Child taking new last name

[singleNEBdad]

Can my ex (legal & primary custodial, me 2ndary w/visitation) give my child the new last name after marrying someone else? We were never married and though we were together when our child was born, she didn't give our child my last name. If she can change the name to his, can I protest this to the Court with success?

thanks guys, SND

[janM]

Check with your local courthouse, but I think as long as you signed the birth certificate, she would need your permission to change it. Unless that only applies if the child had your name...
Child could use any name informally but on any legal documents, has to use the legal name.

I could be wrong so do some research at the courthouse.

[tulip]

If the child doesn't have your last name, why do you care if she changes it? I think you have to give your permission, and if she did it without your consent, it would probably not be legal. But I don't understand why it would important to you that the child keep his/her mother's maiden name. I think it's in the child's best interest to have the same name as parent's, and if he/she doesn't have the same last name as any of the parents now, you ought to give your consent.

[singleNEBdad]

>... but I think..
> Unless...
>..but on any legal documents, has to use the legal name.

>I could be wrong so..

WOW. What a response to an inquiry which was intended to bring at least some educated input. Should I just ask my daughter and see what she thinks??? Thanks for your time, though.

:7 SND

[singleNEBdad]

Q: >why do you care if she changes it?
A: Questioning the concerns of parents on this board indicates your lack of education, as respecting EVERYONE'S posts and search for answers is part of this site's mission.

>I think...
It's nice to know you think, but taking child custody seriously, I search for fact.

> it would probably..
Read: 'fact'.

> I don't understand why it would important to you that the child keep his/her mother's maiden name.
If you were my counselor(after reading your post, I may search for one) you'd probly ask me this question, just like if I were your counselor I'd ask why you fail to stick to subject matter and give aimless comment to simple kwess-chuns :).

> I think it's in the child's best interest to have the same name as
parent's..
Are you saying if my ex's name is Susan, we can name our baby boy Susan?

>and if he/she doesn't have the same last name as any of the parents now, you ought to give your consent.
Please keep in mind you give no disclosure to your advice, disclosure which would release your liability from providing harmful advice which could effectively bring sour consequence to some bafoon (read: BAFOON) that would actually read your responses. Hey, I'm a bafoon.
:D

-SND

"OUR CHILDREN, OUR FUTURE"

[MYSONSDAD]

You did not mention the age of your child.

Did you take a Paternity test to determine you are the biological father?

Was this matter brought up in mediation?

Are you on the birth certificate as the father?

I would contact on attorney. Many give free consultations on the first visit. If I father a child, I would want that child to have my name. I would want that child to know who I am. This could get confusing as the child gets older and starts to ask why she doesn't have your name.

My opinion only, but I would petion the court to have your name as father on the birth certificate and that the child will use your name.

I'll bet child support was granted pretty quick..

[janM]

Well.....excuse me for trying to help!

Look, none of us on this particular board are lawyers. If you want an answer to a legal question, talk to a lawyer and learn some manners.

[Troubledmom]

You Said ** Please keep in mind you give no disclosure to your advice, disclosure which would release your liability from providing harmful advice which could effectively bring sour consequence to some bafoon (read: BAFOON) that would actually read your responses. Hey, I'm a bafoon


Hmmm... maybe you should have read the sites disclaimer:
SPARC does not and cannot warrant the accuracy of the information provided on this World Wide Web site or the performance or results obtained by using this information. This information is provided "as is". By using the SPARC site, you agree to abide by this Disclaimer and Acceptable Use Policy.

SPARC makes no warranties of any kind, either express or implied, including but not limited to, accuracy, liability, or fitness for a particular purpose with respect to the information provided here. To the extent you use or implement this information, you do so at your own risk.

In no event will SPARC or it owners, operators or officers be liable to you for any damages arising from your use or, your inability to use this information, including any legal encumbrances, or other incidental or consequential damages, even if SPARC has been advised of the possibility of such damages, or for any claim by another party or entity.

The use of this site does not constitute an attorney-client relationship; in matters of law or litigation, local counsel should always be consulted. The opinions and information expressed on the SPARC site are the product of thousands of real life experiences and are not an attempt to proffer legal advice.

