I am curious to know who has contempt storries and their outcome

[spinner]

I am curious to know more about contempt (civil contempt).

Who filed one? did you win? were you filed upon? did they win ???
Any post or comments about your storry are welcome

[patton]

See my private message

[sharptimes5]

There have been soooo many contempt charges filed against my hubby's ex wife...sad for her, but good news for us.  We never filed the charges, they were filed by the Judge who sat on our case.  
The worst contempt charge against her was for denial of visitation and contact with their daughter.  Biomom was allowed to move out of state and told the Judge on the record that she would allow contact and the abide by the new visitation schedule.  A year passed with her denying contact and constantly moving without giving hubby a clue about where they were.  The Judge got sick of seeing us...I swear the man knows us still when we go to the courthouse for anything...and gave my hubby primary physical custody of their daughter.  Biomom is now MIA...delinquent in paying CS and hasn't tried to contact her child in over 2 years.  We send monthly updates and help SD to write to her mom and the letters come back stamped return to sender.

Carol

[gipsy]

I was involved with a mens group for some time , So here's what they told Me . And Many of these guys filed contempt on there own , And I directed My cousin, to My atty who helped him File contempt ,
   Here is my own consensus , And  Is exactly what My atty say's will happen and did, In  the reply  to this original post signed  by Carol , At first the judge will Not really do Much , But they eventually get sick of this and they will do something , And often times it can be a change of custody , Just remmember .  This comes straight from an atty I picked because he wins custody for Men over 50% Of the time , ..this is what he say's " Its More important through the process to be a good parent Than It is to Try to make the other parent out to be bad "
   I found out how this works through My own mistakes ,
   If you do crap to them then it looks like mutual Fighting , If you Be a good parent and let the other parent pull a bunch of crap Then It is obvious who the instagater is , Like I reacted to mom doing all this crap , And It did not pay off , If I would have let her do all the crap and denials, and garbage mouth ,I would have looked like the better parent for not participating , , Just file contempt be the good parent , As My very good atty say's .   " parenting plans are not self enforcing You have to go to the judge and ask the judge to make the parent comply "
 Then He goes on to say , the court won't do much at first , ( As In My cousins case )   but the hassle of it all got every one to cooperate , And My cousin has had a lack of cooperation for Years , And I bugged and bugged him to file contempt , And when He did things got momentarily worse, so I showed up with a video camera when the contempt was in the works , wich makes the sicko custodian in charge think we were going to take the tapes  of  non compliance to the judge     And guess what , They worked it out , And when they got to court  before the [commissioner ]  Wash state , The commissioner said why don't you guys work this out  ?if you cant you can come back , So that really didn't mean much , But now there is cooperation , another thing In wash state that scares the bad custodial is, if they get two contempts against them in a certain period then they lose custody , And  One guy from the mens group had this happen , And there was a change of custody , there were other problems later But ,, DAN . did this Pro se , and there was a change of custody because of two contempts ,

[spinner]

I understand.

See my problem is reverse, I am not the one filing contempt, my ex, the Custodial Parent is filing against me.

This is the weirdest thing in the world.

[gipsy]

 I Was in a mens group and usually the Commissioners hear contempt proceedings , And they don't usually do much at first , Unless they really have a reason , More info would help , Like who is the custodial parent , and who filed and why . My psycho has attempted many things on me , And with out knowing who's doing what and who the custodial is , Its very hard to say much , My psycho wanted to file contempt  Because My son said I took Him to the job site with Me , And the parenting plan  says not to take him to the job where [chemicals] are present , And , I also found the court would be very unlikely to Give any contempt finding for what A Five year old say's , But the important thing I have learned is that , If you don't deny it, than they seem to accept it as true , So what ever, If they can't prove it deny it . If you don't show up then she can file a default action , SO show up and deny the allegations , Or do like all the other custodial parents , [usually women ]And twist it all around and say some one else did it . BLAH BLAH , I know the court really can't find the truth any way !!! If she has pictures or physical eveidence You may have a problem . The Bitch filed contempt once for My failure to catch up on child support , And I was in the procees of getting a loan to do that , And the commissioner gave them the contempt and charged Me 500$ I never paid it and no one has ever done any thing about it ,But I did catch up on ther child support

[spinner]

well, she is the CP parent, I am the non custodial parent.

