We've had scheduled visitations as follows: Monday night
BM, Tues & Wed nights BF, Thurs. BM, Fri-Sun nights EOW.
A week ago, we get a call from BM that she can't pick the kids up Thursday night (the call was during the day Thurs) because someone from work had a relative die, and she had to close. We understood. It was our weekend to have them, and because she didn't pick the kids up, they got VERY upset, and acted out quite a bit.
Sunday evening, BM left a message on our answering machine, "I decided to take the weekend off, I can't pick the kids up until Tuesday." We were a bit unhappy, since she has obviously NO regards for our schedule, which fortunately was easily rearranged.
Tuesday we got hit with a bad snow-storm, and I took the day off to get legal matters taken care of. My boyfriend commented that he hadn't heard from BM, and he was worried she wouldn't pick the kids up again. I said she would, since she knows she's in hot water already. Of course, you know what happened: she didn't.
She called about 3:00 p.m. (mind you, my boyfriend would have to leave at 4:30 to go get them) to say that her flight has been delayed, and she can't get the kids. We knew NOTHING about the flight.
At 4:00 I went to a car dealer to pick up my new used truck, and he lets it slip that she and her new boyfriend left for Florida LAST THURSDAY (the night of the supposed death in her coworker's family). She KNEW she would be gone, and LIED to us, the babysitter, and the daycare facility about her whereabouts. I didn't let him know it slipped, and calmly walked out.
I called the daycare to let them prepare the youngest that I was coming to pick her up, and called the after school babysitter to prepare the other. They were both GREAT (for the first time) about it. We had a fun night.
Later that night - SHE called. The youngest asked her when she was picking them up, and in the background I said, "No lying this time." The youngest (bless her) says, "Melly says no lying this time." PBFH pitched a FIT! She told
SD to tell me it was none of my business, and told the older son to tell me that they were NOT my children and never would be!
Then, she starts screaming to my boyfriend to "tell that little bitch to mind her own business" (using MANY more expletives, mind you). I could hear her from across the room! Then, I heard her say, "That bitch had better hope I never get my hands on her!" I took the phone from my boyfriend and calmly said, "I'm sorry, was there something you wanted to tell me?" She just started swearing and hung up.
I called her back and let it ring until she picked up and informed her that she hurts her children every time she lies to them. She said it was none of my business. I told her it WAS my business because I was the one to see their disappointed faces and wipe away their tears. She said it wasn't my responsibility, it was my boyfriend's. I told her it WAS my responsibility because I love them. She said they aren't my children and never will be. I told her she was right, but that doesn't change how much I love them, and how hard it is to see them get hurt by her lies (it happens a LOT).
I told her that if she had just come right out and said she was going to Florida for a week and would't be able to get them, it would have been no big deal. After all, she did it last year (but stretched it for 2 weeks). She says that she does NOT need to tell "you people" her life. She didn't owe us ANYTHING. I told her that she owed it to her children to be truthful with them. She has no idea how bad she hurts them and what it does to them.
She said that she guesses I got more than I bargained for. I replied that yes, I most certainly did. I got a wonderful boyfriend, two wonderful children, and a psycho ex-girlfriend! She laughed. I told her that at her age (42) I rather expected her to act like a mature, responsible, grownup, but I guess I was wrong.
She said I didn't know the first thing about raising children, and I replied, "Sure I do. I'm raising yours!" and I hung up.
I guess the little one heard me, and the next time BM lied to her, she called her a liar. BM got MAD (as I can understand), and the little one (3) says, "Well, Melly says you're a liar."
She called my boyfriend at our work and threatened me - through him. He told me what she said, so I called her cell phone and left a very nice, calm, and polite message. I told her that I had NEVER called her anything in front of the children, and that they must have overheard our conversation. Secondly, whatever problem she has is with me, and she does not need to involve either the children or my boyfriend. She has both my home and work numbers, so if she needs to say anything to me, she can say it to me directly. I told her to have a nice day, and gently hung up.
2 days later she called my boyfriend to tell him that she got my message and that she'd prefer I didn't call her cell phone (whoops- she has to PAY for that incoming call!). He told her he wasn't involved, and that she can do as I said and talk to me directly and hung up on her.
The next day she called and was talking to the oldest. He gave the phone to his little sister, but wouldn't tell her who it was. She asked who it was and BM must have said "Guess" or "Who do you think?" and she replied, "Grandma Jacque?" (my mom). BM must have asked "who?" and the little one replied again, "Grandma Jacque!" Then, she must have asked WHO "Grandma Jacque" was and the blessed little girl says, "Melissa's Mom!"
We haven't heard from her since.
Life is sweet.
Mellybug
