Can I get Supervised Visitation?

[seansmom]

My husband and I are currently going through a very bitter divorce and custody battle for our 4 year old son, we are in the middle of a custody evaluation as well. At court on temp. orders the judge gave me primary custody and my husband has generous visitaiton. The last 2 months so or our son has been coming home saying things like "daddy's mad at you he's going to punch you and kick you and make you cry" and he's says he's telling him to be "mean" to me and his grandparents. This concerns me a great deal, he's only 4 years old and I believe the damage his father's doing will cause him alot of long term harm. We go back to court for a settlement conference in 10 days, my question is can his visitation be changed to supervised visitation? He also has committed domestic violence against me, the custody evaluater had me take a polygraph test to see if the domestic violence actually happened, which I passed and my lawyer does have a copy of the report. Any advise??

[gidgetgirl]

If he's coming home and saying this stuff, get him to a child psychologist.  Frankly, if it is a very contentious divorce, your child likely could use a "safe" outlet anyway.  The psychologist can confirm if this is indeed happening and help your child deal with the fallout.  

He/she will likely want to involved STB XH, but keep in mind, this is for DS's benefit.  The psychologist can make a determination, after meeting you, XH and most of all, getting to know DS, if supervised visits are warented.  If they are, the court and/or GAL should place a great deal of weight on that as it is not a XH said/you said matter any more.

You need to go beyond "I want supervised" and look at "how do I help DS deal with this situation", which may include supervised placement.

[seansmom]

Thank you for your reply. Back in June I did make an Appt. for my son and I with a family therapist. Shorlty before our appt was scheduled I found out my husband cancelled us from his insurance policy. I work part-time and dont qualify for medical insurance. I know he needs professional help but with evaluator fees and attorneys fees I cant afford it. Also my son and I have been gone for almost 6 months and he has not paid a dime in child support. We go to court for that in December. So I'm between a rock and a hard place.

[CustodyIQ]

If there are orders for child support, and if he's been properly served, and if he hasn't paid it for six months, I would suggest going for contempt.

It's possible that he'll go to jail if he still refuses to pay, and then you don't need to worry about the supervised visits for a while.

He can avoid jail by paying you, which will give you the money to get your child to a child psychologist to help him (and also help affirm what's going on).

Then, once you have the testimony from the child psychologist, you can have greater influence on what is the best parenting plan for this child (i.e., including supervised visits, if need be).

[gipsy]