Over the hollidays (xmas) I did put down 2 weeks of vacation. Our order state that we each can put down with 30 day notice 2 weeks of vacation and that vacations superceed hollidays.

So I did.
She said nothing at first.
Then after xmas filed for contempt because it was her time, also that she didn't have liberal phone access, .....

Bottom line is I have phone records, letters I hand gave her 30 days before, .....
What she did then is she said: Wasn't me on the phone. Never got your letters. I even have a letter signed by her she says she never signed it and I forged the letter, .....

So that's where we are at: she has tons of fabricated false proof: affidavits from friends saying she told them she had our son over the holliday.
I have tons of proof and affidavits saying that I had our son over the hollidays, ....

The refereee at the first hearing even said that it's a case of "he said she said" and that most often these cases are based on caracter, ....

[gipsy]

 I think the referee is right , I have seen similar crap with My cousin , And My case , will  a Judge ? Or commissioner hear this case? , You need to know that ,, I will Say I don't think they are going to think much about the whole thing , This is very similar to My cousins case and you will be surprised to find that most of this is going to be He said she said , I can't really give you and answer ,But like My cousin's case the commissionr basically said grow up !!  But I will tell you something , My atty has said to me before , Sometimes You need to just give the Judge or commissioner an out , I think your  Out is a solution ,. Here's My two cents , Go to court , And say  you think its her fault , And Absolutely deny any wrong doing ,  She will do the same , And the commissioner won't have much to go on except he said she said , So then heres the out . Say To the Judge , Why don't we have a solution for the future , And that Will be that YOU send the letter of vacation A certain amount ahead of time , And if she doesn't respond then you can have her served legally By a process server , And then that will be the Conccrete date of vacation , My atty is kind of a good problem solver , L:ike heres My last vacation problem , I went to give the rotten Punk Her letter of My vacation dates , And she refuses , And her punk Boy friend try's to act like Johny bad ass In the parking lot in front of my son , So I tell him . I'm not budging , This is the vacation papers etc , He tried to say Crappola to me ' so I began showing up with A video camera , At any rate My atty tells her atty to have Johny Bad ass Stay in the car at the transfer , And the solution is ,  My atty informed Me That I could fax her atty the vacation letters ahead of time , And that way she will be charged By her atty every time I send something and she has to get it from Him , So I always leave parts out alternatly , so He has to fax back and forth etc , And make numerous charges , Then I start getting letters from The Punk that say I can write her , Then I get certified Mail from Her that I do Not respond to, And her atty has to then send more letters etc , And I always leave lots of room for More correspondance , etc , Ya get it , Make it so It costes her every time . So figure out a way to make this cost her  , Some how and she will stop , So I could  Say, Try to think of a solution at court that will cost her , In time or effort or something and she will stop , I don't really know what to say . But this contempt won't  be likely to happen if you use the old theory of denial and blame , then come up with a solution , Like she has to have an atty to mediate communication at her cost so you can get on with life , What ever , But My plan for next years vacation will be to REALLY string out the corresponances , HAH HAHAHAHAH !!! I always get My vacation , And I will be sure to have all these notices in on time , What ever you do Show Up at court and deny it , And don't give up, I would do it again , Just send her the letter of vacation and say it is that way and do it , DO Not let these wierd Idiots Manipulate you , My case is full of this type of crap , Just remmember Respond clearly And to the point , With out all the He said she said , Ha Here's another on for You ,
    I went to court with the big punk to get more visits etc , And she made up allegations , So I told My atty to say  I have all kinds of allegations My self , And that she practices witch craft ,He did , And they all almost Burst out laughing ,  I also Had him say I'm Not interested in getting into the mud slinging and I just want to see My son , And then the commissioner  smiled And we got on with it and it was a done deal , Period , So ya hear what I am saying , This is all Kind of a dog and pony show , Just make sure 95% Of what you say is to the point , Like this is what Iwould say in your circumstance ,
      Judge Sir . I gave her the letter of My dates of vacation < she is just doing this to cause trouble , Heres the letter . [AND ] It should be file with your response to her motion for contempt

