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Author Topic: good news/bad news  (Read 2495 times)

bananas

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good news/bad news
« on: Feb 22, 2004, 08:08:49 PM »
Well, the good news is, I was able to talk on Friday afternoon to the guy who refi'd our first mortgage last fall.  He suggested consolidating our debts into a second mortgage.  I gave him a basic idea of what we have and he seems to think that there will be no problem.  I am going to fax him our info tomorrow and he says we can close in three weeks.  So, that should solve the financial dilemma because our payments will go down significantly.  Plus, I guess you can write off that interest on taxes!!  So, that's one relief.

The bad news is, hubby and I still haven't talked.  He was asleep on Saturday night when I got off work.  Today we went to the hospital because our best friends just had a baby and we stopped in to see them.  We did some other running around...I just don't want to approach it with him... I think I'll wait to see if he brings it up.  He knows I want to talk.  I did mention to him about the mortgage guy and he said cool.  He seemed relieved too.  I guess he filed bankruptcy with his ex way back in the day, so I'm sure he wasn't happy about the prospect of doing that again.

I guess if he doesn't say anything by the end of the week I'll bring it up again.  This is his last week at this doctor's office he's working at, and he will be working for a different doctor in another office starting on March 1.  I know this is stressful for him so I'll try to cut him a break.  But if anyone has any suggestions on how I might approach a conversation with a resistant spouse on important matters, I'm open!  Thanks for listening.


Peanutsdad

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RE: good news/bad news
« Reply #1 on: Feb 22, 2004, 09:42:01 PM »
Yes,, approach him with a lions tamers whip and chair. THAT'LL not only get his reluctance moving, it'll keep you safe!! LOL

MixedBag

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Yes
« Reply #2 on: Feb 23, 2004, 06:51:44 AM »
One day at a time, one step at a time, as each day goes by.

That's how....

Geez, if he's looking at changing jobs that's definitely stressful for him.

And when you have "fun" due to EXs, that doesn't help much either.

bananas

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update
« Reply #3 on: Feb 24, 2004, 11:27:22 AM »
Well, hubby brought up a discussion today while we had lunch.  He said he talked to SS on Saturday.  I guess SS found my message under Thair's post and called hubby.  SS was concerned that we didn't want him here.  I guess SS was also upset because I said he wasn't motivated.  But... a long time ago, SS said he wanted to move here because no one there was motivating him.  

I talked to SS on the phone today and told him that we absolutely do want him here.  I told him my concerns about him being here were only because I didn't know how long he would be staying.  We were able to sort everything out and it looks like all is settled.  SS has made some calls to some apartments here, and seems to have an idea of what it's going to take to get his own place.  I really am proud of SS and he really is a great person.  Some people have kids that are wayyyy outta control (I see them every day), but my s-kids are not like that at all.  SS has a good head on his shoulders.

We are going to get a second mortgage to cover some of our bills.  I went over the details with the mortgage guy yesterday and it looks great.  Hubby says he will work on the taxes this weekend.  If we owe, we can just make payments.  No biggie.  

We talked about his asking me to bring him dinner while I'm at work, and I told him how hard it is for me to do that.  He said he understood.  I told him I'd call him if I get a break and we can meet somewhere for dinner.  Plus, once SS gets here, I'm hoping that they can entertain each other during the evenings.  That will help out a lot.  I know hubby positively can't wait 'til SS gets here, so he has something great to look forward to.

So, I guess the only thing left that worries hubby is changing jobs.  The doctor's office he works for is turning hubby over to another office.  His doctor is leaving the practice.  Hubby is not looking forward to that at all, and says it is depressing.  He always gets anxious when these things happen, but I don't blame him.  I told him he should let me know more about what's going on and what's bothering him, and that way I'll know to not bug him about the taxes and SS and whatever else might come up.

Our friends are at home now from having their baby, so we will probably go horn in on their happiness tomorrow.  I know things will work out for us... they have for 12 years.  We'll just keep on keepin' on.
Thanks for listening again!

thairagain

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RE: update
« Reply #4 on: Feb 25, 2004, 04:28:40 AM »
I am really glad that you've had the opportunity to talk w/ your family and work things out.  To tell you the truth, I'm impressed w/ both your dh and your ss for initiating the conversations and especially in such a calm and condusive manner!  To me, it shows a willingness to ensure that positive communication remains in your family.  That can go a long way in keeping the peace.  Good luck, and glad I could once again help you to work your concerns out through my own post! lol.....

Now my concerns....sigh....they still exist.  So I've come up w/ some creative financing....tee hee....  I'm looking into 30 day CD's or something similiar.  That way it will tie up the so called "extra cash" for no more than 30 days, but still allow me to tap into it if I need to at mortgage payment time.  I've placed an ad in the paper for more children to care for; it will go out this Sunday.  I do so hope that I can obtain at least one more child w/in the next two weeks and a total of 4 more children by the beginning of April.  I plan to run the ad every single Sunday until I fill all 4 positions.  By the time it is all said and done, I will be caring for at least 7 children (5 full-time, all day kids and 2 before and after school kids), plus my 3 teenagers!  Whew!  It will all be worth it in the end, in my opinion.

God Bless
thair


 

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