The mom did this in My case " She told my son I was going to hurt him and to not go with me And that I did not love him ,,There was no great consequence from this happening , It won't make him look good , I responded with anger and my son repeated what I said to my friend and he heard it , However niether atty brought this up at trial ,
   Next is how to deal with this for now , I went to a counselor My self , And maybe thats what you really need, is to deal with this as well as you can , Four years old is a very tender age for this type of crap , But I too went to polygraph testing , Don't get excited Polygraph testing it CAN'T Me admitted as evidence in any state , It's not relyable , If it was I would have got custody because : She failed, I passed and her allegations were way out there !
 Any way the counselor told me to reasure my son , And that yes Mommy say's this and she can think it < But I love you and You can see that those things are not happening ,
   Heres the hardest part , WE ALL SAY  It's the other person , And we are the good one , But one thing you have to consider , Is as a man going through this, it's very frustrating , And I'm willing to bet he's pissed because he doesn't see his son as much as he would like to ! And willing to bet you aren't cooperating , It would amaze me that you Are the perfect martyr , When we are in this conflict we are not nice to each other , Becuase if we could be there would be no need for the court order you stated,  The Judge gave you , If there was any decency here why a need for a court order , And it seems to me the court sort of accepts some of this type of crap ,
  And I don't believe that your son is going to suffer long term effects , As My son has not , If you want the best for your son Make a reasonable offer and generoous offer to settle and get it over with , If you are doing the court process And useing a parenting evaluater you are going through the routine hostilities , And I know from expierience that any money or time that you may be fighting over will be used up By the atty , Never forget the ONLY PEOPLE THAT BENIFIT FROM YOUR DIVORCE ARE THE ATTY'S , and if you think they want you to settle or: give them the eguity in your house And you get nothing , Don't think your atty is your friend , I fired two and got a cool one that told me NOT TO FIGHT , And try to settle , And  that I didn't need him if I go to Pierce county center for dispute resolution , And settle this , I took his advice and the mother refused to even attend the resolution process ,
   Remmember if you are fighting this you are hurting the child also.
   I did not see you write that there is admissable evidencs about the 'domestic abuse ' and that you polygraph tested , Wich indicates that you did not give the parenting evaluater any admissable evidence , And Again the polygraph test is not admissable , SOOOO While you think you are making a big point, I bet the best you will get out of the POLY GOOF test is your atty will ask if it could be admitted as evidence and His atty will object and that is, will be, and was, the end of it at My trial .
 If you really want to be real .Go to your atty and try not to be a jerk " And say " Hey like if I choose to not give you a ton of money to settle, and try to settle , What would you think would be a good settlement agreement ? Then say If I go to trial is that about what I mayget , And Trust me Your atty is going to suggest about what you will get , But if Atty is the typical money grubbing type he may tell a big story about what the outcome may be and the benifit of giving Said Atty ,LOTS of $$$$ Get it , Iv'e been through this twice , And had one cool atty , And gave up a lot of money to get about what I could have settled for , But the mother would not , Her offer was basically a post card and a child support bill . My atty advised me to not settle ,And the judge did better than her offer was and I'd like to say it was worth the trial , But I could only say , I had a choice of trial . Where My atty knew I would get a better deal than she offered ,As In  Between both situations , One being out of wedlock with only child support and visitation at stake , Costed her over $20,000 And me about the same , And guess what we got a parenting plan and child support by the state guidlines ,
    Second I got divorced ,Partially because of the stree of mother No 1, The atty's got between the two of us about 35,000$ And the case settled before trial , And the problem is NO ATTY CAN GARUNTEEE AN OUTCOME AT TRIAL , just ask
  SOOO Again I say ,Why don't you just think about what is best and settle , Or give the atty a bunch of money and you will get what I got a parenting plan and child support , thats going to be the end of it and you will be like me , My problem was the other side would absolutely not settle , And guess what the judge said at the end of my trial for visitaion of my son ,
  Her atty asked for atty fee's . JUDGE SAID " If this comes back to court we will see who gets atty fee's "OK so judges don't just charge the dads , The judge saw that the mother pulled stunts ,  Usually by the time trial is over the judge has a fair picture of whats going on , And you will be surprised that It won't be all about dad telling the kid this ,  if it continues there will be a problem , Maybe try to limit the hostilities , And about you domestic violence : This has been abused By too many liars ; I watch My atty at another trial destroy a mother . Over her false allegations , And she lost custody , and what He did wasn't so tricky , Ya see in trial you have to answer , And A good cross examining atty will Show where theres a hole in the story , I believe your post said Abuse One time < And As I found the court knows there is a certain amount of that crap that goes on , However another realy gooofy thing the court does is if the ABUSER takes a domestic violence course or evaluation and completes with good marks they think they are now fixed , I was falsely accused , And Of course none of the tests showed  Or said I was any type of abuser , The reults did say they think I may have said some of the things she said I said , But again this wasn't even brought up at trial  ,
   SOOOO Ya see My post is very long but My expierience is this whole process is ridiculous and the atty's are getting the benifit , And you suffer through the process trying to thik of things to undermine each other , Why don't you send a letter over staing that the child said this , And that you see that the courts process is as problimatic as problem solving , And Ask what he wants to settle , Then fire back with what you will settle with and are willing to settle if the child quits comeing over saying this type of stuff ,
   I told the mother to grow up , And she even said her family told her the same thing , She Absolutely would not cooperate and I saw My situation , She had to be ordered by the court Via A court ordered parenting plan , And I did as my atty said , , I held her feet to the flames , And We have both mellowed out and , She still seems to be telling my son a bunch of crap , But not near as much , And It doesn't really seem to effect his relationship to me , He Loves me and his mother dearly , And I Don't talk bad about the mother , And he does not like it when she does it , It seems she is learning much like I did and that is , Mom And dad don't like each other any more but my son is the one that suffers , So I do the best I can to Make life good for him when he is here , And he is happy here , And It seems he is happy at his mother's house , This will end . And it can end quicker if you work toward a solution , other than Constant court action , Unless it is absolutely necessary : Again send him a letter  Remove the anger , And tell him the problem and that you know there will be a parenting plan and a child support order . And see hopw much he wants to spend getting there or settle , To Me this whole process Is like the ritual dance of vendictive parents , It took a while but I quit throwing the anger around and the bad talk and things have mellowed , Believe me there has numerous reasons to start a big fight , But I don't I take the advise of a good atty that knows better than to fight , It boils down to a legal solution , My ATTY WARNS : Usually people are not satidfied with the outcome of trial , Niether side , Even if they win  custody there will be more battles , Ive seen it , STOP FIGHTING !

