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Author Topic: Strangeness  (Read 3609 times)


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« on: Nov 26, 2003, 07:02:43 PM »
I have a very strange thing going on. I was ordered from the bench to "get out of the middle" and make DH and PBFH work on this themselves.

I have done so, but now whenever I begin to hear about injustices being done to SS or DH I get this major guilt feeling going and I literally have to disengage to keep from having severe physical reactions to the conflict.

Anybody else been "blessed" with a physical deterent to engaging? Am I going nuts?
A true soldier fights, not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves whats behind him...dear parents, please remember not to continue to fight because you hate your ex, but because you love your children.


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RE: Strangeness
« Reply #1 on: Nov 26, 2003, 08:18:40 PM »
No ... you're not going nuts ... just comes with the territory.  It's a normal feeling, so don't sweat it.

Perhaps the "order from the bench" was a smart thing ... your DH and PBFH DO have to work on their issues.  

It is a difficult thing to witness the injustices to both DH and your SS, but yer gonna eat yerself alive from the inside out if you don't blow it off.

There's a great book that might help you understand how to have a different perception of the goings on - The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.  If you haven't read it, you really should.  I read, and re-read, and re-re-read the book.  You might want to go to amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com to read some reviews to determine if it's your "cup of tea.

I knoew several people besides myself who have read it and been able to deal with the situations far better -- for the good of all.

Good luck, and just remember that you're not crazy -- the situation is, not you.

Indigo Mom

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RE: um...i don't get it.
« Reply #2 on: Nov 28, 2003, 09:45:13 AM »
You were "ordered" to step back?  Is there a law saying a person can't help their loved ones?  That's insane!

You wouldn't be human if you weren't so damned concerned about your hub and ss.  Ordered?  GAWD.  Why can't the Judge order PBFH to become human?


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RE: um...i don't get it.
« Reply #3 on: Nov 28, 2003, 10:42:56 AM »
Becuase that would make sense!!!!!

That makes as much sense as the judge here making his decision which basically thru everything out the window the dh and I had been trying to do for the last 2 years,then he tells dh that he "needs to learn how to blend the two families!"  How does one blend two families after a judge has thrown everything you had worked so hard to accomplish out the window?      

It really does make one wonder what some of these judges are thinking when they make these calls. You can tell they have never been thru this crud!!!!


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RE: um...i don't get it.
« Reply #4 on: Nov 28, 2003, 10:45:07 AM »
Judges use that power they have to suit their mood as far as I'm concerned...It depends on how good a cheer they are in!!  I'm sorry for your situation and I can't see how you can "step back"...That's crazy...You are a part of this too...Continue to support your DH, he needs it...


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« Reply #5 on: Nov 29, 2003, 09:04:01 AM »
My husband's judge ordered that visitation would stop temporarily, and that my husband needs to mend the "rift" that HE created in the relationship between him and his daughters.  There was NO rift until BM stopped contact and judge upheald BMs personal decision.  Grrrr.....  


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RE: Strangeness
« Reply #6 on: Nov 29, 2003, 05:27:20 PM »
Continue to support DH and treat the kids like you treat your own, you are a good woman and strong.


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