    "I want a solution for Future visits so we don;t have to come back here and bother you again SIR HONORABLE JUDGE" , ,
    Then shut up !!
   If  The psycho goes On and On just say
   Your honor that is not true ! "I just want time with My child and I don't want to be down here again to straighten this out in the future" .
    And then say "What IS a good solution" /
    Let Me also tell you I have repesented My self a couple of times , And I don;t see your situation as so difficult , I know For a fact that once the commissioner  Thanked Me for keeping it short , And By the time it was all over told the punk . "That was enough" , And we all walked out of court and not much was really accomplished , Its all Kind of just a big game . Just think of it like this , The judges here this crap all the time and they really don't want to hear it , I garuntee it , They don;t I have many expieriences , They really don't even care , They are more likely to care if some one is going with out food or is in neglect , this is stupid , Be a problem solver and come out good for the future , I know I write o ton of shit , But I have been through the big freaking wringer , And I feel sorry for People going through this , For the most part I am done , In a way I Can't wait till she tries the next stunt , Because  The last time I was In court , They asked for atty fee's , And the Judge said "If this comes back to me again We'll See who gets atty fee's ""

[spinner]

This is great man, I love to read you. This is funny but also so true. Great advises, thank you so much

[littlebit]

Well, sort of contempt, but a little different.

We have joint, with BM as primary.  The order states that son is to be with me 1st, 2nd, & 3rd wknds from after school to 6pm Sunday.  Also, 6wks during summer (& others).  

At the end of school in May 2002, BM decided that the order meant that I only got weekends during the school year.  So she allowed me no contact with son until our 6wk summer started.  Same thing at the end of our six weeks, no contact until the school year started.

I filed for custody and contempt 02/03.  

BM filed for RO 03/03.  She got nothing, I got weekly phone calls.

BM denied our spring break together 2003.

Again when school was over in 2003, BM would not allow us to see each other until the six wk summer started.  After the third weekend denial in a row, my attorney filed for an emergency instander (?) motion.  

We all came to the courthouse, but everything was handled between the judge and the 2 attorneys.  It was ordered that I do in fact get wkends year-round.  The judge also awarded me 15 extra days added to our six wks of summer for the time missed from the most recent weekend denials and for Spring Break.

As best as I can understand it: The reason attorney did not file for contempt is because of the pending court case, he could not.  Since contempt is listed in the custody filing, that has to be settled before another contempt is filed.  Also, any missed time before the filing date has to be dealt with at the custody trial.  That is why we could only go for the most recent denials.

Small victories mean a lot sometimes!  And by the way, she has not denied any of our time since then.

[gipsy]