[gipsy]

Do not make your fight worse by trying to file contempt and putting him In Jail , Even the court see's through this as a deciet filled ploy , Not only that ,then where are you going to get child support while he is in Jail , IF THAT HAPPENS , And  It is very unlikely on the first contempt , MY psycho tried this on Me , The commissioner said " This always happens with these cases " My atty said I would not get jail time , Please do not listen to people that tell you to do vendictive things ,
  A good atty will tell you . As My good atty does , Don't make a court case out of every thing , I am willing to bet that if you weren't fighting in court the dad won't say that garbage , In My case CRAP was said both way's , And it didn't effect much , And My son is six now and it's all over , And My atty said Yeah of course : When the court battle is over every one starts to act better agian , Remmember you are in the heat of battle , If you really want to stir lifelong hatred listen to custody IQ , Yeah right ,A divorce made into JAIL Time and removeall of visitaion rights " Bet Custody IQ Is a woman feminazi , This all will pass and as the similarly psyco mother in My case has done ,She see's how my son loves me and both her and I have changed . Or listen to custody IQ And extend the battle to the MAX LEVEL . YEH BRIGHT IDEA !!
  Remmember the court and any one will se through vendictive behavior , Maybe ask your atty to send a NICE letter over stateing that this has happened and you are willing to work through the issues , My good atty Never sends the nasty letter . He just stays with the facts ,
  Stay with the facts and solve the problem Don't try to fix the car with a Torch and a gas can

[CustodyIQ]

If anyone were to bother to click on the website I run, it'd be clear that the rantings of this person are just that-- mere rantings not based in truth.

Weird that someone would react so personally to my opinion.

[Brent]

I've found the CustodyIQ site to be good, with plenty of useful of information there.


> Bet Custody IQ Is a woman feminazi

This is utterly ridiculous. You may not agree with his suggestions or strategy, but resorting to the "feminazi!" label makes you sound like that goofball from FIRM, Eric Ericson.  It's pretty obvious that you've not taken a good look at the CustodyIQ site.

[MYSONSDAD]

It is the on going conflict that tears the child apart.

Three years and counting in my own custody battle, is way too long. Judge is keeping this from moving forward.

If there is any chance the two of you can get a parenting evaluator to help work out the difficulties, try it. You will need an evaluator anyway, so why not make some progress. Another thing Gypsy is right  with, is the polygraph, they are not considered in Family courts, waste of time and money.
 
"Children learn what they live"

[seansmom]

Thank you for your detailed reply. I really don't mean to sound curt but you do not know my husband. Before we went to court for temp orders we were discussing joint legal custody through out attorneys. two weeks before court i get his "position statment" saying he's going for sole custody. so ok we start the evaluation in Sept. and 99% of what he's telling the evaluator about me is lies. And yes the polygraph may not be admissable in court but the evaluators report IS. As long as he believes me thats all thats matters. I have NOT lied to the evaluator about any of the abuse cases - and there have been many- . This could have been over a long time ago, my soon to be ex is really the one who backed me into a corner and left me no other choice but to fight for our child. I've been a very good stay at home mom all his life, we are very close, i love him dearly. I wont just give him sole custody. He's the one who left me no choice.

