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Author Topic: Need help for son in trouble  (Read 1593 times)


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Need help for son in trouble
« on: Mar 15, 2004, 08:58:28 PM »
Hello everyone!

My son has been arrested and charged with DV, when he never hit or tried to harm her.  He even tried to leave the apt., but she accussed him or breaking his promise to not leave when they got into an arguement!  BIG mistake, he should have never went back into the apt.!!

He now has been arrested, and released on his own PR, after a night in jail.  The court also entered a no contact order.  She went down to court the next day, and got a restraining order to keep him from seeing his son.  Now mind you she tried to contact him several times immediately after he was released, even though she knew he couldn't talk to her.  She even got other people to call, and then got on the phone when he picked it up.  But he called the police immediately, and told them what happened.

She also went to numerous agencies to get financial help, even though she had a job, he had just helped her buy a car the week before, and she had taken $500.00 , money he had in the house when arrested.

She also requested his lawyer ask him to pay the rent, even though they had an agreement to pay half the rent each.  They have three months left on the lease.  He only got 10-15 mins to retreieve his personal belongings with police standby.

After she found out he had an attorney, she had TRO removed, and tried to get the NCO order removed, but couldn't.  So now she wants my  son to plead quilty, so they can go back to the way they were!

My son was engaged to this woman for over a year, but states he didn't feel he could trust her!  He didn't learn about her previous child abuse charges until their son was born, and CPS told them they couldn't take the baby home, unless they agreed to parenting classes.  My son has no other children!

Now I said all that to ask this.  How can my son get custody of this child, or can I??  The mother is smoking around the child, and the child has had RSV twice!!!    She has lied repeatedly, and even my son lawyer has caught her in a lie!  My son has been told by employees of a store, that she was seen SHAKING the child, and screaming at him!!!!  The baby is 7 mos old, and sweet baby...who loves to laugh!!

Thank you for any help in advance


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RE: Need help for son in trouble
« Reply #1 on: Mar 16, 2004, 01:14:35 AM »
My opinion only. DO NOT PLEAD GUILTY!
If she is a liar, why would you trust her now?

Tell your son to get his butt in gear and get a good family law attorney. You mention his lawyer. Were they working on custody before this happened? With other abuse charges on her, he should have a pretty good chance of getting his son. See if the agency will testify in his behalf or get documentation from them. File for an emergency hearing and go with your son as a support system. Are you willing to do the exchanges for your son? I do not think she can keep the baby from him based on the RO. All States are different. I have an RO on me now, but I still see my son. We exchange in the Police department. My ex is just like what you are dealing with. She makes contact all the time, talks, writes notes, get upset in front of the police. Total peice of work. I never touched her. She started cheating on me when my son was only 2 weeks old. She only got the RO to better her chances for the custody trial. She knows it and I know it. She's scared.

Call DCFS or that same agency back and have that baby checked on. If your son has some neighbors he can trust, have them keep their eyes open wide. If there is a problem, call the cops. You could also have a welfare check done.

Get those witnesses to sign sworn affadavits before they change their minds.

Has he established paternity? Is he on the birth certificate?

Start documenting everything, every call, every contact. He should always have a witness near him. Check to see if he can tape. Have a camcorder nearby at all times. Keep a camera in the car. I have missed many a 'Kodak Moment'.

There are cameras in the stores, any chance you could talk with store security and see if she was taped neglecting the baby?

Another thought would be hire a PI. They are well worth the money.

Tell him to get the time tracker either on the Sparc site [free] or the Optimal, Parentingtime.net. Another trick would be, any time something happens, send yourself an e-mail of the occurence or send it to your attorney. It will have the date and time of the e-mail.

In my State, smoking is a form of child abuse. Every State has their own statues. Check the laws for your state. Get your son here to post questions or just vent. He needs to take action ASAP.

My heart goes out to you, my PBFH is exactly how you discribed your sons. That baby deserves better. Wish I knew then, what I know now.

Come back often, many good people here to help you both along the way. Tell your son to take the high road and always keep the baby at the forefront.

You and your son will benefit from all the articles here. Start reading. Educate yourselves. You are about to be in for the fight of your lives.

Your son has rights, he just has to fight like hell for them!

Best of luck and welcome to Sparc...

Kitty C.

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I agree, and......
« Reply #2 on: Mar 16, 2004, 09:20:19 AM »
Get copies of the child's medical records.  RSV can be DEADLY in infants!  If she's got priors with DCFS and was witnessed shaking the baby (also see if you can get this person to testify), along with smoking around an RSV baby, JMO, but she ought to have her parental rights removed.  We're talking slow death here.

Do some research on shaken baby syndrome and know what the signs are.  Do the research on RSV as well.  You must be educated on this, because you and your son are the ONLY ones who that child can depend on to save it's life....certainly NOT the mother.
Handle every stressful situation like a dog........if you can't play with it or eat it, pee on it and walk away.......


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RE: Need help for son in trouble
« Reply #3 on: Mar 16, 2004, 02:11:50 PM »
Under NO circumstances is he to plead guilty. Just as soon as he does, he faces an almost impossible fight NEXT time and WILL be seen as a violent offender.

Tips For Getting Started

How To Hire An Attorney

Hiring An Effective Attorney

Success Factors In Obtaining Custody


One of the first things you'll hear around here is "Document, document, document!". Having good records is *crucial*. Get yourself either the Parenting Time Tracker (PTT) at: http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/tracker.htm or the OPTIMAL Custody Tracking service at: http://www.parentingtime.net. The PTT is good, but the OPTIMAL service is definitely better.


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