My dh used to be that bad, but he has become better so I guess I shouldn't complain. Now he will at least "discuss" the bills, but will not accept my answers.
For example, he may say "thair, do we have enough in the budget to purchase a new so and so?".
Then I will say, "Not this week but maybe in about 3 weeks we can."
dh.."Why not? I noticed the ATM receipt said that we had enough and then some!"
me..."Because what is currently showing will be used for xyz bill in 2 weeks."
dh..."but I don't understand it. It's there, why can't I spend it, now and then we can replace it when it comes time to pay the bill?"
me..."There isn't any extra money coming in between now and then to "replace" it. Why don't you look at the budget so I can show you what bills need to be paid w/in the next few weeks so you will understand."
dh..."No!!! Just give me a "yes or no" answer!"
sigh....and the whole conversation starts over again till someone gets frustrated and walks away.
Anyway....I agree w/ peanuts. You were right in saying no to going to get your dh's lunch. If I were you, I wouldn't leave him anymore money to "go out" and eat if he is going to be home all day. Just make sure that the fridge and pantry are filled so he can't say that he didn't have anything to eat! You're dh sounds as if he may be depressed or something. You may want to suggest counseling.
Good luck to you.