[gipsy]

I have looked at custody Iq's site . Some of it is correct , Like the part where he say's . I am not an Atty!
   His input :was to put the child support obligor in jail while the custodial parent utilizes a strategy to take the child to counseling , And try to take court action ,
   This is purely vendictive , I dare any one to put this series of posts and strategy information in front of an atty , And I mean all the posts leading up to His advice , So think of this cross examination , Like My atty argued bad faith acts as My reason for change of custody ,
    Atty say's " Did you have such and such of report generated on Nov 17th , 2005
  A: Yes
  Atty" was the father Incarcerated ? A yes
  ATTY : Was it as a result of you fileing a contempt charge over child support A: Yes
 Will any one have to say to the judge , Did you have him Incacerated Then run the child to a shrink While the father was in Jail ?Then generate a report against the father ?
   Will this change custody Or generate a report that say's " There is acrimony between the two !
  AND WHY ARE WE IN COURT ! DUH Because there is acrimony
 And the judge will say < OH wow what a different case ,with acrimony and all
 Or will the judge be inclined to say what the commissioner said during My case Over child support arrears
 " This always happens"
 so I sent my atty to court for  $1,200 To find out that he was just playing the game , When he could have told me myself , And told the court Mr Gipsy Is taking a loan to pay and that will fund shortly ,
  But no! So thats wHat I think of her strategy of fileing about child support arrears , It just costed  Her and I atty fee's to find that. The court will order me to pay < And I will pay when I get the loan ,
  And it did Get brought up  briefly at trial , And I think The judge was yawning during that part of examination , And in the end they saw My tax forms and The GAl report and It was done !
 No tactic no case ,And no more money wasted on this type of stuff
  My psycho told my son some very screwy things during the custody issue we had , wich were very similar to information in the original post ,
  My very good atty told me that running the child to a therapist to try to prove what she was telling him was a bad Idea that the judge would frown on ,
  However this is what custody IQ recomends , Along with jail time in a custody dispute ,
 My point is Pushing jail time  over child support , While the original person that posts Takes the child to a shrink to undermine the other parent , Thus trying to make a permanent gain Of power and control during a custody dispute is something , I think " : After My trial : Would be very bad form for the judge to  catch on to at trial , And the woman judge at My trial saw for the most part what went on and told the Mother, when Her atty asked for $20,000 In atty fee's
   Judge said " I think Mr , Gipsy's end of this was reactive " And if this comes back to me we'll see who get atty fee's "
 My atty states that the judge usually get's the general picture .
  And I have watched a few trial's and thats what I saw personally , ]
  So the advice to some one to undertake vendictive measure's
 Would be very likely to backfire ,
] And My atty know's that people say really stupid things during a custody dispute ,
 And the Judge won't pay much attention to it < The trial is to try the case of custody :
  And guess what " NIETHER atty at my trial went into anything about who told the kid what , Why ? Would it be that way ? And Would it be any proof if the kid told a shrink dad did X And what if the child said Mom hates dad , ? This is a custody dispute , And the dad is actively seeing the child , And MAy be saying the wrong thing to the child ,
  I think there is a much better attempt , Previous to vendictive action and Jail time , In order to solve this issue ,
   Custody IQ Is some one whom has a web site wich I read and some of his infromation is not even plausible to the way the law works : Some of it is plausible and fits .
 But he States he is not an atty !
  The web site and name implies knowledge , But some of it is bad info Just run it by an atty and see
   In general Eric mentions numerous atty's and going to court several times . And tactics , Well The psycho In my case had a so called tactical atty .: Didn't work !
  What IS crucial is the being to court numerous times ,
  The Point ignored is : Were these appearances at court temp orders?
 Before a commissioner or a real judge ?OR At a trial where evidence and cross examination of evidence , and cross examination of testimony are heard Or with  temp hearing where the atty;s can just say what they want ,? This is crucial to explain to some one just beginning , Because the commissioner doesn't kniow who to believe with out an investigation by a court appointed Guardian ad litem on behalf of minor child , And when that report comes in , Is it worth contesting or not ?, And the reason for the GAL report is  the courts effort in removing the atty trics tactics etc, Because the court recognised that the atty represnts the paying client , And children were sufering becuase the court does not know who to believe , In reality GAL / Parenting investigater's reports are accepted by the court  And unless the atty has a GOOD reason to dispute it then they won't waste the courts time , If you were to call it tactics , My atty exolians the best is to convince the GAL that you should have custody , And report that to the court ,
  My atty coincides with Socs board , And there are relatively simple laws that govern where the child will live , And of you do, or don't have an argument ,.. If you leave the kids at the mothers then you have just achieved status Quoe ,
  And Eric states somthing about :' Your Atty may be able to get a more favorable judge ', Well My actual expierience is , And I believe the law states :
  You can file One motion of predjudice And have that judge changed , But you don;t pick the judge , I Don't believe that any atty can pick a judge ,
   I don't believe there is a huge tactical plan ,Except to show you are a good parent , UNLESS there are legal reasons and thus proof !
  For the most part custody IQ's site is in the right direction , However If telling some one to act in a vendictive way is very bad advice !Having some one put in jail will feed the fire , and you will have a longer road ahead , I have talked to my atty about these sites , And about tactics , And he warns that most of this stuff is not applicable , And the slickest of the slick can't change a GAl report , Unless it is outright wrong ,
  I post this because I hate to see some one go through this thinking that thew right tactic , Or undermineing will win for them ,
 My atty warns this type of stuff usually will back fire , Because If you think about it this is day in day out BS at the court ,
   

