Ex got an emergency CPO and wont allow visitation

[jcs904]

A week ago my ex was given an emergency civil protection order against me stating I have been following, calling and generally harrassing her.  She also had her car broken in to in front of her parents house and her radio stolen which she is claiming was done by me.  First of all I pulled all of my phone records for the past two months and it showed that I called an average of 12 times per month (to talk to my two daughters which is court allowed).  I'm not following her (I have more important things to do) and I certainly didnt vandalize her car (and I'm sure she has no way to show I did).
At any rate we went to court yesterday and with tears she told the judge she didnt have an attorney and needed more time to get one so he gave her a 2 week extension on the CPO.  
My problem is that she is using the CPO to frustrate my visitation with my daughters stating I cant come near her to get the kids or I am in violation.  I beleive the reason she got the CPO was out of anger over me filing for a modification of our shared parenting agreement (we had a year long agreement that I had the kids every weekend since those were my days off work and her days off work were during the week.  She decided she wants them every other weekend even though she works every weekend, and there were a few other things as well regarding schooling and verbal abuse.  I just want to see my kids more than every other weekend).
I am unsure how I can get my kids when I am supposed to without violating the order.  She has a habit of going to extremes so I am worried that I may end up with the police coming out just for me trying to see my kids during the times the courts say I can.
Any suggestions?

[Stepmom0418]

I would call the local police and ask them if they could assist you in picking up your children.

Explain the situation and ask them to go to the door and you can stay in your car.


Heres a question for you....

1 Does the CPO say in it you get visitation?

Usually the CPO will say that it takes the place of any current order.

2 Do you have an attorney?

If not I would find one fast you are going to need one!!

[wendl]

Does the RO have anything in there that the protective orders are for the children as well IF NOT then you still have the right to see your children.

I had a restraining order against my ex however it had nothing to do with my son, he was still entitled to see our son.

So double check your restraining to see if it says anything about you not being able to be in contact with your children.

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[jcs904]

The CPO doesnt say it takes the place of any previous order.  I read from my local counties website that the original order stands with regards to custody and visitation so I know I should eb able to get them I just dont know how to do it without violating the order.

I actually called the police dept and was told they only help the victim in the CPO.  I cant imagine thats correct given the circumstances here so I may try again later.  I just hate having an officer escorting my children to me but if there is no other way... I suppose I'll have to do it.

I did get an atty so hopefully things will start to improve in some way once the court dates start rolling around.

Thanks for the reply!!!

[Stepmom0418]

GOOD for you about getting an attorney!!!

What does the attorney suggest you do about picking up your children?

The police CAN do a civil stand by and help you get your kids so dont let them pull your leg. They dont like to do it alot of times but they will. Keep pushing!!!

Good Luck to you and your children!!

[wendl]

When I had an RO on my ex, he would have his mother or sister come pick up our son for visitation.

You could write a friend a letter authorizing him/her to pick up child on yoru behalf due to not wanting to violate current RO against you.

Then if Ex denies visitation have your friend write a statement regarding this.


**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[jcs904]

My atty suggested calling my ex's mother since she wasnt included the the CPO (my ex and children live with her parents and brother now) or calling the police to assist.  

I havent been able to reach her today since not getting assistance from the police and her mother doesnt want to get in the middle of it.  

I'll just keep calling until I get an officer at her door.

Thanks again!

[jcs904]

The CPO doesnt not include the children.  Only my ex.

Thanks!

[jcs904]

The RO also said I cannot send anyone on my behalf (or make calls on my behalf) so I am worried that would also violate the order.

I tried to work with her mother but she is trying to stay out of it.

[wendl]

Does the RO say that you cannot send anyone on your behalf to get the kids, it sounds like the RO states you may not send or have anyone call MOM On your behalf, doesn't say you cannot send someone on your behalf to pick up the children for your visitation. Basically its a NO CONTACT order that you may not contact MOM.

Thats two different things, if you send someone on your behalf to pick up the kids, its not to talk to or  be in contact with mom, its to get your children for visitation.


Post to Soc and see what he says " tell him EXACTLY what the RO says"

[onedaddy]

I would not send anyone, or go near BM's mother or brother without police presence and a tape recorder.  She CAN and probavly will say anything.  
I also would not call the police.  I would go down there, maybe after shift change bring the CO and the RO, show them you are ordered to have visitation with your children and you can not go near this woman.

We do all pick up and drop off at each police station now.  
Before this begun, my DH waited outside on one weekend for 3 hours, we called the police who told us she had already called them and said he was harrassing her by waiting in front of her house.  Dangerous!  I asked them if she told them it was his court ordered visitation and did they know she had taken out an RO.  They told us to sit where we are and call 911, wait as long as you have to, and don't leave before the police arrive, always get reports everytime there is any problem and always have a taperecorder running.  
Your children are probably suffering more by not seeing you.

Maye run this by your lawyer first.  
Good luck!

[your_sidekick]

Is it possible she has someone else stalking and harassing her and she is just 'assuming' it is you? There are a lot of wackos out there. If she is really being stalked and harassed by someone, she and the kids could be in real danger. And if it's not you doing it, but she thinks it is, then she could be letting her guard down around the wrong person.

[your_sidekick]

You will need to take her to court concerning the visitation.

Your ex may be being stalked by an ex bf or someone she turned down for a date. If she's suspecting the wrong person, then she's not looking out for the right one. Someone who's wacko like that could hurt her and your kids.  Not to alarm you, but there may be a worse issue going on here than just the visitation that needs to be addressed.

Are the calls she's talking about hang up calls perhaps? Although since there's already a CPO in place, you cannot ask her.

[wendl]

Then you have the RIGHT by court order to see your kids, contact local police and ask that they assist you do to a RO.

:)

**These are my opinions, they are not legal advice**

[MYSONSDAD]

I totally agree! This is what I had to do, go inside the Police department. They tape 24/7. I did not ask if I could be there, this is a public building and I needed to protect myself. If she talks to you, she is breaking her own order. Let it be on camera.

The phone company has a way of unblocking calls. But it will take a supeana to get her phone records. Suggest she put a tap on her phone, this will prove it is not you. Do you have an aliby for when her car was broken into?

Funny how so much of the same thing happens time and time again. Same story, different victims. And the 'alleged victims'  of these lies  are only hurting the kids.

The problem is with the parents, not the children. The kids should not be included on an RO, unless there is PROOF POSITIVE they are being abused.

"Children learn what they live"