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Author Topic: This is the week in Iowa!  (Read 7335 times)

Kitty C.

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This is the week in Iowa!
« on: Apr 05, 2004, 02:13:40 PM »
http://desmoinesregister.com/opinion/stories/c5917686/23815232.html

HR22 has passed the House and is now in the Senate.  I was blown away to find that my senator (who is on the judiciary comm.) voted yes!  I had sent him and my state rep. e-mails regarding my opinions of the bill and that I expected them to support it.  Now it's time to talk to the govenor!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


tkhjr

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RE: This is the week in Iowa!
« Reply #1 on: Apr 06, 2004, 05:39:54 AM »
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT THIS IS A GREAT BILL AND I EMAILED THE GOVERNER IN SUPPORT OF THIS BILL!:7

Kitty C.

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IT PASSED!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #2 on: Apr 06, 2004, 09:18:22 AM »
By UNANIMOUS decision, HF 22 has passed the Senate and will be on it's way to the Govenor's desk.  Two years ago, Govenor Vilsack vetoed a similar bill, as it had a provision for mediation and he felt that it would be fiscally unfeasible.  The mediation provision is NOT in this bill, thus possibly eliminating any problems Gov. Vilsack has with it.

To e-mail Gov. Vilsack and give him your support of this bill:

http://www.governor.state.ia.us/comments/staff_email.html
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

MYSONSDAD

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RE: IT PASSED!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #3 on: Apr 06, 2004, 10:50:28 AM »
Just wanted to let you know how happy I am for your State. THE CHILDREN WIN!

I am just an hour north of the State Capital here in Illinois and would love to sit on the steps, hoping to find someone who will listen.

Just keeping the fingers crossed that this will spread Nation wide.

CONGRATS! I know you have made some wonderful contributions. Good Job...

Hawkeye

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RE: IT PASSED!!!!!!!!!!
« Reply #4 on: Apr 06, 2004, 12:12:25 PM »

We're not done yet! SPREAD THE WORD!

Even if you're not in Iowa, the US but on planet earth.... Email Governor Tom Vilsack and let him know the world is watching for his signature on this landmark piece of legislation!

HATS OFF TO IOWA STATE REPRESENTATIVE DAN BODDICKER for introducing this and standing up for Iowa's kids!  


Kitty C.

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My letter to the Governor..........
« Reply #5 on: Apr 06, 2004, 01:58:48 PM »
Would like feedback, pro and con:

                  

The Honorable Governor Thomas Vilsack
Office of the Governor
State Capitol
Des Moines, IA 50319

Dear Gov. Vilsack:

Shortly a bill will be brought to your desk for your approval.  HF22 was brought into being because it was recognized that too many parents, predominantly fathers, are allowed way too little time with their children after divorce or custody rulings.  I strongly encourage you to approve this bill.

I am a stepmother to a 10 y.o. boy and have been in his life since he was 4.  We all live in a very small town, but we ONLY see him 4 days a month.  WHY?  Because that was the minimum ordered by the court, but the MAXIMUM allowed by the mother.  She does not recognize that a child needs BOTH parents in their life and still holds bitter feelings towards my husband and sees the child as a way to ‘get back at him’.

My stepson has been asking since he was 7 years old how old he has to be to tell the judge whom he wants to live with.  It’s a tragedy in the life of any child who is put in the position of feeling this way!   He would desperately love to have his father involved in his life, but the mother sees to it that we are not informed of things he is involved in.  He has been in Cub Scouts for 4 years, but my husband has never been allowed to be involved.  On one occasion that SS told my husband that he wanted us to come to the Raingutter Regatta, his mother stood on her deck and screamed at my husband for wanting to be involved, with SS standing right there crying his eyes out.  On another, he wanted to bring his Pinewood Derby car one weekend so he and his father could work on it together, but his mother and stepfather hid it so he couldn’t find it.  This is just a very small example of how she tries to shut my husband out of the life of his child.

Couples may divorce each other, but they do NOT divorce their children.  In our current court system, there is an adversarial atmosphere in regards to custody where NONE should exist.  Only in family court is there a third party involved who has no voice, the children.  If a couple brings a child into this world, that child should not be deprived of either parent just because of divorce.  They shared equal responsibility and rights before the divorce and should be allowed the same after.  The child enjoyed and needed both parents before the divorce and is entitled to both after as well.

It is proven that children thrive when actively involved with both parents.  It has also been proven that a child who has an absent father has a greater likelihood of being involved in crime, drugs, alcohol, teen pregnancy, and other social ills.   What has NOT been proven is that bills like HF22 were designed by fathers just to lessen their child support responsibility.  Of every father in this state that I’ve talked to, EVERY ONE of them was current with their support, all they want is equal time with the children they love.

