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Author Topic: hi i'm in idaho,i have a stepson and my husband and i have a daughter together  (Read 12023 times)

anne

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hi like i said were in idaho and theres not a whole lot of idahoans on here, so i will tell you that my husband and i are both 24 yrs old......when my husband was 15 yrs old  he got a 19yr old girl pregnant, but since my husbands mom didn't want to risk never seeing her first grandchild (and also since my stepsons grandmother and my husbands mom were friends my stepsons grandmother also babysat my husband and his sisters when they were younger) well she didnt press any charges, and no one in the system seemed to care/notice the age difference anyways so when health &welfare came after my husband for child support and realized that my husband was only 16 by the time my stepson was due, they only asked him to pay a small amount of child support until my husband graduated from highschool , which he has been paying on-time since then, which he started paying a month before his son was even born.
   well my husband and i had a child together 2 yrs later, yes if you can calculate that it was during our senior year, but we both still graduated right after our daughter was born and he still paid the child support on his son which they did raise when he graduated, we still moved out on our own and have been paying all of our bills on time as well as child support in full and on time. and even though we let her continue to claim him on her taxes every year like she has been doing since the year he was born..... and even though we get him as often as we can, we dont get him as much as we are supposed to according to the paperwork, because he cries when he wants to go home, also cries when he doesnt want to stay over night, or he just doesnt want to come over at all, so we dont make him because its in the paper work to not make him if he becomes upset , so they raised the child support again this last year despite the fact that my husband had lost his job and was making min wage and they didnt care that we could barely make ends meet and still cant afford to just live......    i know thats not my stepsons fault or his moms but i think that the system should take all of this into consideration before charging ridiculous amounts of child support.
    i don't mean to seem offensive but my stepsons mom makes about the same amount of money as my husband, she is four yrs older than us yet she still lives with her parents, and she does not have a license still and so my husband is the one that picks up and drops off his son,  she does not have to pay for a car or car insurance, she has her mom at home to watch her son anytime. but the system does not care and does not compare the situations or the fact that my husband has been more responsible than some dads, yet he gets pushed around and treated like he is a deadbeat dad. 
    i dont quite know why the system makes the decisions it makes without considering all of the facts on both sides, they seem to only think that the biological mother is the only one who is suffering, they are hurting everyone involved, the other children suffer too.
   it seems to me that they think that if a dad is not going to stay with the mother then he is screwed, and if the dad cant afford to take care of that child as well as another family, then he should never have another child/family at all! 


 

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