[gipsy]

Ya see ,MYSONSDAD even posted three years and running ,
   This will go on and on, Try haveing your atty send another letter insisting that it's better for the child to seTtle this and remove the conflict , And that saying these thing's 'IF They are true " Only hurt the child , And another piece of information when I removed myself from the conflict and did not react , My son was better off ,
  Let tell another long story
     I'm with My son and he tell's me some thing his mom was saying about me , I felt it was a test thing ,
   He then said ." Dad why does it make you mad when I tell you about mom Talking about you ?  
  said " I'm not mad "
He said " Yes you are I can tell how you get mad when you cuss more "
   " And your face looks like that "
  trust me I thought when I muttered AAAHHH ! while restraining my upset and anger that as long as I didn't say his mother or her name he would not know ,and that little boy called My BS right there!
  They know ! And when I started saying nice things about his mother to Him .  He changed and so did his mother ,
 Although the nicest things I could say was during conversaTions about his mom cooking , And I said " With the best smile I could muster <
  Your mom makes good cookies and I know she loves you and thats GooD
  I started to see a look of peace in My son , And not his little stress face around the times of the transfer .
  And this faint effort grew because It made My son Better !
 You should try it .
  Secondly It;s way better than vendictive because It made him love me more and be more relaxed around me " And he said things that made me realize that he kneW who was causeing the trouble , Like he said
 " My Moms the one causing the trouble " Because she's the one that talks bad about you and you don't . And I can see you aren't bad " !!
  I implore you to try this .
 And eventually the mother saw it and some good will started to come from that end ,
   I wonder  How My son would have fared if I never took My atty's advice and tried to say good things about the mother to My son ,
  I had a good atty and he state's there's better ways to deal with stuff than constant court action , And he does not do that unless neccessary ,
ANDS finally You will HAve to prove the abuse , And how it effects the child  and it's likely to be that you will have to show he abuses the child in order to make much process ,
 At some point the healthy person has to show good will , And constant court action stirs the bee's nest and it will never end ,
  I'm betting you should go watch a few  Custody trial's or part's then see the outcome , And you will see that all this stuff we stress about , The atty's know better than to bring it up .
  BOTH atty's in My trial spent more time trying to make their client look like a good parent then they did trying to make the other parent look bad ,
  And when I saw a stupid atty do this at a trial against My atty and one of his other clients ; A Man ' The mother lost Big hands down . AND DID NOT GET ATTY FEE'S

