Separated Parenting Access & Resource Center
crazy gamesriddles and jokesfunny picturesdeath psychic!mad triviafunny & odd!pregnancy testshape testwin custodyrecipes

Author Topic: A nice email for anyone going through hard times  (Read 2189 times)


  • New Arrival
  • *
  • Posts: 44
  • Karma: 0
    • View Profile
A nice email for anyone going through hard times
« on: Jul 26, 2004, 10:49:03 AM »
I talked to my mother first chance I got today about the ongoing problems with PBFH. As always she made me feel a lot better and put things in perspective for me. Turned off my phones and took a nap. When I woke up I had this email from my mother with her telling me I am her Coffee Bean. Made me emotional as hell (horomones again hehe) and I wanted to share it with all of you who are going through hard times also.

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee .....

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her.  She didn't know how she was going to make it,   It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose. She was tired of fighting and struggling and wanted to give up.  

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soonthe pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.  Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.  The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it.  After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.  Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.  The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked,   "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each object had faced the same adversity ... boiling water.  Each reacted differently.  The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.  The ground coffee beans were unique, however.  After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?  Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"  Think of this: Which am I?  Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat?  Did I have a fluid spirit,  but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened  heart?  Or am I like the coffee bean?  The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.  If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.  When the hour is the darkest and trials are  their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?  Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Kitty C.

  • Moderator
  • SuperHero
  • *****
  • Posts: 2612
  • Karma: 938
    • View Profile
« Reply #1 on: Jul 26, 2004, 11:29:15 AM »
And EXACTLY what I needed right now!

I'm printing this off so that I can read it every time I find myself 'slipping'.

And tell your mom she is a wonderful, inciteful lady!
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


  • Guest
RE: A nice email for anyone going through hard times
« Reply #2 on: Jul 26, 2004, 04:25:23 PM »
That's a fantastic story! My aunt had a way of looking at adversity, as well. Since I know so many of us go through hard times, I thought maybe I'd share her take on it.

When each of us have hard times, it usually seems like one thing after another. Things start to cool down and just as you start to relax, something else seems to come along. Sometimes it feels like waves crashing over where you gasp a little air just before the movement of the ocean pulls you back down. This is for a reason.

When a blacksmith tempers a sword, he heats the steel in the fire, shapes it and cools it a little and then puts it back in the fire. Each time he does this, tiny layers build in the steel. Those layers make the sword strong. The more times the steel is heated, shaped and cooled, the stronger that steel becomes until it is all but unbreakable.

God, she told me, is our blacksmith. He tempers us throughout our lives. Each time we are placed in the fire, we build another layer, fortify our internal strength. And sometimes it feels as if it is one thing after another. Things cool off for a moment and then it heats back up again. God knows how much tempering we need. Sometime during our lives, we will face adversity so great that we will need to be all but unbreakable. The strength we build from each small problem builds on itself until we can face that great challenge.

Each time something goes wrong, I always look up and ask, "You're not done with me yet?" I guess I still need some more tempering before I can get through the biggest battle.


Copyright © SPARC - A Parenting Advocacy Group
Use of this website does not constitute a client/attorney relationship and this site does not provide legal advice.
If you need legal assistance for divorce, child custody, or child support issues, seek advice from a divorce lawyer.