Contempt of Court Charges - What will it do for me?

[askray]

I'm a single ncp Dad of a 4 month old infant daughter living in Mass.

I will be having a parenting plan drawn up and made legal at the same time as my child support hearing.  I have NO faith that my ex-gf will abide by the visitation order.

As I understand it, if my ex does not abide by the parenting plan/visitation order, I can take her to court for a 'contempt' charge.  I realize the first or second time I take her to court for a contempt charge, the judge may issue a 'warning' but no other action.

I have two questions:
1).  How would a 'warning' compel my x to follow the agreement?  Is this just a verbal scolding, or will she be fined or have some other punitive action taken?
2). *This may apply to Mass only:  If after she is issued warnings on the contempt of court charges and she still doesn't follow the order and I file for custody based on this, what are my actual chances of having custody changed?  Has anyone actually filed for custody based on contempt of court charges and actually won?  Anyone from Mass ever went through this?

Thanks

[CustodyIQ]

Hi there,

The end-goal is not necessarily contempt charge.

The end-goal is to have access to your child.

Along the path to that end-goal, you want to create clear and convincing evidence that the mother is completely ignoring orders and will always refuse to involve you in the child's life.

At that point, you would approach the court saying, "It appears that the only option left to include both parents in this child's life is for me to have sole custody."

IF the mother refuses to follow orders, and IF you document it strongly (e.g., via multiple warnings from a court, regardless of fines/punishment), then you'll have your strong case.

But your first goal is to get orders to see your child.  I recommend you look into the book "Win Your Child Custody War" by Hardwick.  Lots of excellent guidance in that.

[askray]

Thank you, CustodyIQ...  you are a wealth of helpful information.  I really appreciate your taking the time to help me and for being patient.  Your devotion to the best interests of children is an inspiration.

Thanks again.

[gipsy]

Never actually got to the contempt , But the commissioner said she had to give a makeup day ,
  I was in a mens group because My case went on so long <
 Here is what the atty say's at the mens group '
    And  He helps guy's file contempt pro se ,
   Go tell the judge Or commissioner , Whomever it is ,
 " mom won't cooperate with the court order and I have to ask the court to compell her to comply "
  Secondly ask for makeup time at the same hearing , "
  Atty said " You won't be likely to get a contempt on the first try " But mom has to take the time and stress to respond or you file a default order " If she doesn;t show "
  Secondy Atty said " If you learn to file pro se , Then she may hire an atty and it will cost her "  However if you don't file contempt you teach her she can get away with it " So fileing contempt is the only option " So the deal is by the time you file 3,  4  , 5 times you will have it down and the court will find her in contempt ,
   I bugged my cousin untill he filed contempt , and the mother stopped doing it ! But the commissioner basically told them to go work this out ! And did not make a finding of contempt ,
   So in at first, this is just a effort at contempt , And in Wash state . Two contempt.s equalls change of custody , But this can be fought in court , Also the issue of contempt is this , If you file she will be likely to ask an atty about this , and most likely the atty is going to say " Why don't you just give up the kid ?
  Basically in the long run contempt is worth it eventually !
  I never had to file contempt , But in every hearing the court gave me more time with my son as he got older . At 18 months he could stay over night . And then it went to a regular parenting plan ,
    The one thing I advise is : Keep alll your letters ,declarations and correspondence  civil and too the point , No Angry writings just to the point and the court will like you more ,
  When  I went to the court once, all i really said was " I want to see My son And don't want to be invloved in the mud slinging , " The commissioner just smiled at me and we worked out a plan ,
  I know for a fact that the court is SICK AND TIRED !!! oF HEARING  Every one bad mouth each other ! And this will go better for you if you show a history of good nature , And good parenting , Have baby stuff ready at your house . as a Guardian ad Litem may be appointed , And they will come and see you and the house , and report to the court !
  My atty told me to do this and I did , And the GAL reported that I had a crib ,toy's , baby bottle,cloths etc , And this report goes to the court , So put away the beer bottles etc , And put out the good literature on the book shelf , The GAL did look at the book shelf ,
   In Wash state "if" she makes up some stupid story about you to the court, the court WON"T approve any parenting plan untill they see a GAL report ! if she is being difficult this won't be so likely to go to rest with the submission of a parenting plan ! But you will see , If it doesn't post again , don't give up . And be nice through out , Its painfull but it will straighten out if you are persistant , My Situation/nightmare did

[askray]

Thanks for the advice and for helping to clear it up for me...

I'm just curiuos, what did they use as justification for not allowing overnights until your son was 18 months?


This whole notion about children being too young to be parented by a father, (overnights or not), has to end!  It's killing me that so many people think Dads are incompetent simply because of their gender.  I wish more people can see it for what is really is....  DISCRIMINATION!

Ok, I'm done venting for a while, :)

[gipsy]

don't know what there justification was , However , Its simple , They just , placate the mothers , She used the typecal breast feed story , My atty said get a breast pump etc , The best explanation is , Dads will pay money through the court to go through The process , And atty's make money doing it ,
  To me there is no other explanation , Based on this ,
 Dads that are not in a custody battle don't have any rules stateing they can't have kids over night with out a court order , And eighteen months and it happens all the time , If there was some bad result from this don't you think By now there would be a law that states , DADS can't be in the care of there children with out a mother present dureing marriage , So obviously the only reason is , for the court to get the money as you go through the process , The problem is you need an atty thats just hoinest about this and files the papers and goes and takes care of buiseness , And then doesn't make a dog and pony show of it ,
  Sorry , I have passe all the tests and the courts jester got paid from me and my case is done ,
   The only thing for you to do is be cool and try to tell your atty not to get into the big financial game ,file the papers and get thing rolling continuosly Untill you get to the end result ,