Again I have to comment . These are the type of things My atty say's are more likely to happen , My Atty Say's the Judge/ Commissioner Will Not be so likely to give out contempt Findings , But He ALWAY'S Say's to ask for make up time !!! I am soo glad to hear you got make up time , What My atty said about make up time is , " You won't get a contempt " But  " If You get MAke up time It's still a win for you " Why You may ask " Well My atty has a strtegic look at it < He say's If you don't get a contempt Its not a loss, She still had to Hire an atty or take the day off to respond " Then she Had to take the day off to show up at court " Then If you get Makeup time " She still Had to go through all that and you  get the visit " So she spent all that Time and you get the visit any way " He say's this is more like Behavior modification "
    I have another story also ,
    MOM ,  from here on and asusually known as " the Big punk" Tried to Cause a bunch of trouble And say I took My son up to the mountains in the snow when the doctor said he had the croup, And was trying to make me look liker a bad parent Becuase I wasn't going By her order's As she repeated them from the doctor , She even had her atty write A long Bad Ass Letter about what A bad Guy I am etc , . So My atty said "go to the doctor and ask them , get the info from them" ,So when I got to the doctor they said That The Big Punk had Been there with the new court order flaunting it around saying how they weren't to Give me any Information Becuase the court order gave her sole decision making on doctor Issues , . So I call My atty . And he said ," Is there anything in the order that prevents you from going to the doctor and getting the information"?I said "No" So ATTY said " Be reall nice and  go back into the doctor and tell them that there is nothing in the Order prventing  ANYTHING like the exchange of information and that it's in the best interest of the child that I Have his medical records of any condition he has , And that It would not be good for Me to not know if he had some condition" So the Nurses Of course when approached with a reasonable solution said , Well " Big punk say's she doesn't want you to  have any thing " But you are right ' "So to cover our Butt then sign for this release of information and well give it to you " So It all happened " Then I sent this info Back to her and her atty " And again it was long reading " And I made it long Because her atty charges for all this crap , And it did't say what she said it said , And This issue was shot down . So Again My atty's strategy ,was Be nice to every one and get the right info ,And send letters to her atty etc ,And she will be charged By her atty for the readings , And her atty won't be so likely to File any thing with the right info , And as with Many stunts the Punk has tried to pull , It just went fizz , So I guess what I am saying  Is ,What My atty alway's say's , " Don't let her get you upset Just answer to the BS With Adult Intelligent information , And don't admit any thing , And if you don't deny it then they sometimes accept her story , . One of the things My atty said is , " OK Your driving down the road and a cop pulls you over " The cop say's Did you know you have a tail light out ? My atty say's you don't say , I'm Glad you were pulling me over for the light out , Because I thought I was busted for the bottle of wiskey Under My seat , The moral of the story is obvious !
I never said anything about wether My son went to the mountains , I just replied with her untrue part that there were doctors orders preventing it .

[rainbow1]

You should have people include their state and county with their stories.

[rdhdinwi]

They have 50-50 custody and 50-50 placement.  Back in late 2001, X moved to a new school district and didn't say anything until after she registered the girls in their new schools and had them there for tours.  She had everything very neatly arranged and told DH that the girls would start at their new schools after the 1st of 2002.  Not only were the girls very upset about changing schools in the middle of the year, but DH was upset by it and even more upset that she was telling him about a major decision that had been made regarding the girls with his total exclusion.  So, we filed the contempt motion; it was automatically referred for mediation as is in keeping with the court order.  So, basically what happened was that DH won that the girls could stay in their current school district through the end of that school year and then they could either stay under the Open Enrollment law here or go to school in X's district.  X would only agree to the girls going to school in her new district.  Needless to say, X was put in her place although she certainly tried to play dumb that she didn't know she couldn't make that kind of decision on her own.  Yeah, right, cry me a river.  At the same time, DH had four more things on his list that he felt needed to be worked on in that mediation session and he came out with all four.

He felt the mediator was looking at him like the big, bad Dad but she couldn't have because she helped him get all five things he was asking for.  X didn't win anything.

Rd

[indisbelief]

Which is why I send everything return recipet registered mail. She can't say she didn't get it then!

[tslmom]

I have filed contempt for failure to pay support and most recently, failure to pay portion of medical expenses.  On child support, those were found in contempt.  The oldest child's father was actually thrown in jail for failure to pay.  The medical expenses waiting on the ruling.

They have filed contempt on me a few times.  never made it to Court.  What usually happened is they would run to their attorney and give a story.  He would believe them and file contempt for them.  Once we received it my attorney would send what actually happened and then their attorney would either drop them as clients or they would drop the citation.

With oldest child's father, he does the disappearing act.  One time for about 2 years he was gone.  He fled the state, he was in jail like 3 times for our CS case (he has another child he was in jail for as well as failure to appear for other small claim suits).  He tried to say I denied him access to our child.  I presented my evidence, (returned, unopened, no longer at this address letters, proof of phone calls I left at his relatives homes, proof he fled the state, proof he was in jail...and proof that I contact him 2 times...once when I found out he was in jail).  

Judge denied his motion.  I asked that if he wanted visitation if we can get them phased in.  He didn't want to do that but the Judge did anyways.  It lasted for 2 months and then nothing since.  Well, take that back.  Recently he has tried contacting me.  We have talked on 2 occasions but when I ask when he wants to meet to discuss these issues he is always "well, I'll call you next weekend".