i am going to type out a scenario below and i'm asking everyone to just post and tell me, what would u do?
remember guys; i am a fervent supporter of father's rights, hence the search for moral/ethical guidance here...
child, currently aged 8 (2003)
parents divorced (Spring, 1999)
visitation with this child & father;
1 week, October, 1999
1 day, December, 1999
1 day, Summer 2001
3 phone calls fall 2001
1 weekend, Thanksgiving, 2002
1 weekend, Christmas, 2002
1 weekend, January 2003
1 weekend, February 2003
1 weekend, March, 2003
2 weeks, summer 2003
1 phone call since summer visit
father has 2 other biological children he allowed a stepfather to adot
father has 1 adopted child he phones weekly and visits never
father has always been aware of child's location, telephone number, etc., bio-mom has made numerous requests for father to keep regular visits and contact
bio-mom informed father prior to thanksgiving visit in 2002, if you come back into this child's life and start regular visits for the love of god & this child make sure you stay, child was devastated when dad abandoned child in summer 2001
father wants to know "pop back into child's life", after the 1 phone call child hid in bedroom, mother sat with child and talked, discovered that child is "scared" "concerned" (you choose your best word for 8 yr old feelings) about dad running away again and being alone with dad, understand that at every other "visit" dad has had a different girlfriend, the last one child became very attached to and even though dad broke up with her the child and girlfriend have kept in contact....
what would u do?
1. allow dad whatever access he likes whenever he likes, even though it is causing child anguish that he drops her and runs away for months at a time?
2. ask dad to enter into a "get re-acquainted" plan whereby dad should make several phone calls then visit at mom's house or neutral place, then time alone with child?
3. any other suggestions?
as i said, i believe in father's rights, i have supported my SO through all his battles, however, i also believe that one should be consistent and constant in a child's life, not abandon them whenever the mood suits u..
so, i'm in a moral dilemma here and i was hoping that maybe someone could make a suggestion that might bring alternatives to light whereby this child gets whats best
thanks guys... sorry to make the brains work so early in the am..