[lucky]

I just re-read CustodyIQ's post and he DIDN'T advise going for contempt to put the father in jail.  He advised going for contempt and said that it was POSSIBLE the father could go to jail.  I do NOT feel he was advising anything vindictive and I think that there are many others who feel the same way and probably many who feel as you do -- I don't see those people attacking CustodyIQ, however.

You know, you keep quoting your attorney and base your opinions and posts on YOUR case.  Perhaps you should keep in mind that SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!  

Your attorney is NOT God and does NOT know everything, neither do you.  He/she knows his/her area (geographically).

Perhaps in this case, contempt with a threat of jailtime will be what this particular parent NEEDS to get off his ass and do the right thing.  

Perhaps you are right and this would backfire.

In any case, EVERYONE should have a right to post their opinions without having anyone else say "Don't do that, it's bad" and trashing them and their opinion.  You could have just said that you didn't agree and (nicely & politely) enumerated your reasons why.

Quite simply EVERYONE'S opinion is JUST as valid as everyone else's.  Even if you don't agree with it.

[em]Lucky

Lead your life so you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers[em]

[CustodyIQ]

Guy,

I'm not quite sure what buttons I pushed, but clearly you're projecting quite a bit of your own issues upon me.

You are the ONLY person who has ever expressed dissatisfaction to me for the help I try to provide to folks who are seeking feedback.

Further, I also happen to be a moderator on another board that offers support to fathers facing divorce and child custody issues, and it's a board run by a law firm.  (i.e., they apparently don't think that I'm a feminazi, per your atrocious, bigoted term -- do you even contemplate how offensive it is to call someone a Nazi?!).

It's possible that they're all wrong, and you're right.  But not probable.

There is a far cry between accountability and vindictiveness.

I suggested that a mother may want to hold a seeming deadbeat father accountable for failing to comply with court orders.  The father in that case is the only one responsible for consequences that will befall him.

Not all fathers are good fathers.  Not all mothers are bad mothers.  And not every situation is identical to yours, Gipsy.

But if you get some sort of satisfaction trashing people who disagree with your perspective, I guess that's what you must do.

[MYSONSDAD]

Everyone has different perspectives. Maybe that is why SPARC is unique. Many thoughts and suggestions based on personal experience.

If everyone shares ideas, the poster can then pick out what they feel will help them and leave the rest.

Gipsy shares what most fathers face, he does not hold back, pretty straight forward. And on the other hand, I learn from reading your  posts, Custody IQ.

It is all a learning process, education and keeping informed. What might work for some, will not help the next.

Working together, sharing ideas, that will only help benefit all of us....

We need to stay focused for the common good.

[gipsy]

