who has to do that?  (IMHO Mom....mom moves, mom pays.....etc).

Just some thoughts....in case you have to settle....or come to an agreement.

My first divorce was me military dad military and we split transportation because heck, we were both gonna move for the next upteen years.  ALL was fine, until he moved to Germany and there went my "budget" -- tickets round trip non-stop are about $1500 (guess who wanted to go next year and nearly died over the price).  SpaceA is NOT an option -- if she brings it up -- because of the unknown factor, kid can't fly by themselves....etc....  Feel free to PM me if you want any "military" translations to what they might want to pin on the military.