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Author Topic: Will this hurt his chance's for more visitations with the court?  (Read 4714 times)

sherrie ohio

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My husband gave his thoughts on a situation at BM home.Their child lives with BM and we have her some weeknds.(two or three)My husband walk into her home and there was a nasty smell.(real nasty)My husbands statement was god whats that smell?Come to find out they had three cats and two dogs in the house using the bathroom on the carpet and alot of other things.We had wondered what was on the childs clothing before hand that always smelled.BM stated she didnt know how to get the animals to stop.When my husband saids i'll tell what i'd do, put the things outside were they belong and you wont have the problem.Which upset her and things have been real cold shoulder like,worse than they are usely .Whould the court see this as harassment.He was concern about it health wise.What i have written is his full statement to BM.What are your thoughts?


joni

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RE: Will this hurt his chance's for more visitations with the court?
« Reply #1 on: Aug 15, 2005, 09:21:14 AM »

I think mom should be worried, not DH.  If I were mom I'd be worried about 1) child protective services showing up "un"announced or 2) animal control showing up "un"announced.

not that I'm suggesting any of the above............

sherrie ohio

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RE: Will this hurt his chance's for more visitations with the court?
« Reply #2 on: Aug 15, 2005, 02:45:27 PM »
Husband dropped by BM home this evening to drop off some school clothes for their daughter.BM and 2 husband are ripping up carpet in frontroom,hallway and kids bedroom.Said they are going to do some home improvements.Cats are outside,dogs are still in the house.I say they got scared.My husbands happy the cats are out,but wonders how long it will last.They had cleaned the yard up some to!

dontunderstand

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RE: Will this hurt his chance's for more visitations with the court?
« Reply #3 on: Aug 15, 2005, 07:46:45 PM »
That is "eminent harm to the child"  at least in our state.  Our BM had similar animal issues .  I work with a CPS case worker recently and he said that it is "eminent harm to the child", NEEDS to be reported and will be followed up by CPS... I say if it happened once, it will probably happen again~get help for your child!  NO ONE not even the animals should live in that environment...

sherrie ohio

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up date !
« Reply #4 on: Aug 27, 2005, 03:23:15 PM »
School has started here,well on friday evening i go to the bus stop to pick up our son.When he gets off the bus there's his sister to.I asked her how come she came on her brothers bus here?She tells me thats what her mom told her to do.That her mom had talked to dad,and told her to come here.Her mom had called and spoke to my husband ,but  he told her we were going to a hospital to see someone(a three hour drive to a  trama unit)and we couldnt take her.But would pick her up saturdayif that was okay?.And would gladely take her friday after school next week.(Mom was wanting a  night out.)She seem to agree to the plan.Well i guess the night out was important.What scared us and made us mad,i almost made arangements for my brother to pick my son up at the school,what would have happen to her if i hadnt been here?Mom calls a hour later said she didnt tell her to come,but wanted to know if we wanted to keep her for the night?My step-daughter asks to stay,so my husband cancels plans to go to the hospital.Mom knows my husband cant say no to their daughter.We went to town later for a bite and her mother wasnt home.I guess her night out more important than their daughter!!Realy getting tired of the roller coaster.


dontunderstand

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RE: up date !
« Reply #5 on: Aug 27, 2005, 08:55:41 PM »
That is so horrible!  What are these people thinking when they are playing games with their children and their minds?  
Our BM just told SD that she can't love me and now she is refusing to tell us she loves us.  We tell her and she says "thanks"  WHAT?  DD was talking to SD and telling her what we are going to do this weekend, and SD says (with someone whispering in the background)  "i'm not interested"  that so sounds like a 7yr old huh?  WHATEVER!  DD (5) was pretty upset.  They have no clue what or who they are hurting....or maybe they do and they just don't care.

sherrie ohio

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RE: up date !
« Reply #6 on: Aug 28, 2005, 06:15:42 AM »
The bus stop is close to the main road,she could have gotten hit or picked up by some stranger.And all our neighbors and friends that she knows in our town,were still working or headed to the trama unit to.There wouldn't have been anyone's house for her to go to that she knew was safe.I and my husband mother told him its time for him to go to court and at lease get a shedule down so hopefully it doesnt happen again.My husband afaid if he gets nasty it will seem like he doesnt want to see his daughter.It wasnt that at all.We were going to see a good friend and neighbor,that had a nasty car crash.Hopefully things change soon. I hope things change for the better, for you to!!!

sherrie ohio

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RE: up date !
« Reply #7 on: Aug 28, 2005, 07:10:50 AM »
She hasn't called yet to see when we were bringing her home.And when my husband tried to call her and let her know,no one answered.Sorry i'm steamed and i really needed to vent.I'm tired of a shedule centered around the needs of the BM.My husband works hard to provide for this family and hers to.And by the time we pay our bills,child support,doctor bills(my doctor bills) and all the extra's she ask for their daughter,we are barely makeing it to next pay check.We dont have the money for a lawyer.So my husband thinks we just have to deal with it.I'm going gray just thinking about it all.Sorry i just needed to do some venting.

dontunderstand

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RE: up date !
« Reply #8 on: Aug 28, 2005, 06:26:41 PM »
You can vent anytime.  Sometimes that is all that helps us get through the day!  My prayers are with you...
I think that something you can let your DH know is that it isn't him getting nasty by getting a set schedule!  It is him protecting that little being that obviously doesn't have anyone else doing that for her.  Not only will it maybe prevent this from happening again, and possibly save her live in doing so, but it will also give her some stability that she doesn't sound like she has with BM and something to look forward to!  
Also, I gotta tell you that it can really save you alot of hurt in the future.  Let's say this happens again and no one is there to get her, BM can say we had this set and they are just not fulfilling their obligations.  Then the responsibility is put on you guys as well as the reprecussions...that could be horrible!!!
I know it is hard when you are playing with someone that is 51 cards short of a full deck...if you ever want to talk...let me know!

sherrie ohio

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RE: up date !
« Reply #9 on: Aug 29, 2005, 04:28:31 AM »
I sometimes feel this isnt ever going to get better.We dont have the money to get a lawyer.Because it all goes out in bills,support ect.We cant get a public aid lawyer because of her and her husband are unemployed,and they have to take them as clients not us for that fact alone.(we've already been there)They dont take into efect that she makes as much a month as us.(in support)We mostly get her when BM wants us to.Half the time she comes dirty and smells,always hungry.I realy dont know what will become of this child.We met her last years teacher a while back,he knows the legal setup of the mother having legal custody.But he told us she(daughter) was showing sighns of a child that needed help.Info under the table so to speek.We dont know what to do next.Im sorry to vent to who ever reads this.Its just a release to get it out.THANKS!!




 

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