yeah you pushed my buttons ; The reason is the mother in my case tried the contempt over child support , and I had one choice , Pay it all and be too broke to fight for the right to see my son or take a loan , Wich I did , And the mother did not cooperate with my voluntary effort to initiate support , And as a rsult contested every thing at great expense
  And as the original post said she was gone for 6 months , I believe , I'll re read it
  My sons mother also disappeared , Maybe I'm reading the writeng on the wall . So I pissed you off ,
  But I don't believe the approach you suggested because , Of the following
 When you subtract the issue of child custody , The law concerning debt is very different , As in you go to court get a judgement, garnishment, lien And whatever the next step is  to seize assets , I run a buiseness with sizeable one time payments and one time up front expenses , If I was indeed jailed during this process it would seriously flaw the intent to make the money to pay support , I would have say a$ 10,000 to 12,000$, job where the customer would have to get another contractor , Or if some one doesn't pay , Then consequently I am broke for a period untill these large sums are paid  ,
     However Seizing assets , Or applying liens Is a viable non destructive Approach , And gets the money to the mother ,
  In My case My atty told me to not worry about jail time and the Judges know this process , Atty said " If the guy has a job and the judge throws them in jail, they are back in court on contempt again because they lost there job " And those are the reasons I see proposeing jail time as destructive and vendictive , Not that some time it may be necessary to some people , But their are clear alternatives to get the money with out  The obligor going to jail and losing much more ,
  However when it comes to child support The suggestion of jail time suddenly comes into play , Why do we not take the route to collect a debt that is the usual , Instead of jail time? ,
  The reason I see the direct ascent into jail time is we don't know if the father is in the same position , that would preclude him from paying an atty to get his visits , or: being behind in child support , That is an excrutiating position , If you have ever been there you would know the pain ,
   Secondarily I could not throw My debtors in jail as a ripple effect ,
 You think if I told the judge " I was jailed because  Home depot did not cut me my subcontactor check this month , So now I want the bookeeper to serve along with me because , Their faulty bookeeping .

  I think not !
   And what woul;d the Judge say , No sir jail time is not for people that owe a debt  to a child support obligor Contractor    And last :if this woman married a man that has zero assets , And can't keep a job I have zero sympathy for her position ,
   Taking these things into consideration Of course you hit a nerve ,
  I had zero choices available , Pay The atty  , If I didn't, he intended to with draw , Or pay child support , You wiegh the scale wich would you do ?
  The next part of the mess was her lying atty convinced the Commissioner to believe My Income was based on the adjusted gross of My buiseness income , And was Impossible for me to pay based on a adjusted gross income of $120,000 Per year , If you have run a small buiseness you would know that you get about 30% =$40,000
This was an intentional move to cause trouble via  An unreasonable child support order ,
   Wich I in no way could pay , she and her atty knew it ,
  So again I state with more facts of the crap people pull reguarding child support , The saying " She's a victim and He isn't paying and He makes $120,000 per year and going to court on contempt over the Issue , Even the commissioner saw through it and said she wasn't going to touch it and it had to go to trial
  Then at trial , Where they had to enter real testimony under oath , Her and her atty testified to the real numbers on the 1040 that I recieve from My own buiseness , Showing that they knew the right number all along ,
 Again Unless you have ever had these type of tricks pulled , And they flew you may think , If the guy didn;t pay he was a dead beat , Well Try  a total of 940$ A month on for size, based on fictitious numbers ,
   At this point of explanation Are you thinking I should have been jailed over the fictitous numbers , Would you advise that ?
   And the conclusion was , After the money was spent going to court for every issue , Guess what at trial ,
  The judge saw the whole issue period ,
   And As I have said before 'when her atty asked for $20,000 in atty fee's  The Judge said " I see Mr Gypsy's part of this as a reaction " And If this comes back to me we will see whom Gets atty fee's "
  SOOOO It serves to say NONE OF HER contempts Served any purpose And she paid her atty $$$$ to do all these court actions , And the one that suffered uneccesarily is My son , When proper advice on the issue is to get a garnishment , Lien or judgement or what ever [Not jail time ]
   And the big question that really is in My mind is this , If she has the money to be making all these court actions then , Why doesn't she just wait till trial and get a judgement , And last but not least it is clear to me that the long term vendictive measure : If I dare to say: would be to go to the judge at trial with these Issue's : Because you can't try the same case twice , So the judge won't be able to really view the info from previuos court actions , Or this was the case for me ,
  So I repeat what is the issue to get the money ,? or get some one in jail . Wich I can nearly garuntee the judge wont put some one in jail for the first time child support contempt , this is reserved for a last resort because the judge knows how destructive it is to go to jail and lose your house, job, car payment etc , We really don't think the judge just say's Jail time when there are alternatives . If she asked for jail time she would be asking for a long battle of wills ,