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Father's missed visitation, being denied by mother

Started by lablover, Feb 21, 2006, 08:46:11 AM

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lablover

Hello all, I am new on this site as of today. I am also posting and asking questions for my husband. We have been married for 11 months so far, and I say this because step parenting is very hard for me especially when the mom is so hateful and using the kids to hurt and control my husband.
Let me start by saying: Cruella is (Bio mom) skid 1(step kid is 16 boy) skid 2 (girl6 yrs old)

My question is: We haven't seen the skids since Jan 24th, before that was Xmas. Cruella has filed a false police report on us kidnapping skid 2 on the weekend she gave us (it wasnt our weekend). We have filed contempt papers on her for three missed visits so far, but to date it's actually 8  missed visits.

She now is telling us that we won't be able to see the skids until May 1 (our court date) Our courts here are backed up so far we have to wait that long to be heard. We have so much evidence that we will bury her. But at this point skid 1 doesn't even want to see his dad. Cruella is PAS'ing these skids so bad.

Help!

Lil527

What state are you in? We had a signed agreement from my husband's ex for an extra day. She backed out - at least we found out beforehand - and my husband would have gone to jail for kidnapping if sd hadn't been returned when she wanted her. You won't get to see the kids until court, and maybe even not then if it's continued. If it is continued, insist on at least 1 phone call a week for husband to talk to his kids. Make sure day and time are ageed on before you leave the court house. skid 1 will recognize the truth when he sees it. right now he might just be so angry at both parents he doesn't want either one. And skid2, if anything like mine, is a lot smarter then you think. My husband finally started standing up to his ex-wife when we finally got a juvenile court judge as our lawyer three years ago. my sd is 10 next month.
What is ex's reason for denying visitation?

madinbama

Keep documenting any taking her back to court!  If he has an order that dictates the visitation, and she doesn't abide by it file a motion to show cause for contempt.  That is really the only thing we can do in these situations, as I have found through experience.

As for the kidnapping, here in Alabama you can not kidnap your own child, so the charge here (at most) would be interference with custody through the juvenile court system.  I'm sure that depending on the circumstances it might even be referred back to the domestic relations court for action.  

Good Luck!

msme

This is such a difficult thing to deal with. But, it goes back to the basics. An abused child will gravitate toword the abuser & will lash out at the nurturer. It seems to be that the child believes that all the abuse is some how their fault & if they could just be better or show more love, the abuse would stop.

On the other hand, they lash out, hurt, reject the nurturer because, somehow, they know, deep inside, that parent will love them no matter what.

So, send notes & cards to them, but make & keep copies. Mail them at the postoffice & get a proof of mailing. Put the receipt with the copies.

If, when you finally get to see the kids, they say you never sent anything, you can produce the copies & tell them you are sorry they didn't get them on time but they can enjoy them now.

Good luck & God bless.
You never get a second chance to make a first impression!