This bill is VERY important in child custody issues, because it gives the message that BOTH parents are important, BOTH parents must be involved, and it takes away any ‘power’ that one parent might perceive to have over the other.  When joint equal custody is established, there is nothing to fight about.  When both parents walk into that courtroom, they will already know that fighting over the children will not happen, because they are BOTH equally responsible and BOTH have that right to the child, just as the child has a right to both of them.

Governor, I am aware that you vetoed a previous bill regarding this issue, but I beg you to consider this bill very carefully.  I ask you to put yourself in the shoes of a child who is not allowed to see his Daddy or Mommy very often, though he loves them very much.  To feel what they feel when they just get settled into their father’s house, only to go back to their mother’s only 48 hours later.  To feel the fright and confusion when they don’t understand why their parents fight over whom they spend time with and why Mommy won’t let Daddy take him to Tae Kwon Do and baseball practice.  My heart cries often for my stepson, knowing the hurt and confusion he feels so often.

The children of this state are being short-changed enough when it comes to education and the unwillingness of our Republican legislature to recognize that.  This bill will at least give them more stability, something they desperately need.  As a fellow Democrat, I fervently urge you to sign this bill into law, to give back to the children of this state what they have lost.  And to make sure that our children in the future are GUARANTEED the love and stability of BOTH parents.  They are counting on you.  Give them the voice they need!

Sincerely,



Kitty C.

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I'm all ears!  Fire away!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

MYSONSDAD

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RE: My letter to the Governor..........
« Reply #6 on: Apr 07, 2004, 12:29:21 AM »
Sounds great, you have given me a few ideas to add on my letter.

Just praying like heck it goes thru!

Hawkeye

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RE: My letter to the Governor..........
« Reply #7 on: Apr 07, 2004, 12:20:39 PM »
Excellent, Kitty! I've been posting info about HF22 on every dads site I can locate. I hope the added attention of out of state folks will cause Gov Vilsack to realize the nation is watching.

In other news, get this... My ex is opposed to our son joining Cub Scouts!  Go figure... How low can she go???

Kitty C.

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That's nuthin'............
« Reply #8 on: Apr 07, 2004, 01:37:46 PM »
SS is in Scouts but the PBFH ADAMANTLY refuses DH to get involved in any way, shape, or form.  A few years ago, we had SS the weekend of his Raingutter Regatta, it would be right after we dropped him off.  He had told us ALL weekend he wanted us there to watch him race his boat, but he didn't know what time it started, so DH said to just run in and ask PBFH when we took him home.

SS ran in, but when he came out, he was bawling his head off!  He went straight to DH's arms and bawled and bawled!  Then PBFH comes up behind him and started SCREAMING at DH, forbidding him to go, that if he did, SS would not be allowed to take his boat (apparently something the SF said, as it appeared that SF made most of the boat!).  It took a while for DH to pry SS off, calm him down, and leave.

DH was adamant that he wouldn't go, so as not to upset SS any further, even tho I reminded him that SS practically talked of nothing else all weekend with us.  So I went instead.  SS was SO tickled to see me, but guess who was there?  ONLY the SF!  PBFH didn't even bother to show her face.  I didn't stay long, but did get a pic of SS holding his boat.  About 5 min. after I got home, PBFH was on the phone to DH and reaming him another one.

He even wanted to bring his Pinewood Derby car one weekend so that he and DH could work on it but PBFH and SF HID it from him!  Pissed him off royally, but it also might have had something to do with us getting SS a set of decals for it for Christmas!  But now SS NEVER mentions Scouts, unless it has something to do with a weekend we have him.

What these PBFH's do to their kids ought to be a crime..............
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......

MYSONSDAD

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My Letter, lets keep them coming
« Reply #9 on: Apr 08, 2004, 10:28:43 AM »
The Honorable Governor Thomas Vilsack
Office of the Governor
State Capitol
Des Moines, IA 50319

Dear Gov. Vilsack:

I am writting in regard to a Bill coming before you. The Bill is HR22. I am a resident of Illinois and have strong Family ties to Mahaska County, Iowa.

My concern is for the children of this country. It is a National epedimic for children to be torn away from loving, nuturing Non-Custodials. Parents divorce each other, not the children.

There is a definate gender bias in the family court system. 60 to 75 % of all divorces are initiated by women. Women get primary custody of the children in a divorce about 80 % of the time, along with the award of child support, 1/2 of the marital assets, and generally the house if one is at issue. The father gets placed in the position of being a court-ordered visitor in the lives of his children, and every month he has to turn over anywhere from 20 to 65 % of his gross income, to the mother who walked out on him and took his kids. In a growing number of these cases, the mother either totally denies visitation or makes visitation so difficult and costly that the father is completely eviscerated from the lives of his children.

Please concider signing this Bill. It is the first step in opening the door for all children to have both parents remain in their lives. It is a Child's Right, a God given Right, A Human Right and a Non-Custodials Right to stay involved with their children.

This is a chance to give the 'Family back to the children.'

Sincerely,


I also plan on writting the First Lady of Iowa.

Please advise if there is room for improvements, I am not good with words.

 

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