The public content of the SPARC website is presented as news, comments and editorial information only. As the Internet is a medium of public information the same as radio, television and the written word, all editorial comment is protected by the First Amendment of the U. S. Constitution and other provisions of the Bill of Rights. The SPARC web site is committed to providing factual information and will correct errors of fact with a "statement of correction and/or omission". In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C. section 107, this material is distributed without profit or payment to visitors of this site with an interest in receiving this information for non-profit research and educational purposes only.

[lah101]

"Can my ex (legal & primary custodial, me 2ndary w/visitation) give my child the new last name after marrying someone else?"

ok---and I take it you were not there when she named the baby.  How come you did not want the baby to have your name then?

"We were never married and though we were together when our child was born, she didn't give our child my last name. "


Sounds like you let her name the child in the first place to me--so why not now?  You came on this board asking for advise---Well there are some that have given you advise and all you care about is making a mokery out of it.  You need to ...

(1) Seek the advise of an attorney ..... and listen to him! ( which might be hard for you)

(2) Take the advise you asked for and use what you can and disregard the rest......but leave your stupid comments out of it---no one here needs that.

(3) Give all info if you want us to base  our answers on FACT


So if you do not want the answers you have recieved here--then I suggest you never come back and ask.

[wendl]

basically you are saying your ex has sole custody with you having visitation, you may want to go back to court and get JOINT legal. This means you have a say so in what happens etc.

Now for last names.
My son was given my last name at birth, when I married he wanted to change is last name to my husbands I have him the choice of his dads last name and he wanted my husbands. We have not legally changed it but he now uses my husbands last name, reason for my son wanting my husbands last name is we are a family he wanted me, his stepdad and stepbrothers to all have the same name.

Why didnt you seak to have your childs name changed prior to your ex remarrying why was it no important before. Just wondering.

[oklahoma]

Why are so many of you concerned about this father not wanting his child to have some other man's name?  I'm sure he has his reasons.

There have been some valid points for changing the name made.  However, why would BM be so set on changing the child's name to her soon-to-be husband's?  Answer: One step closer in removing real dad from the picture by replacing him with another dad.  Even if the child does not have SND's name now, it is the name of someone (BM) with whom he at one point had a relationship--not some unknown person coming into his child's life.  SF will have a strong enough influence--as all you stepparents know--without also having to give his name.

Of course, that said, I have to admit I am also on the side of the debate that says stepparents should not be called "mom" or "dad," especially when biological mother or father are around and trying to maintain a strong relationship.  Names and titles are big things.

[MYSONSDAD]

I am with you on this one...

'children learn what they live'

[joni]

As a SM who, with my DH, fight every day to stay in the life of my husband's daughter, I also agree about the child not taking the new stepfather's last name.  It is a step towards removing the bio dad from the picture and giving the first impression to people that this child is the step dad's based on presumption.

[doood]

i'm with the new guy...
i've been trying to be involved with my son since before he was born. bm chose to give him her last name. last month she married and moved out of state (notifying the courts two weeks later) and if she wants to change his name to her new hubby's i wanna step in have him take my name.

[doood]

singleNEBdad - tone it down dude.... it is impossible to give definite answers based on your first post, because laws vary from state to state and county to county... you specified neither, therefore, there is no way ANYONE, even a lawyer, could give you a definite answer.

[tulip]

In my state (I don't know about other ones) neither parent can change the child's name w/o the consent of the other parent. My daughter wanted to take my dh's name before she started school because she wanted to have the same last name as her brothers and sisters that have gone to her school and will go to the same school as her. Her "father" has never tried to be an active force in her life, has never gone to one of her school conferences or dance recitals, doesn't even know where her school is.
The first time I asked him about changing her name, he said no. He eventually agreed. I have never tried to push him out of her life, or keep him from her. He walked away from her, and walks in and out of her life as he pleases. I am very thankful that she doesn't have to go through school explaining to every kid that asks why she doesn't have the same last name as her parents that she has the name of the father she never sees.